


Tracing Victims

by Skylark62



Category: Law & Order: SVU, Without a Trace
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:37:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 60,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5764993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylark62/pseuds/Skylark62
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A crossover between Without a Trace and Law & Order: SVU.<br/>FBI agent Martin Fitzgerald  wants to make a few changes in his life. He decides to explore the sexual feelings he has discovered he has towards men, and in the process meets a man who is happy to help him with this.<br/>He also wants a change from working in the missing persons unit. He gets the chance when he discovers one of the cases he's working on has similarities to a Special Victims Unit case, and works as part of the SVU team to solve the case.<br/>Little did he realize that these two different aspects of his life are about to intersect.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've put the series' together so that the end of season 7 of Without a Trace occurred around the same time as Season 15, Episode 6 (October Surprise) of SVU. It is based in the SVU universe, so should be readable by anyone who didn't see WIthout a Trace.  
> This was my first ever attempt at NaNoWriMo, and it took me 2 weeks to write.

Special Agent Martin Fitzgerald of the FBI’s Missing Persons unit sat in the dim light of his apartment, not having bothered to turn on the lights when he got home. He could see enough to pour himself a drink from the twinkling lights in nearby buildings, and that was all he wanted.

 

He had put on a happy act for hours now, and so he had been relieved to drop it as soon as he had walked out of the dinner which had doubled as a wedding reception for Danny and Elena. Really, he thought, as he took a too-large gulp of the whiskey, he should be happy for his best friend, not be feeling sorry for himself.

 

But he did feel sorry for himself. Where had his life gone wrong? How had he let it get to the point where he watched his best friend, the man he loved, marry someone else without ever making his feelings known? What if this had been his chance, and he had blown it, not today, but in the last few years, by never telling Danny how he felt? He had known he was in love with Danny for years, but had never spoken up, never even hinted to the other man about how he felt. Instead he had hesitated far too long, and then watched as Danny fell in love with Elena, and today vowed to spend the rest of his life with her.

 

Martin poured himself a second drink. If he ended up getting smashed, so be it. As he more slowly sipped his refill, he thought back to his relationship with Danny over the years.

 

When Martin had first started working in the missing persons unit, he had been enthusiastic about the job and the new place to work. He had hoped that his father’s position of Deputy Director of the FBI wouldn’t cause problems for him, but that had been naïve. He wasn’t sure if the bad start he had with Danny was solely due to his dad, or that Danny didn’t want competition in the department with another man, or just something about Martin that rubbed him up the wrong way. Certainly he had made mistakes, but all new people in their field of work did that.

 

Over the first year though, they had worked through their differences and by the time they had been working together a couple of years, they were on their way to becoming good friends. They spent time outside work together sometimes, as well as working well when Jack did pair them up. This had reduced when Martin had been seeing Samantha though. What a mistake that had been! Getting involved with someone you work with was never really a good idea, but when that person was your boss’s ex, that made it even worse. They had tried to keep it quiet, but the rest of the unit figured it out. Keeping that a secret from Danny, plus his spending a lot of his free time with Samantha had put distance between the two friends, but when he finally gave up on his relationship with Sam, realizing it never would go anywhere, he was determined to spend more time with Danny, and regain the closeness they seemed to have lost.

 

Unfortunately, before he could put that plan into action, Martin got shot. Spending weeks in the hospital and nearly dying made him re-evaluate his life and his relationships. He realized he didn’t have a lot to show for it; yes he had helped people at work and that was important to him, but he didn’t have any love-life or even many close friends. He also realized something with the weeks of recovery: although Samantha visited him quite regularly, he found himself getting irritated with her. She seemed to want to get back together, but that wasn’t what he wanted. The person he realized he did want was Danny.

 

They had been through the shooting together, although luckily Danny had escaped the gunfire, but the other man hadn’t been to see him since he left the hospital. Martin wasn’t sure why that was, but he knew he missed him, and wanted to spend time with him. More disturbing than that though, was that he now admitted to himself that the feelings he had for Danny were not those of one friend to another, but of attraction and desire.

 

Martin had grown up always knowing that he was expected to have suitable relationships, and marry a woman from the right background. His father was very disappointed that Martin had not succeeded in doing this so far, but he was realizing that he didn’t want to do it at all, ever. He had always been in firm denial that any feelings of attraction he had towards men were anomalies, and that he was perfectly straight. Nothing else was acceptable in his family. Now Martin was rethinking this. The close shave had jolted him out of his denial, and made him realize that life was too short to not make the most of it. He was attracted to men as well as women, yet could have died without ever experiencing what it was like to be with a man. He vowed to change that.

 

But soon after he made it back to work, when he was just getting his friendship with Danny back on track, he got injured. He was determined to stay in work as he had been bored stiff at home when he had been recovering, so he took the painkillers the doctor had given him, and when he found they didn’t do the trick, he took more instead of slowing down and resting. Before he knew it, he was reliant on the pills just to function, and pulling away from everyone in his life in order to give him the distance he needed to hide his new priority in life; where to get the next dose. His life spiraled down into near disaster. Luckily he still had friends who were willing to help him, and Samantha and Danny between them made sure that despite himself, he got the help he needed.

 

Even though his addiction to painkillers gave him something in common with Danny who was an alcoholic, the two men didn’t bond over the experience. Danny made sure that he watched out for Martin, that he got a sponsor and followed the 12 step program of Narcotics Anonymous, but that was it. Martin suspected that he didn’t want the reminder of what he had gone through, and to be honest, he didn’t really want Danny to see him at his worst either.

 

One thing that was drummed into him via NA was that he needed to concentrate on himself, and as a single man, he shouldn’t even consider getting into a relationship for at least a year. Martin could see why that was sensible, but he really wanted to make changes to his relationship with Danny. A lot of what was discussed in NA was about being honest and truthful with people, and he felt that he wasn’t able to be that with Danny as so much had been left unsaid. But he knew that he needed to get their friendship on an even footing again, not be about NA or Martin’s injury or recovery, but just about two friends having a good time together. Anything more was on hold for now.

 

Martin succeeded in getting back his friendship with Danny to where he wanted it, and his recovery was going very well. He had been clean of drugs for nearly a year when he started to see the looks between Danny and Elena, and realized what it meant. He watched closely over the next few months and his suspicions were confirmed; they had gotten together. He thought about blurting out his feelings, but seeing how happy Danny was, he couldn’t do that to him, and really, what chance did he have anyway when Danny was obviously falling for Elena. Better for him to wait until it fell apart, like all Danny’s relationships did. He could then help pick up the pieces, and then after Danny’s heart was mended, he could make his move.

 

Except that never happened. Danny and Elena got closer and more serious, then Elena appeared with a ring on her finger, and they were making wedding plans. Martin had missed his chance. He still hoped that something might go wrong, although he felt guilty every time that thought went through his head, but it didn’t.

 

He was glad that in the end they had gone for a small wedding, without all the usual hoopla. He had been worried that Danny might ask him to be his best man, and Martin didn’t think he could have stood up next to Danny and watch him marry Elena, or give a best man’s speech. It was hard enough for him to just be there, with a happy smile on his face, and not stand up and declare his feelings when the justice asked if anyone knew of any reason why the union could not go ahead.

 

He had kept quiet, offered his congratulations to the newly married couple, and gritted his teeth through the dinner before escaping as early as he could get away with, under the pretext of having a headache. It wasn’t a lie either, as the strain of the day had given him a tension headache. Sitting on his own in the dark drinking whiskey probably wouldn’t help that, but he couldn’t help brooding.

 

What should he do now? The idea of life going on as usual, with him having to work day in, day out with the happy couple was unbearable. Maybe he should ask for a transfer and get away from them, make a new start somewhere else. But he enjoyed his job and really felt he could help people. He didn’t want to give that up. He definitely wanted a change from it though, a break to give him chance to heal his broken heart. Danny and Elena were on their honeymoon for two weeks so he would use that time to see what options were available, maybe speak to Jack about other opportunities.

 

***

 

The next day Martin knocked on Jack’s door and when his boss waved him in, he sat uncomfortably in the chair in front of the desk. Jack was looking at him seriously, not giving him any clues as to his mood. His relationship with Jack had been strained ever since he messed up by getting involved with Kim Marcus, a woman who had started out as a witness in one of their cases, but turned out to be involved in an armed robbery. This had only been a few weeks ago, and he was still trying to make up for that disaster.

 

“Erm Jack. I wanted to talk to you about maybe having a change here at work.” Jack’s eyebrows rose up, but he didn’t say anything. That didn’t help Martin’s nerves.

 

“I’ve been feeling a bit restless for some time, and I think that contributed to my bad judgement over the last couple of months. Maybe it’s a seven year itch type of thing.” Martin smiled as he made this sort-of joke, but Jack’s face never twitched. “I just feel I need a break, not necessarily permanently, but maybe something short-term to give me a change, and allow me to get my perspective back. What do you think?” Martin waited with baited breath to see what Jack would say. If he didn’t approve, Martin’s only option would be to apply for a permanent transfer, which he really didn’t want to do. Of course he could go over Jack’s head to his father, but he had no intention of doing that.

 

Jack put his pen down and sighed. He had known Martin was struggling for some time, and even suspected he knew why. He had sometimes seen how Martin watched Danny and Elena, and wasn’t sure if he had feelings for one of them, or if it was just that Martin wanted a relationship himself and was lonely. He felt that was a big factor in leading up to Martin being used by Kim Marcus and nearly wrecking his career. Still, Martin had identified the problem and wanted to solve it. Despite the tongue lashing he had given Martin over his bad decisions when he had realized Kim was involved in criminal activity, Jack knew Martin was a good agent and an asset to the team. He didn’t want to lose him, but wanted him to get back to his usual efficient self. Maybe a break would do him good.

 

“Maybe, if you think that would help. What did you have in mind?” Jack asked.

 

Martin took in a deep breath and relaxed somewhat. “I’m not sure what’s available. Maybe work on a task force for a bit or a secondment to another department. Something different to this, just for a while. I enjoy this job and don’t want to give it up, but I just need a short break from it. Could you maybe put out a few feelers to see what’s available please?”

 

“Yes, I can do that, although there won’t necessarily be anything straight away, plus we’re short-handed for the next few weeks anyway with both Danny and Elena off on their honeymoon.” Jack watched Martin’s face as he mentioned his co-workers and saw a slight flinch that Martin couldn’t quite cover up. He was right; their relationship was the cause of Martin’s problems. Maybe it would do him good to get away from it for a while. Jack decided he would do what he could to help Martin find something suitable so he could get the break he was asking for.

 

“Thanks Jack, that would be great. Whenever is best for you is fine by me. It’ll be good to know I can do this, even if it isn’t immediately.” Martin smiled at his boss, and then got up to go back to work. He felt so much better already, knowing he had taken the first step into getting over Danny and making changes in his life.

 

***

 

Rafael Barba, Assistant District Attorney for the Special Victims Unit of the NYPD, was also spending his evenings sat alone in his apartment, drowning his sorrows in whiskey. It had been a bad few weeks, with the trial and subsequent conviction of his childhood friend, Alejandro Muñoz.

 

Despite him being rightly convicted with overwhelming evidence of sexting and possession of child pornography, he was still blaming Rafael for his downfall, to everyone who would listen, which included all the press. As the mayoral candidate that had been the favorite to win the election which had been only 6 days after his arrest, it had made headline news, and was still a popular subject in the papers and on TV. Rafael had been vilified repeatedly by Alex and his supporters, and he couldn’t even go to see his mother as he dare not show his face in his old neighbourhood, after Alex and their friend Eddie had been arrested.

 

It was so unfair, as it hadn’t even been him who had been the prosecutor of the case, and every day Rafael had had another person laying into him if they could get near enough to vent their opinion. He had to go through the back to the court to give evidence as he had been booed and jeered by the Muñoz supporters at the front steps. Rafael wasn’t used to this treatment, and hated every second of it. He could only hope that it would die down soon, but realistically, he didn’t expect it to. He considered himself to have a thick skin; with his background and his job, he’d needed it, but this was starting to get to him.

 

Overall he enjoyed his work, although since he had taken on the job as ADA for the Special Victims Unit he found that he cared more about the victims than how the cases would help his career. That was new for the ambitious lawyer, and he was not sure that it was a change he liked. When he cared, he could be hurt when the verdict didn’t go his way. Plus seeing the victims of each case who were permanently scarred from their experiences was starting to weigh him down. The cases were tough too; too often it was the victim on trial rather than the suspect, and it was difficult to get a conviction when that was the case. But overall he found his work rewarding, and he had put away a lot of scumbags that he wasn’t convinced another ADA would have been able to. Cocky – yes; but he knew he was good at his job, and had proved it many times in the past.

 

But outside work what did he have? A very nice apartment, his mother and his work colleagues from the ADA’s office and the SVU squad, but not a lot else. He didn’t have much family, few friends that were not job-related, and no love life at all, or even the prospect of one.

 

He was gay, and comfortable in his sexuality, but he also knew that it wouldn’t be a good move, career-wise, to come out, so he kept his private life just that. No-one at work knew of his sexuality, and he made sure that any dalliances he did have were kept well away from the rest of his life. But that did make it difficult to meet people, and definitely reduced his chances of having an actual relationship. He really would like that, but had no idea how to go about even meeting someone for one, without it impacting his career.

 

There was one place that he sometimes visited; an exclusive club for men like him who valued discretion above all else. Somewhere he could let his guard down, knowing everyone else there had something to hide too, and that he could safely peak out of the closet when he was there and not be risking anything. Certainly not his heart, as whenever he went to the club, he only met men interested in a one-night stand. Men in his position who went there weren’t looking for a relationship. It was a place to get off, to meet someone safely for a quick hook-up but nothing else. Rafael hadn’t been there for months, but now he was wondering if he should go, just so he could let off some steam and tension.

 

***

 

Martin had been thinking about how else he could make progress in getting over Danny. Despite the feelings he had had for men over the years, he had never actually done anything about it. All his relationships had been with women, and he had never even kissed a man, never mind anything more than that. As far as men were concerned; he was a virgin. Not what most men would want he was sure. Plus, never having done anything with another man, he really wasn’t sure how he would react if he did get into the position of going to bed with a man. He had never touched a man’s body; never seen another man’s penis (other than in porn) or touched one, and definitely never had any anal stimulation. What if he didn’t like it, or found he wasn’t turned on by a man? He had always enjoyed a woman’s curves and breasts, so maybe despite his attraction for men, he preferred women when it came to physical intimacy. Maybe he was torturing himself for nothing by thinking he had been chasing the wrong sex all these years. Maybe he should find out.

 

Martin remembered a conversation he had had with his father years ago. One of the deputy directors of the FBI had been caught in a compromising situation with another man, and it had been in the press. His career was ruined and the reputation of the FBI tarnished (according to his father, anyway). Martin remembered his dad saying that he should have ‘kept it in his pants or gone to the club if he really had to do that, where he could do what he wanted discretely’. Martin thought that he had remembered that nugget of information purposefully, even though at the time he had not been considering men himself. But now he wondered if he could get the information about this club and visit it. He definitely wanted somewhere discrete, not for himself, but to prevent embarrassment for his father.  He decided to make some enquiries.

 

He rang his father the next evening, supposedly on the pretext of coordinating birthday gifts for his mother, but managed to ask about the club. He said he knew someone in the FBI who was gay and looking for somewhere to go, and that he remembered his dad mentioning the club in the past. Victor Fitzgerald started to ask who it was, before changing his mind; probably realizing he was best off not knowing. He did say he would send Martin the information though, and the next day Martin received a text with a website address, plus a password.

 

When Martin got home from work that night, he fired up his laptop and went to the website, needing to use the password just to get access to it. There he found details of the club, from where it was and the opening hours, to access information. Apparently you needed to be a member in order to go there, and to join, you needed to provide your details so they could be verified. The website assured absolute privacy, so Martin went ahead and filled out the form. He was told the application would be processed within a few days.

 

Sure enough, a couple of days later, Martin received an email with a door access code, plus a list of the rules for the club, which he studied. The main rule was privacy for all members, some of whom could be well known, either as holding prominent positions in business or politics, or from film or TV. No member should be hassled when they were at the club or have their outside life referred to by another member. There were also details about the facilities, including the back rooms. All members were to wear condoms (which would be provided) and ensure full consent by all parties for any activities undertaken. Martin found the whole idea of visiting there quite scary, but decided he would go that weekend, just to satisfy his curiosity.

 

***

 

When Rafael made it to the club the following Saturday night, he let himself in using the access code, and then took off his coat, before heading to the bar. The subdued lighting and music comforted him, and he started to relax. This was one place he could be himself, and not worry about someone giving him a hard time because of his job. He took a seat at the bar and ordered himself his usual, a double Macallan. He had just taken a sip and looked round to see who was in the bar – no-one he knew from previous visits or who he immediately recognized – when he caught sight of a man entering the club. Judging by the wide eyes and the way he hesitantly looked round, Rafael judged that he was a new member on his first visit.

 

The stranger came up to the bar and ordered a Macallan, which made Rafael smile. He decided to put the newcomer at ease by being friendly. “Good choice. That’s my usual brand, and it’s a good bottle that they keep here.” He turned in his seat and smiled at the man who had just paid for his drink and was taking a sip.

 

The stranger turned to him and returned his smile. Rafael was immediately taken by his good looks and sky blue eyes. ‘Wow, this man is gorgeous’ he immediately thought.

 

“Hi,” the handsome man greeted Rafael. “I’ve always enjoyed a good scotch, and I must admit to liking this brand in particular.”

 

Rafael went on to tell him about his visit to the Macallan Estate when he visited Scotland a few years ago, and soon the two men were in deep conversation about drinks. This led to a discussion about food, and Rafael could tell that his companion was starting to relax. He didn’t look as nervous now and even started to look round the bar.

 

“You can go and talk to someone else if you want to. Don’t think you need to stick with me.” Rafael felt he should give the other man the option to escape from him without needing to be rude and walk away. He was enjoying their discussion, and was definitely attracted to the new member, but realized that might not be how his companion was feeling.

 

“No, thanks,” the man answered with shy smile for Rafael. “It’s my first time here and I’m a bit nervous. I’ve not done this before,” he mumbled, this time not looking at Rafael.

 

Rafael took a sip of his drink while he considered what to say next. He was intrigued by the comment. What did he mean by ‘I’ve not done this before’? Not done what before? Been to a club for sex, or been with a man. Considering how shy the man appeared – was that a blush on his face that he could see? – Rafael could believe that he was new to all this. Well, if he wanted a teacher, Rafael would happily show him the ropes.

 

“I guessed this was your first time here by the way you were looking around when you arrived. It’s a good club, and I’ve always found everyone to be friendly, and the privacy aspect makes it a very discrete place to come if you want to meet another man without anyone knowing. Are you new to the area if this is your first visit, or have you only recently found out about it?” Rafael tried to put the other man at ease and also find out a bit more about what had brought him here.

 

The man sighed and took a gulp of his drink before looking at Rafael for a few seconds while he appeared to be deciding what to say. Apparently what he saw in Rafael’s face was acceptable as he opened up. “I’ve lived in New York for 7 years and have been aware of this place for a while, but it’s only recently I’ve decided to make changes to my life and take a risk and come here. I nearly died a while back and it got me thinking about exploring things about myself that I had always backed off doing before.”

 

Rafael interpreted this as the man only just coming to terms with his sexuality, and felt a thrill go through him at the possibility that he may be the one who would get to help this gorgeous man. “Ahh, so can I assume that up to this point you have mainly been involved with women then?” he asked.

 

“Yes, only ever women. I’ve never … been with a man at all.” This was practically whispered, with the man now blushing bright red and staring fixedly at his drink, not making eye contact. Rafael put a hand on his arm to get his attention, and when he finally looked up, gave him a gentle smile.

 

“Good for you. It takes guts to acknowledge you are attracted to men when it’s so much easier to stay in denial. Homosexual relationships aren’t always easy, or accepted, otherwise clubs like this wouldn’t exist.” The man looked up now, obviously feeling better about having opened up to Rafael. “I never had an option,” Rafael told him, realizing he should reveal something about himself if he expected his companion to keep opening up to him. “I’ve always known I was gay, so after my first experiment with a woman, it was never tempting for me to get involved with one again. But it has led to a lonely life, as most of my time has been spent at work, with few opportunities to meet men. Hence me being a member here.”

 

Rafael decided to try and find out what the other man wanted. “So, what did you have in mind when you came here? What were you expecting or hoping for?”

 

The man shrugged his shoulders. “I wasn’t sure what to expect really, and didn’t think further than having a drink or two. I suppose I did hope to meet some men and maybe if I was attracted to someone see what might happen. I’m really not ready to do much though. This is all so new to me.”

 

Rafael finished his drink before responding. “Well you’ve had a drink and met me, so that’s a good start. Do you want to go and talk to some other men, see if you are attracted to anyone?”

 

The blush was back, and Rafael got a quick flash of the man’s lovely blue eyes before he looked away. “No, I don’t need to go and meet anyone else, to find someone I’m attracted to.” This was practically whispered, but Rafael heard it and felt a thrill go through him.

 

“I’m glad to hear that,” he replied quickly, wanting to make it clear to the other man that he was interested too. “So you say you’re not ready to do much. What do you want to do? We can get another drink and talk some more, or we could maybe go where it’s more private and you can see what you feel comfortable doing.” Rafael wanted to give the man options, but also not move too quickly to scare him off. Although he had come to the club with the intention of getting laid, he was really enjoying spending time with this man, and was willing to take his time.

 

“I’m happy to go slowly, and only do as much as you are ready to do. If that means just making out, that’s fine by me.” The last thing Rafael would ever do is pressurise anyone into going further than they wanted to go, especially since he had been working in sex crimes, but that wasn’t something he could explain without talking about his job, which he wasn’t willing to do.

 

He could see the relief on the other man’s face and the tension leave his shoulders. He looked up and smiled at Rafael. “I’d like that if you're sure it's okay with you. But I’m sure you came here tonight with plans to do more than coddle a nervous virgin, and I can’t promise spending time with me will do anything other than leave you frustrated.”

 

Rafael laughed. “That’s okay. I can take a bit of frustration. So do you want to get another drink here?” He saw his companion blush as he shook his head, and realized what that meant. He got up and extended a hand to him. “Come on. Let’s go and find somewhere a bit more private.” The man put his hand in Rafael’s and he felt a surge of excitement go through him at the first touch between them.

 

Rafael led them through a side door and down a corridor, where he picked up a key from a hook and went into a room, locking it behind them but leaving the key in the door. Inside was a bed and a couch, but not much else. Rafael took off his suit coat and loosened his tie while his companion looked around. He saw him swallow when he saw the bowl containing condoms by the bed. “Don’t worry, I’m not expecting we will be using any of those. As I said, we take it slow and stop if you feel uncomfortable, so don’t worry about telling me what you do or don’t want.” Rafael sat down on the couch and waited for the other man to join him. They sat side by side, but not quite touching. “My name’s Rafael by the way,” he said, thinking that may help break the silence.

 

“I’m Martin,” he got in reply. Martin held out his hand for Rafael to shake, which seemed very formal, so when they finished shaking hands, Rafael used his grip to pull Martin a bit closer, and then let go to set his hand on Martin’s shoulder. They were now much closer to each other, close enough that it wouldn’t take much for them to kiss. Rafael looked into Martin’s beautiful blue eyes and saw them darkening with arousal, so licked his lips and looked down at Martin’s mouth. He leaned forward slightly; enough so his partner could interpret his intentions but leave it to him as to whether he was ready to make that first move.

 

Martin swallowed hard then leaned forward, closing the gap between them. Both men’s eyes closed as their lips met for the first time, and after a few chaste kisses, Rafael took the initiative and licked at Martin’s lips, waiting to see if he would respond. Martin did, and soon they were kissing deeply, mouths open and tongues tangling.

 

Their bodies moved closer together, and Rafael moved one arm around Martin’s back and the other into his hair, not holding him in place, but caressing his head. Martin moved his hands which had been held rigidly by his side, and held onto Rafael, firstly just cautiously stroking down his arms, but then down his back, pulling him forward so their bodies were closer together.

 

Rafael broke the kiss to breathe and moved a few inches away from Martin to check how he was doing. “Is this okay with you?” He could see the swollen lips and dilated pupils, plus tell by Martin’s body language that he didn’t have a problem with what they were doing, but wanted to verbally confirm this.

 

Martin licked his lips and grinned. “This is great. It’s the first time I’ve ever kissed a man, but it feels right.”

 

Rafael grinned back at him. “I’m glad to hear it. It feels right to me too.” He pulled Martin in for another kiss, reassured by their quick exchange. Their kisses continued to grow more passionate, and Rafael shifted position on the couch so he was more reclining, with Martin following until their bodies were together, with no space between them. Rafael deliberately didn’t move his hips, wanting Martin to get used to feeling another man’s body against his own before he took things further.

 

In the end it was Martin who took the next step by grinding his hips into Rafael’s. He gasped as Rafael moved too and he felt the hardness of the other man’s cock against his own. He hadn’t expected it to feel that good, especially with layers of clothing still between them. Rafael moved his hands down and caressed Martin’s shapely ass through his suit pants and moaned. God, he did hope that Martin wasn’t going to leave him frustrated, but they would both be able to at least get off before they left.

 

Rafael tore his mouth away from Martin’s and waited for him to recover a bit before suggesting they move over to the bed. Martin looked nervous again, but Rafael reassured him again that he wouldn’t do anything Martin didn’t want, but that the bed would be more comfortable than the couch. Martin agreed and they both stood up and took the few steps to move to the bed.

 

Rafael took off his tie and undid the top buttons of his shirt and Martin realized at this point that he was fully dressed, and did the same, discarding his coat and tie on the couch. Both men toed off their shoes too before lying down. “Now, where were we?” Rafael asked with a smile before kissing Martin again, then moving down slightly to kiss his neck and move his hand to the buttons of his shirt. He pulled away to ask, “Can I take your shirt off?”

 

Martin nodded, and watched Rafael’s face as he undid the dress shirt he was wearing. He still felt nervous, but the other man was keeping to his word and going slowly. Martin still wasn’t sure how far he would be willing to go, but he did hope that he would be comfortable going far enough to leave them both satisfied. He also hoped this would not be a one-time thing, but he guessed that the club mostly catered to one night hook-ups, so wasn’t necessarily expecting more. He decided he should make a few moves of his own, and started undoing Rafael’s shirt too.

 

Both men sat up to remove their shirts once they were undone, and also after a pause, their undershirts. Then they lay down again. Martin hesitantly put one hand on Rafael’s chest. He was used to women’s chests, with breasts and smooth skin, not flatness and hair, of which his companion had a lot. Rafael smiled at his partner and relaxed onto the bed. “Touch if you want to; I don’t mind.”

 

Martin did that, running his hands through the hair and feeling the muscles under the skin. Although Rafael was in reasonable shape, he had a bit of softness around his middle and definitely didn’t have a six pack, but Martin thought he would feel intimidated by any man who did. He didn’t want to feel inadequate in comparison. He found he enjoyed touching Rafael though, who was responding as if he was enjoying it, especially when Martin played with his nipples.

 

After a few minutes, Rafael pushed Martin down on to the bed with a lascivious smile and an exclamation of “my turn!” Martin soon found that Rafael was just as good with his hands as he had been with his mouth, and that he was getting even more turned on by the other man exploring the skin of his top half. He obviously noticed his scars, but didn’t make any comment or touch him there. Martin appreciated that. He didn’t want to have to go into explanations or stop what they were doing.

 

Martin was enjoying making out like this. No woman had ever spent this much time exploring what turned him on before. Most of the time they seemed to expect him to do all the work, only usually concentrating on his groin. When had sex turned into a race to get ready for intercourse? All this making out might be what he had done as a teenager, when there were no realistic expectations of more, but he now remembered how much fun the foreplay was.

 

Rafael employed his mouth and explored Martin’s chest with his lips and tongue too, sucking on his nipples before making his way up his neck back to his mouth again for a passionate kiss. He pulled away again, this time lying fully on Martin with their cocks pressed against each other, and pressing down in very gentle thrusts.

 

“Hi there. How’re you doing?” Rafael asked Martin but had to wait for a verbal response.

 

Martin moved his hands down Rafael’s back until he was cupping his ass, and pulled him down, spreading his legs wider, so they ground even closer together. Both men gasped at the increase in sensation. “How do you think I’m doing?” was Martin’s response.

 

Rafael laughed. “Judging by your body language, you’re not going to last much longer than I am if we keep this up. Do you feel comfortable getting naked, or at least taking our pants off?” he asked.

 

Martin didn’t even have to think about it. He was going on pure instinct now, and his body was telling him to carry on. “Yes, that sounds good to me.” Rafael rolled off Martin and undid his belt and his pants while Martin watched. When Rafael looked pointedly at him, Martin followed his example and soon both men had discarded both pants and socks, and were left only in boxers, both clearly distended by their erections.

 

Rafael lay down and pulled Martin on top of him, and their bodies lined up again, this time the sensation being even stronger with only two layers of thin material between them. They kissed passionately again, thrusting against each other until Rafael could start to feel himself losing control. He broke away and rolled them so they were on their sides, then moved back so there was some room between them. He didn’t want to come in his underwear if he could help it, as that made for an uncomfortable trip home. Plus he wanted to see and feel Martin’s cock.

He ran his hand down Martin’s side until he reached his hip, and then slowly started moving it round to his groin, first looking into his eyes to make sure this was okay. Martin nodded at him, and then groaned when he first felt Rafael’s hand enclose his erection. This felt so good! He raised himself up from the bed and started to push his boxers off, helped by Rafael when he realized what Martin was doing.

 

Martin lay back on the bed, feeling shy again at being completely naked in bed with a man for the first time. Rafael pushed his own boxers off then lay down next to Martin, and kissed him first, before pushing their bodies together. They rocked against each other before Rafael moved so Martin was on top of him again. He wanted Martin to feel in control and not trapped. He opened his legs and raised his knees so he had good traction on the bed before kissing Martin again and thrusting upwards so their cocks were rubbing against each other.

 

Martin groaned. This was so good, and he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. “Rafael, I’m close; I’m going to come,” he admitted in a rough voice that Rafael found very sexy.

 

“Me too. Is it okay like this?” he checked, never stopping moving.

 

“Yes, this is perfect,” Martin gasped in reply, before he crushed their mouths together in another kiss. They moved together, getting gradually quicker as they both got even closer to their peaks. Rafael came first, quickly followed by Martin, and both men collapsed on the bed gasping as they recovered.

 

Martin knew he had a soppy smile on his face when he finally opened his eyes, to see Rafael gazing at him with a satisfied smirk. “Well that was pretty damn good for a first time. I hope that was up to your expectations?” Rafael asked.

 

“Oh yeah, that was great. I can’t imagine how good other things are if that’s how you can make me feel with not much more than basic making out.” Martin stretched on the bed like a satisfied cat. 

 

Rafael laughed. “Believe me, there’s lots more good stuff to explore.” He was a bit nervous of asking, but decided to go for it; “If you want, we could meet up here again next week and maybe do some more.”

 

Martin smiled, relieved, as it was what he wanted too, but hadn’t been sure if he should ask. “I’d like that, very much. Saturday night again?”

 

Rafael nodded “Yes, that works for me,” then sat up and reached for a box of tissues to clean them both up. After they were relatively clean, they slowly got dressed again. Martin wasn’t quite sure what to do next, but Rafael made it easier for him by pulling him in for a long hug and kiss before opening the door and leading him out. They headed through the bar together and out of the club to the sidewalk before saying good night and separating to each make their way home.


	2. Chapter 2

Monday morning found Martin called into work early for a case of a missing teenager, but he didn’t mind. He was in a good mood after Saturday evening with Rafael. He hadn’t really been expecting much when he had set out for the club, and had been very nervous. But Rafael had been really friendly, which had put him at ease straight away, and this plus his looks had really attracted Martin. Even the fact that he knew very little about the man other than his first name didn’t put him off; it was probably better that way, and despite not knowing him, Martin did feel he could trust him. He had been amazed how good it had felt and how right to be in bed with Rafael. Throughout their…encounter… Rafael had constantly checked with Martin to make sure he was comfortable, and happy with what they were doing. He was definitely a good lover and considerate. Martin was really looking forward to seeing him again. But in the meantime, he had work.

 

The teenager, Ashley, was 13 and appeared to have been snatched from a fairground that she had been to with friends on Saturday. Careful digging showed that she had been groomed, as eventually one of her friends admitted that she had arranged to meet a boy there who she had made contact with via a chat room. Martin used his computer skills to access the room and discovered it was a paedophile ring, which wasn’t surprising, but was very disturbing.

 

Two days after following fruitless leads, they got a call from Lucy, their tech assistant. The photo of the teenager had been tagged and social media was being monitored for any photos of her that facial recognition could identify. A semi-naked photo had been posted of her in a chat room and they could see a rose tattoo, which looked as if it had been newly applied to her shoulder. Her parents confirmed that she didn’t have any tattoos. This was a lead, and it triggered a memory in Martin.

 

He went back and did a keyword search of their past cases, and identified another missing teenager, Laura, which was an open case from 6 months ago. A photo had been found on a paedophile’s hard drive of the teenager who also had a rose tattoo, which had been done since her disappearance. It was obviously the same group who had abducted both children.

 

Martin worked the computer angle so was in the office when a call came in; a dead child had been found floating in the Hudson River. Jack and Samantha were closest to where the body had washed up, so were the ones to make the ID. It was Ashley. Her body hadn’t been in the river long, so the signs of sexual assault were still obvious. It appeared she had been strangled after being raped and sodomized which was confirmed by the autopsy. She had only been missing 5 days.

 

Despite their case being closed, Martin asked Jack to be allowed to keep working on it; after all, their still open 6-month-old case was obviously connected. It was likely that Laura was now dead, but by no means certain. Martin couldn’t stand the idea that other children were at risk. He wanted to stay on it and try and find a way to close down the ring. As there were no other cases at the moment, Jack agreed.

 

Martin’s work on the chat room had revealed that this group was involved in an online auction where the members could pay for what they wanted, whether it was photos or videos of what they wanted to see, and for the right price, a visit with one for sex. Martin was disgusted when he saw some of the items offered for auction, and was working with Lucy to try and get IP addresses or identities of the pedophiles. Unfortunately the site was hosted on the dark web, so they were having no luck. Martin tried to follow the money too, with his accounting degree coming in handy when it came to this, but again they had limited success.

 

 

They did identify two other children from pictures on the site though. They were not cases that had been investigated by the FBI, but had been cases for the NYPD, in particular the detectives of the Special Victims Unit. At Martin’s urging, Jack contacted Sergeant Olivia Benson of the SVU, who was acting head of the unit, and she came to the FBI with the case files so they could compare notes.

 

Martin discussed their cases with Sgt Benson, who also went through what they had discovered about the cases they had investigated. They were both passionate about wanting to solve these cases and put an end to this pedophile ring, and had some good ideas on how to proceed. They discussed their ideas and Jack could see how much this case meant to Martin. He knew they needed more resources than one man though on the case, and his superiors had just confirmed to him that they had to leave the case to SVU, as they were needed to move on to another missing person case.

 

Jack explained that the FBI wouldn’t be able to investigate further due to other pressing cases, but held up a hand as soon as Martin started to protest. “I agree that this ring needs closing, but upstairs say we can’t take on the job of doing it, but SVU need to take the lead on it. I can see how strongly you feel about this though, Martin, so if you want to assist SVU and Sgt Benson wants to have your help, I am willing to authorize a temporary secondment until the closure of this case. Have a think about it, and then let me know.”

 

Martin and Sgt Benson, looked at each other before she spoke. “Well I for one would be glad of your assistance and expertise, especially considering the inroads you’ve made so far. But it’s up to you.”

 

Martin smiled. This was just the opportunity he wanted. It would give him a chance to get away from missing persons for a while as well as following up on a case he cared about. “I’d love to help, and would be happy to temporarily join your squad so we can get these bastards put away.”

 

Jack smiled. He had found a way to accommodate Martin’s request as well as assist the NYPD in hopefully putting away a criminal ring, and it was perfect timing as Danny and Elena were due back the following week. Hopefully this break would be just what Martin needed. “Great, that’s settled then. It’s the end of the week, how about as of next week you join SVU, Martin. Just keep me informed of how you are getting on. If the trail goes cold or we get too swamped here, I might be told to call you back, but otherwise, consider yourself temporarily re-assigned. Good luck.”

 

Martin showed Sgt Benson out, discussing when he should start and where to go the following week to get the paperwork filled out for this temporary duty. He couldn’t wait. It was exactly the opportunity he wanted. Life was looking up for him, finally.

 

***

The next week following the Muñoz trial had seen an improvement for Rafael. He was deep in preparations for a rape trial which although not exactly cheerful, was relatively cut and dried, and definitely a distraction from the nightmare he had been going through the last few weeks. Thanks to a drugs scandal by a prominent businessman, the press had moved on from Muñoz so Rafael was getting less grief about it. He had also gotten laid which always put him in a better mood.

 

Rafael had gone to the club on whim, wanting to spend time with someone who wasn’t giving him a hard time, and also wanting to get off. Frottage hadn’t been what he’d had in mind when he’d set out that night, but he had gone home very satisfied. He felt he had made a real connection with Martin, which was much better than a one-night stand. He also now had a second ‘date’ with Martin to look forward to. He had ideas about all the things he wanted to show Martin about sex between men, and was hoping he’d get the chance. Maybe this could be a weekly thing, or they may be able to take it outside the club, depending what Martin wanted and who he was. Rafael felt there were definite opportunities for them.

 

By the time Saturday night eventually came around, Rafael was raring to go. He got to the club early, and sat on one of the bar stools again, watching in the mirror behind the bar every time the door opened, hoping it would be Martin. Time passed with no sign of the other man, and Rafael started to get anxious, as he knew he had no way of ever contacting Martin if he didn’t turn up. Luckily he did, and Rafael felt a huge smile cross his face when he saw Martin.

 

Martin came to stand by the bar next to him and greeted him with another shy smile. He got himself a drink, and then hesitated. Rafael asked “should we go get a room now? We can drink our drinks in private there.”

 

Martin nodded and started walking towards the back corridor while Rafael followed. ‘Well he’s certainly keen’ he thought. They went to the same room as the week before, and again took a seat on the couch, removing coats and ties and getting more comfortable before settling down. They said “cheers,” and clinked glasses before each taking a sip of their whiskey then moving into each other’s arms for a kiss.

 

They broke it off before it got out of hand so they could put down their drinks, and Martin wrapped his arms around Rafael. “I’m sorry I was late. I got a call from my dad as I was about to leave and he can be difficult, and would have wanted to know where I was going, so it was easier to just deal with him straight away.” Martin pulled a face. His father was angry that he had allowed himself to be transferred out to the NYPD temporarily, and wanted to discuss it with Martin. It hadn’t proved to be a pleasant conversation, and had threatened to put a pall on the whole evening, but Martin was determined to forget it and allow Rafael to distract him.

 

“It’s no problem, although I was worried you weren’t going to show up.” Rafael quickly forgave Martin.

 

“No chance of that if I could help it, although work does often get in the way of my plans. I’ve been looking forward to seeing you again all week,” Martin replied, before he colored, realizing he was probably saying too much.

 

“Me too,” Rafael agreed, “both with looking forward to it, and work sometimes interfering. It did occur to me that if you didn’t make it I have no way to contact you.”

 

“I thought the same when my dad rang and I thought I might miss you. Could we maybe swap numbers so we don’t have that problem?” Martin hesitated to suggest it, knowing it was implying that they would see each other again, but he didn’t want to accidentally lose touch with Rafael because they didn’t have each other’s contact details.

 

Rafael smiled. “That sounds like a good idea. I’ll give you my number.” Martin quickly got out his phone and programmed “Rafael” into it, then typed in the cell number that the other man reeled off before saving it. Then Rafael did the same thing with Martin’s number in his phone. Once that was done, they both sat back on the couch, not sure where to go from here.

 

Rafael felt he shouldn’t just jump on Martin, and really, he did like what he knew of the other man, and wanted to get to know him a bit better, so he picked up his drink. “So how’s your week been?”

 

Martin had been half expecting Rafael to pounce on him, but was happy to have some conversation first. He wanted to get to know the other man too, but was also wary, knowing that he couldn’t ask anything too much, especially about his work. “It’s been mixed. My job isn’t always the most pleasant and doesn’t always leave me feeling good when we have a bad outcome, and that was the case this week, but it has been quite positive too. I’ve needed a change at work and my boss has agreed to let me work in another area starting next week, so I’m happy about that. How about you?”

 

Rafael thought about how to answer. “My work is a big part of my life and recently it’s been horrible, with me being blamed for something that wasn’t my fault, but this week has been much better, with people finally moving on I think. My job isn’t always cheerful and positive either, but I really do feel I help people, which is what keeps me at it when it threatens to overtake my personal life.”

 

Martin could identify with that feeling. “I know what that feels like. I can get called in day or night and end up working without a break for days on end, which plays havoc with my personal life, when I actually have one. Knowing the good I do is the thing that keeps me coming back to it. I am looking forward to having a change though. I’ve done the same thing for 7 years and need a break, not only from the job but also the people.”

 

“Ahh, personal problems with co-workers?” Martin nodded at Rafael. “It can be difficult when you spend so much time at work, and the only people you see much of are the people you work with. I’ve been in my current position for 2 years but before that have moved round quite a bit. So what do you like to do when you do get time for a personal life?” Rafael wanted to get away from the thorny subject of work, where they had to monitor what they said.

 

Martin relaxed a bit and the two men ended up discussing everything from the sports they liked, to movies they’d seen and even TV shows they watched, and they found they had a lot in common. By the time they finished their drinks, they both felt much more relaxed and as if they knew each other better, and that this wasn’t just a sexual hook-up but a real date. They both put their glasses on the floor by the couch and caught each other’s eye, before moving closer together and into each other’s arms for a kiss.

 

Their make-out session got heated much quicker this time, and by mutual agreement they were quickly on the bed in just their underwear. This time Rafael traced a finger down Martin’s scar on his abdomen, which joined the obvious bullet holes that were also visible. “I can’t tell how old these are. Is your job dangerous?” Rafael asked hesitantly.

 

Martin sighed. “It was just over 4 years ago, and I was lucky, as I nearly died. But I’ve now made a full recovery. My job can be dangerous, and I do carry at work, but most of the time it’s fairly routine. I haven’t had to use my weapon often, and this was the only time I’ve been seriously injured in the 7 years I’ve been doing it.

 

Rafael kissed Martin’s bullet holes, “I’m glad you’re okay now,” then changed the subject by moving his hands further down and stroking Martin’s hips before moving them closer together and stroking his groin, looking up to check this was okay first. Martin pushed his hips up, allowing Rafael to push down the boxers, but felt a bit self-conscious as Rafael parted his legs and settled down between them.

 

Rafael looked at the hard cock in front of him, and encircled it with his hand, fisting it a few times until it was fully hard and leaking pre-come. He brushed his thumb over the slit, picked up a drop of the viscous fluid and brought it to his mouth and licked it away. Martin groaned, imagining what could be coming next, and Rafael smirked at him, knowing exactly what Martin was thinking. “So, I should check with you before we go any further; do you know if you are clean? I get myself tested after each partner so know I am, but how about you?”

 

Martin was thankful that he had been sensible when he had been with Kim and always used protection, but he had also been checked out after she had been arrested. “I was tested last month, and I’m definitely clean too.”

 

“Good,” Rafael smiled. “I can give you a blow job with a condom on, but even the flavored ones taste disgusting, so I would prefer not to, if that’s okay with you. If of course you want me to do that? Like last week, what we do is entirely up to you.” Rafael was pretty certain that Martin wasn’t about to turn him down, but wanted confirmation.

 

Martin rolled his eyes. “Do you really think I’m going to say no? Yes, please!” Rafael grinned at him before lowering his head and licking a stripe up his cock from base to tip. Martin groaned again. God this felt so good. Rafael got to work licking random patterns on the shaft and palming Martin’s balls, until he was panting and thrusting his hips up, then he took pity on him and took the head of Martin’s cock in his mouth and sucked. He swirled his tongue round the head and into the slit then slowly slid his mouth all the way down to the base, and swallowed around the head which was now in his throat.

 

Martin almost screamed, but managed to keep quiet, with just a whimper escaping. “God Rafael, I’ll come if you do that,” he managed to gasp out when Rafael pulled back to breathe. He got a smirk for that.

 

“That’s okay, you can come if you need to.” He then proceeded to test Martin’s control by again swallowing him to the root, using one hand on Martin’s balls, before pulling back to breathe. He kept that up for a few minutes, slowly ratcheting up the arousal in his partner. The final straw was when he started to hum. Martin couldn’t take any more and thrust erratically and put one hand on his shoulder in warning before coming down his throat. He pulled off before Martin got too sensitive, and moved to lie down next to Martin on the bed.

 

It took Martin a couple of minutes before he recovered enough to open his eyes and he saw the now familiar smirk of Rafael which he met with a smile of his own. “Wow, you’re definitely good at that.”

 

“I like to perfect my skills and I’ve always enjoyed it. I love the reaction deep-throating gets too. I bet most women you’ve been with can’t do that.” Rafael was nosey and always loved hearing how good he was in bed. It was great for his ego.

 

Martin laughed. “No woman I’ve ever been with has been able to do that.” He hesitated for a few seconds, a bit unsure. “Uhm, but what about you. Do you want me to…” his voice trailed off. He hadn’t even looked at the other man’s cock, let alone touched it, so he really wasn’t sure he was comfortable attempting a blowjob.

 

Rafael quickly reassured him. “Don’t worry; I’m not expecting you to return the favor. Maybe sometime if you want to, but you definitely don’t need to do that tonight. Your hand would be more than enough. Giving a blowjob always turns me on, so it won’t take much to get me off.”

 

Martin looked down and saw how distended Rafael’s boxers were, and ran a hand down the front, feeling the solid length of the cock underneath, before moving to the waistband to pull the underwear down. He looked at the erection as it was revealed, and realized it was pretty similar in size to his own. Surely if he did what he enjoyed, Rafael would like it too? He took it in his hand, and gave an experimental tug, before settling in a more comfortable position so he could kiss Rafael and jerk him off at the same time.

 

Rafael groaned. It had been far too long since he had felt any hand other than his own on his cock, and he hadn’t been exaggerating. He felt close to coming already. Martin set up a steady pace, getting quicker to meet Rafael’s hips when he started thrusting into the fist enclosing him.  Within a couple of minutes Rafael came, arching his back and opening his mouth in a silent scream.

 

Martin wiped his hand and Rafael’s belly with a couple of tissues while the other man recovered, then they kissed again. Rafael stroked a hand down Martin’s chest. “Thanks. That was great.”

 

“Are you sure? I mean, it was only a hand job, not a blowjob like you gave me. It must really suck having to break me in. I’m sure another man here would be able to give you much more.” Martin still felt uncomfortable not having given Rafael what he had gotten in return, and was sure that feeling would continue unless he quickly got used to doing more. Surely Rafael would lose patience with him.

 

Rafael laughed. “I like sucking, as you noticed.” He tugged Martin closer and kept them cuddled up together. “It’s not a competition and I’m not keeping score. Look, don’t assume all men hooking up here have intercourse. Many times it’s just hand jobs or blowjobs, or what we did last week. Most men here are after a one-night stand, no names exchanged, no personal information, and definitely no contact outside the club. I’ve had my share of that, but it leaves me dissatisfied at the end of the night, no matter how good the sex has been. I prefer something a bit more personal. I’m not saying I’m only looking for a relationship, although that would be my preference, but I like what we have started here. I’d like to keep meeting up with you, and chatting, and expanding your sexual comfort zone. Yes it will take time before you’re comfortable doing many things but that’s fine by me. I can be patient.”

 

Martin felt relieved, and also an overwhelming surge of affection for this man he was in bed with. Not only was he kind and patient and sexy, but also he was potentially looking for a relationship. Martin didn’t like to think what they were doing was a series of one-night stands, so was more comfortable considering it as the start of a potential relationship. He drew Rafael in for a long lingering kiss then pulled away. “Thanks. It’s good to know I’m not the only one enjoying this. I’m not keen on one-night stands either, and the idea of a relationship sounds good to me, if things keep going this well.” Martin was aware there was much they would need to settle before that could become a reality, bearing in mind they were both at the club because they needed to keep their sexual orientation secret. Neither of them knew why each other was there. There was time for that though. Martin was in no rush.

 

They cuddled for a while before they started to drift to sleep and realized that they really needed to leave. This was not a place where they could spend the night together, and they definitely weren’t ready for that either. So they chatted as they got dressed, then agreed to again meet up in a week’s time, but contact each other if there was any problem with that.

 

***

 

Monday morning saw Martin filling out multiple forms at SVU where he had been given a desk temporarily. Once he finished that, all the team met at the conference table where Olivia and Martin went through the evidence and leads they had on the pedophile ring. Olivia then assigned duties, sending Martin with Nick Amaro to the computer crimes division, TARU, to make sure they had received all the information that Martin had sent across, and also to see if they had found any further children with rose tattoos on their shoulders. Nick was friendly to Martin, and they chatted about sports when they got stuck in traffic on the way. They didn’t find any further leads there, but they were assured that they would be notified when any progress was made.

 

The next day Martin was working with Amanda Rollins who was just as easy to get along with. Martin was really enjoying working with new people who were equally dedicated to their jobs, but with whom he had no emotional connection, or past history. He felt lighter just being away from the missing person’s unit, even though they hadn’t made any progress on the case yet.

 

On Wednesday Martin met Fin, who up until then had been in court on a rape case. Martin shared how difficult it could be when a missing person turned up dead after they had spent days searching for them and finding out every intimate detail of their life. Fin explained how upsetting sexual abuse and rape cases could be, where the victim was so damaged, yet the only way they could often catch and convict the culprit was to make them go over what happened time and time again, often subjecting them to a vicious court battle in order for them to get justice. They both agreed their jobs were hard in different ways, even though they were both striving for justice and closure for the victims and their families.

 

By the end of the week, Martin had spent time with all the members of the SVU team, and liked them all. He had even met the medical examiner, Dr Warner. The only person he hadn’t yet met was their usual ADA, Barba, but he was still in court with the rape case, and until they found suspects to arrest, they didn’t need to contact him. Martin hoped they had a break in the case soon.

 

By the time Saturday night rolled around again, Martin was ready to meet Rafael and hopefully expand his comfort zone some more. He wanted to try giving him a blowjob, and had been thinking about what he enjoyed that had been done to him in the past. Martin had even tried a few things out on a banana he had eaten at home (although he felt a bit silly doing it), and had realized how little he could take in his mouth before his gag reflex kicked in. He knew he wouldn’t be able to deep throat Rafael. But still, he knew that he had enjoyed blowjobs in the past from women, none of whom had been able to do that. Sucking and licking plus maybe using his hand as well would probably be okay. He was looking forward to trying.

 

He made an effort to get there early this time, so he didn’t keep Rafael waiting again, and was sat at the bar having bought a drink for each of them when the other man arrived. Again, they quickly went to the back room and chatted for a while about hobbies and holidays before they started making out. This time Martin suggested they move to the bed and get undressed, and then stated his intention to try giving Rafael a blowjob.

 

Rafael grinned when Martin told him what he wanted to do. He told Martin he hadn’t had a blowjob in over a year, and that he was pretty confident that no matter what Martin did, he wouldn’t last long. Rafael reassured him that he would warn him before he came and that Martin didn’t need to feel he had to keep up the blowjob until the end, and he offered to wear a condom. Martin refused that, but did appreciate that Rafael was going to warn him. He didn’t think he could swallow, or would be comfortable with the other man coming in his mouth this first time.

 

Martin lay down between Rafael’s legs and looked steadily at the engorged organ he was planning to suck. It looked a lot bigger up close. He used his hand on the base and licked up the shaft before taking the head into his mouth. He took a deep breath and sucked, not trying to take any more in, as he knew from his experimenting at home that he wouldn’t be able to. Judging by Rafael’s reaction, he wouldn’t need to though. Rafael was groaning and fisting the bed covers very quickly, and obviously trying not to thrust his hips up and gag Martin.

 

Rafael was very aroused and thrilled with what Martin was doing. He had hoped that Martin might want to try this, but had tried to dampen down his expectations, in case he was disappointed. He had always loved the feelings that he got from being in a man’s mouth, and was enjoying the sensations Martin was giving him, from even this inexperienced blowjob. Rafael didn’t make any effort to try and hold back his orgasm, knowing that Martin would get a sore jaw if he tried to continue for too long, and so it was only a few minutes later that he put a hand on Martin’s shoulder and warned him that he was about to come. Martin pulled off and used his hand instead to finish Rafael off, and watched in fascination as the seed pumped out of him onto his trembling stomach and heaving chest.

 

Martin cleaned Rafael up, using a pack of wipes that he found by the condoms, then lay back down on the bed, waiting for Rafael to recover. He saw a patch of semen he had missed, and looked at it for a few seconds before he leant over and licked it up. He wanted to know what it tasted like first hand. Yes, he had kissed someone after they had given him a blowjob, including Rafael last week, but this was his first time to actually taste another man’s semen. He realized it wasn’t bad, and was pretty similar to how his own tasted, although obviously stronger from not being second hand. He looked up to see Rafael watching him with a contented smile on his face.

 

“It’s an acquired taste, but okay when you get used to it,” Rafael commented. He saw Martin color as he realized that Rafael had been watching him. “You did great. I can tell you’re a natural.”

 

Martin smiled, pleased at the praise. “Well, I think I’ll need a lot more practice, but that was better than I expected, and I enjoyed it.”

 

“You can practice on me any time you want. I’ll be your willing guinea-pig,” Rafael laughed. He felt great. But he could see that Martin was hard and needing relief too. He took the other man in his arms and kissed him, feeling Martin’s hips thrusting against his own. “So, what can I do for you? It’s your choice. I can give you a hand job, or a blowjob, or if you want to expand your experience even more tonight, you can fuck me.” Rafael was watching Martin’s face as he gave him these options, and he could see by the expanding of his pupils and the look of lust on his face that the third choice was appealing. Martin probably hadn’t expected that to be an option yet. 

 

Martin swallowed hard before answering. He had loved the blowjob last week, but the idea of getting to fuck Rafael was so tempting. But if he did that, would Rafael expect him to be willing to be the one bottoming next week?

 

As if he could read Martin’s mind, Rafael reassured him. “I enjoy bottoming so if you want to fuck me, you can do. I don’t expect you to be ready to do that for quite a while, and some men never want to do it, so there’s no pressure. I love it, and having just come, it would be easier for me to take you than otherwise because I’m relaxed, but I’m equally happy to use my hand or mouth.”

 

Martin didn’t trust himself to speak, and instead reached over to the bowl by the side of the bed which contained condoms, and also, when he looked inside, it had small tubes of lube. Rafael laughed as he understood Martin’s way of letting him know his decision, and picked out a tube of lube and removed the top.

 

“You pick out a condom and I’ll prepare myself for you. It’ll be quicker for me to do it this first time. How do you want me?” Martin looked a bit bewildered, so Rafael decided for him. “Pass me that pillow and we can do it face to face. I’d like to watch your face as you come inside me.” Rafael smirked as he saw the blush and the lust on Martin’s face at that comment.

 

Martin took off his boxers and squeezed the base of his cock hard before putting on the condom. He was feeling pretty close already, and couldn’t imagine how tight it would feel to actually fuck someone in the ass. He had never tried it with any woman, so he really didn’t know what to expect.

 

He sat back and watched Rafael as he spread his legs and moved one hand further back so he could reach his entrance. He watched the pleasure on his face as he stimulated himself there, and penetrated himself with one finger, then after a minute or two, added a second finger. Before too long, Rafael had three fingers inside himself and knew he was ready for Martin.

 

Rafael lay down and positioned the pillow beneath his hips so he was at the right angle, then Martin lay down on top of him. He wasn’t sure quite how to do this, but Rafael used his lube-covered hand to firstly coat the condom with lube, then positioned him so he was at the right place. Martin hesitated, but Rafael used his other hand on Martin’s lower back to encourage him. “That’s it, just push forward, gently. Go slowly and stop when you’re in so I can adjust. I haven’t done this for a long time,” Rafael murmured.

 

Martin did as he was told and felt the tightness expand to allow him entrance as he slowly pushed into the hot, tight hole. Martin stopped once he was fully in, with difficulty, wanting nothing more than to thrust again and again until he came. But he looked down to see that Rafael was looking uncomfortable and taking shallow breaths. Martin stayed still until he saw the look on Rafael’s face ease, and then he felt strong legs wrapping around his waist. Rafael used this leverage to pull Martin further in, and they started gently thrusting together, Martin keeping tight control until he was sure that Rafael was feeling pleasure, not pain.

 

Rafael kept moving position slightly on each thrust until he gasped, at which point Martin immediately stopped. “What’s the matter, what did I do?” he asked, worried he had hurt his partner.

 

Rafael opened up his eyes and smiled, before drawing Martin down into a sweet kiss. “You hit my prostate, you didn’t do anything wrong. It feels great when that happens. Try and aim in that direction each time. I won’t come again so soon, but it’s the next best thing.”

 

Martin did as he was told, and figured out by Rafael’s reaction where he was aiming for, and soon was hitting his prostate on each stroke. Watching the ecstatic look on his face was great for Martin, and it increased his own pleasure. The heat was the same as when he was making love to a woman, but the tightness was so much more, and it made it impossible for him to last as long as he wanted to.

 

He started to lose control, and tried to rein in his movements, not wanting to hurt Rafael, but found that he didn’t need to, and he was being encouraged to let go, both by actions and words. “Martin, that feels so good. Harder, faster, just let go. I want to see you come.” Martin couldn’t resist and did as he was told, gasping as he came hard inside Rafael.

 

Martin slumped down on top of the other man, no longer able to hold his weight, but Rafael just laughed before turning them both onto their sides. Martin recovered enough to withdraw and remove the condom before cuddling up to Rafael again. “Wow,” was all he could say.

 

“Yeah, I second that,” Rafael added, untangling his legs from Martin’s before he got cramp in them. He wasn’t as young as he used to be, nor as flexible. “So you’ve really expanded your repertoire tonight. Good on you. You can do that to me any time you want to. Not that you need the practice,” he grinned. He felt great. He hadn’t been fucked in a very long time and had forgotten how good it felt, even though he hadn’t been able to come again.

 

Martin was gazing adoringly at Rafael, not realizing how his emotions were showing on his face. He leaned forward and kissed him, not wanting to let him go. He needed to be careful; he was good at falling too fast for people. He hardly knew Rafael, and it was far too soon to be feeling so affectionate towards him. He definitely wanted to know him better though.  

 

Rafael watched the emotions play over Martin’s face, feeling at least some of the same feelings. He wanted to see Martin again. He wanted to spend time with him outside of the club, and really start to see if a relationship between them could work. But they had a lot to discuss before they could get to that point.

 

“There’s a restaurant upstairs that club members often use. Do you fancy meeting up earlier next Saturday and having dinner with me? We can talk and maybe figure out where we want to go from here?” Rafael asked Martin. He knew that he was likely to need to work late most nights this week, so didn’t want to make an arrangement and need to cancel it, but Saturday night should be okay. It would give him and Martin time to consider where they might want their relationship to go.

 

Martin sighed in relief. “That sounds perfect to me. It's a date.” He leaned in and they gave each other a lingering kiss before they parted to get dressed and leave.


	3. Chapter 3

The next week they had a breakthrough in the case, thanks to Martin and the computer techs cracking the money trail. They managed to identify a pedophile that had paid for sex with one of the girls, as he had not used a secure internet connection and had paid using a credit card in his name. They applied pressure to him until he cracked and accepted a deal in exchange for information about the place he had met the girl and the men he had seen. The information he supplied gave them just the opening they needed, and the SVU team with Martin raided the warehouse the girls were being kept at. They caught two men who were uploading videos, and found two teenagers in a separate room in cages. They both had roses tattooed on their shoulders.

 

By Friday the men they had in custody were being interviewed, and the victims were in the hospital, with their families notified. It was a long day, with all the members of the squad and Martin involved. The whole place was a hive of activity until the evening. There was still work to do to shut down the ring, but they were making great progress.

 

Martin came out of the room where he and Fin had been interviewing just as Olivia came out of Cragen’s office with a man in a suit. From where Martin was standing, he couldn’t see the man’s face, but he could hear his voice, and he recognized it. He stopped dead, and Fin looked round at him, before beckoning him forward. “Come on, it’s about time you met our ADA. He’ll be prosecuting the case, so you’ll be working with him.”

 

Martin plastered a smile on his face, knowing there was no way he could avoid this. He had only ever heard the ADA referred to as ‘Barba’, so hadn’t realized his first name was Rafael, or been in any position to connect the dots. He just hoped that Rafael would be able to keep a straight face and not give them away when he spotted Martin.

 

Fin moved forward, calling out “Counsellor, I want you to meet Martin Fitzgerald, the FBI agent on loan to us for this case. Martin, this is ADA Rafael Barba.” Rafael turned and caught sight of Martin and stopped in his tracks.

 

Martin took a deep breath as he stepped forward and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you Counselor; I’ve heard good things about you. I’m happy I’ve been able to help out on this case.” By this point Rafael had recovered enough to continue the charade, taking Martin’s hand and shaking it, then smiling.

 

“Nice to meet you too, Agent Fitzgerald. I’ve heard nothing but great reports about your work on this case from Sgt Benson.” Rafael stopped talking when he heard a beep from his phone. He checked it, and then told them all, “I’ve got to go, I need to update the DA on our progress so far, but I’ll see you all on Monday as we go through the case so far.” Rafael nodded at the whole group before heading out of the precinct.  

 

When Rafael got to his car, he threw his briefcase into the front passenger seat then slammed the door, before leaning against the car with both hands resting on the roof and his head down. He carried on breathing deeply to try and calm himself down. He couldn’t believe his private life had intersected work like this. He had been so looking forward to the next night and dinner with Martin. No doubt they would then have discovered who they both were, but it coming out in the middle of the precinct like that was awful. Luckily he thought both of them had managed to cover up well enough that Olivia and Fin wouldn’t have noticed anything strange about their reactions, but who knew? They were detectives after all.

 

Once Rafael was suitably calmed down, he rang the DA to give him an update, and then made an appointment to see him early Monday morning. He knew that with Martin being quite a big part of the case against this pedophile ring, there was a conflict of interest now, and wanted to make sure there was no way these scumbags would get off because of what had happened between them. In the meantime, he would need to speak to Martin and stop things. There was no way they could continue what was happening between them until this case was settled or another ADA had been assigned to work it. He sent a message to Martin using the phone number Martin had given him. It was short and to the point. ‘Let me know when you are free. We need to talk.’

 

It was nearly an hour later before he got a reply from Martin, who texted him back. ‘Just finished. When and where?’

 

Rafael had been waiting at the club and watching his phone so replied immediately. ‘Usual place, now?’

 

The reply back was pretty instantaneous. ‘See you soon’.

 

Martin arrived 15 minutes later and looked round to find Rafael sat at one of the tables in the back with two glasses of whiskey. He joined him and Rafael gave him one of the glasses. Martin thanked him and took a couple of sips as he sat down; after the way the evening had gone, he needed a drink to get through this conversation.

 

Rafael and Martin looked at each other before Rafael spoke. “Well, I wasn’t expecting that. I had been told that an Agent Fitzgerald from the FBI was helping SVU with the case, but I didn’t know more than that. I’m not even sure I was told your first name.”

 

“Same here,” Martin responded. “I had heard about you, but you were always referred to as the ADA, or Barba, or Counselor. I don’t think anyone ever mentioned your first name until Fin did tonight. But by that point I’d already recognized your voice.”

 

“So what now?” Martin asked. He was pretty sure whatever they had happening between them would have to stop, but he didn’t want it to.

 

Rafael sighed. “Obviously there is a conflict of interest if you are testifying and I’m prosecuting, and we can’t risk the trial or any potential appeal because of our relationship, so we need to disclose. We also can’t continue to see each other as things are now.”

 

Martin looked at him. “I guessed that. We’ve got to get these men and I have no problem doing whatever we need to do in order to make sure they have no chance of appeal. I can’t say I’m happy about this though. I was really looking forward to tomorrow night, and hoping we could progress things outside this place.”

 

“Me too. I definitely want to move things forward with us, but with this hanging over us, we can’t.” He laughed, but there was no humor in his voice. “It’s ironic really; we came here so no-one would know who we were, and we trip over each other in our work lives. But I am still not sure why you are here. Yes you’re an FBI agent and they aren’t the most progressive organization, but even so, I would have thought you could have an open life without repercussions.”

 

It was Martin’s turn to laugh. “I’m not here because of who I am. My dad is Deputy Director. If anyone knew about me, it could impact on him.”

 

Rafael thought for a minute. “Victor Fitzgerald is your dad?” Martin nodded before taking another sip of his drink. “I’ve come across him. I can imagine it would be… difficult… to have him as your father.”

 

Martin sighed. “You have no idea. Nothing I do is ever good enough for the Fitzgerald name. Just joining the FBI was probably a mistake, as it’s given him more power over my life, but it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. He interferes in my life at every opportunity and is critical as hell. I’m expected to marry a suitable woman from upper society.” Rafael winced at that. He could now see why Martin had denied his sexuality for so long.

 

“My dad used to abuse me and my mom, but left when I was young. He was out of our lives after that and died 15 years ago. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in your shoes.”

 

They both fell silent after that, lost in their thoughts. Martin looked up to see Rafael watching him, and he could interpret the look on his face as a mixture of desire and disappointment. “I suppose while we are here we can’t make a trip to the back?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

 

Rafael smiled. “I wish we could, I really do. But we need to do the right thing.” He took a last swig of his drink, emptying the remaining whiskey in the glass. “I’ve got an appointment with the DA first thing on Monday morning. I’ll disclose our involvement to him and see what he suggests we do for the best with the case and let you know. Other than that, no doubt I’ll see you at the precinct on Monday. We need to keep things professional for now. But I hope when this case is over, we will be able to revisit things, and maybe move things forward.” Rafael knew he sounded wistful and the last comment was more of a question than a statement.

 

Martin obviously took it that way. “I hope so. It’s what I want too.” With one last lingering look at each other, Rafael stood up and left, not looking back. He didn’t trust himself as he knew if he did look round at Martin, he would be lost. He hadn’t felt this strongly for anyone in years. Why did work have to get in the way? It had ruined so many things in his life. He didn’t want it to stop what he and Martin had too.

 

***

 

The weekend saw Rafael working from home on the case. The sooner it was over, the sooner he and Martin could move forward with their personal lives. Now he had the prospect of one, he wanted to get to it as soon as possible. He didn’t want Martin to change his mind, or find someone else. The reason Martin had gone to the club in the first place was to keep things under the radar. It would be so much easier for him to find someone else to get involved in. Rafael wasn’t convinced their few meetings in the club were a strong enough basis for what they may have to go through because of it. He couldn’t blame Martin if he wanted to call it quits and walk away from any personal involvement with him.

 

He realized he was being a bit paranoid here, but he was also conscious that their very private life was about to become more public. He had never told anyone at work that he was gay, and now he was about to come out to his boss. Not really what he wanted to do, and it was likely that the DA wouldn’t be the only one who would need to know about it. It was unlikely, but possible that it could come out at trial, which was the last thing he or Martin wanted.

 

He also did do a bit of investigating of his own, about Martin and his dad. He found the reports of the shooting that had nearly cost Martin his life, but there wasn’t much more about him, baring a few mentions in write-ups about trials he had testified at. His father on the other hand was easy to find information about, and what he saw only backed up what knowledge he already had about the Deputy Director.

 

Rafael also looked up to see if there was any publicity about FBI agents who had come out. What he found out didn’t reassure him much. Although officially the FBI didn’t discriminate on the basis of sexuality, the only members of the FBI who were openly gay didn’t progress very far in the organization, and there were some very public cases where agents had been found out and compromised. Victor Fitzgerald had never had any involvement with any agents who were found out to be gay though, that Rafael could find, and he had never made any public statements about homosexuality. That didn’t mean he didn’t have a problem with it though, and the impression Rafael had gotten from Martin was that his dad would not be accepting of him coming out. That was up to Martin though. All Rafael could do was keep things as quiet as he could.

 

Martin was similarly looking up Rafael. There were plenty of articles and clips on the Internet mentioning him, although nothing about his personal life. He had recently been attacked over the prosecution of the mayoral candidate who had been his childhood friend, and Martin realized what a hard time he had been having recently over this. He could see that if their involvement came out as a result of the trial, it wouldn’t be kept quiet, but would likely be in the papers. It was not what either of them wanted and he could imagine his dad would have a fit.

 

He decided to be preemptive, and as he now had no plans for the weekend, he took a trip to Washington and had dinner with his mom. Luckily his dad was out of town at a conference, so he didn’t have to deal with him. His mom realized that Martin had something on his mind, and questioned him about it. After a few drinks to fortify himself, Martin opened up to her.

 

“After I was shot, I started to re-evaluate my life. I realized that although I like women and have had quite a few relationships, none of them have been serious enough for me to consider taking the next step. I think that is because I was trying to please you and dad, and not really look for what I wanted in terms of a partner.”

 

“So what do you want?” Martin’s mom asked. She had known that Martin wasn’t really happy, and although she wasn’t looking forward to where this conversation might be going, she had come close to losing Martin, and was just grateful he was alive. No longer would she make judgements about his life.

 

Martin smiled. “Recently, I’ve started seeing someone. It’s really early days, but I think this relationship has great potential.”

 

“I’m happy for you, but I don’t understand. What’s the problem?” she asked.

 

Martin took a gulp of his drink for courage before continuing. He looked her in the eye so he could see her reaction. “It’s a man.”

 

Helena Fitzgerald took a deep breath in and looked at her son. He looked scared of her reaction, and she realized how difficult this had been for him. She got up from her chair and crossed the room to where he was sitting on the sofa, and sat next to him. With one hand he cupped his cheek and smiled. “It took a lot of guts to tell me that, and I’m glad you have done. Martin, I’m not denying that at one time all I wanted was for you to meet a lovely woman and fall in love. But it is your life, and I just want you to be happy. If being with this man is what you want, then I can accept that, and him, in your life. I love you Martin.”

 

She could see the relief on his face, and he pulled her into a hug. “I love you too, mom.”

 

They pulled away from each other quite quickly, not used to emotional displays like this. Martin laughed. “That went better than I expected. But I bet dad won’t take it so well.”

 

Helena sighed. “No, your dad is still a bit more…traditional in his thinking. Plus he will be worried about what it will mean for your career. But he will come to accept it too, if you give him time. So, tell me about him.”

 

Martin wasn’t sure how much he wanted to reveal, but had to give her something. “His name is Rafael. We both spend a lot of time at work, and don’t have that much free time, but we have a lot in common. He’s kind and patient, and we just seemed to click. We met at a club, and have seen each other a few times. He is involved in the case I’m working on though, which is a complication.”

 

She could see the happiness in his eyes as he thought about this man. “So, is he a detective or an agent then? I am assuming he’s not one of the criminals!”

 

Martin laughed. “Actually he’s a lawyer. I’m one of the witnesses, so we’ve got to wait until the trial is over until we see each other again, other than professionally.”

 

Martin turned the conversation back to what he was concerned about. “There is a small chance that our involvement may come out, as a result of this trial. I don’t really want to have a discussion with dad about this until I know better where our relationship is going, but on the other hand, if it does become known, it would be better for him to hear it from me rather than a reporter.”

 

Helena agreed. “Yes, he would definitely be better knowing before any press got hold of it. I dread to think his reaction if he was confronted in an interview about it without knowing first. I can speak to him though, if you would like me to?”

 

Martin knew it was the coward’s way out to let his mom do the dirty work for him, but was willing to take it. He hated confrontations with his dad at the best of times, and shocking him with this news was quite likely to result in them both saying things they would later regret. Much better to give his dad chance to get used to the idea before he spoke to him. “Would you? That would be great, thanks.” Martin gave his mom a relieved smile. “It’s not that I can’t tell him myself, but…”

 

Helena held up a hand. “I know. He isn’t likely to react well so it would be much better if he gets chance to calm down a bit and get used to the idea before he speaks to you. Don’t worry, I know what he can be like. I did marry him, after all!” She laid a hand on Martin’s arm. “I’m just glad you’ve found someone. I don’t like to think of you alone.”

 

Martin smiled at her again. His relationship with his mom had gotten much closer since his shooting, and she was very supportive of him in a way she hadn’t been before. He was glad to see that even this revelation about him had been accepted by her.

 

***

 

Monday morning saw Rafael nervously waiting outside the DA’s office at 8am. Jack McCoy arrived a couple of minutes later and waved him in and his secretary brought them both coffees before shutting the door behind her. “So, what’s the reason for this visit Rafael? You filled me in on the case on Friday, so it can’t be that.”

 

“Actually it is, in a way,” Rafael started. “I need to disclose an involvement I have with one of the witnesses to you. I discovered this on Friday but wanted to tell you in person.”

 

“Okay, so who is this witness, and what is the nature of your involvement?” Jack was a bit confused.

 

“His name is Martin Fitzgerald, and he’s an FBI agent that has been working with SVU on this case for the last few weeks. He was the one who made the initial link between a case the FBI were investigating and previous cases of the FBI and SVU. He’s done quite a bit of the computing and accounting work, and also was in on the bust and took part in some interviews. He’s quite an important witness.” Rafael went silent, and looked down. Now for the difficult part.

 

Jack realized the value of silence and just continued to watch Rafael, waiting to hear in what way they were involved. He had his suspicions, but needed to hear it from his ADA.

 

Rafael eventually looked up, realizing Jack was waiting for him to continue. “We met a few weeks ago at a discrete mens club, and have been seeing each other since.”

 

“As in a romantic relationship, or has it just been a physical thing,” Jack wanted to know. He had suspected Rafael was gay, and personally had no problem with that, but could see that this may affect the trial.

 

Rafael grimaced. “It started out physical, but it has turned more romantic as we spent more time with each other.”

 

“But you didn’t realize you were both involved in this case?”

 

“No. We didn’t discuss work and didn’t know each other’s last names, so it was only when I bumped into him at the SVU precinct on Friday that we realized who each other was. We have agreed to stop seeing each other until after this case is resolved, but I had to disclose it to you as however unlikely, it is possible someone could find out something about us and use it.”

 

Jack sighed. This was the last thing he wanted. Rafael was a great ADA and had done all the work on this case up to now. If he replaced him, it wouldn’t look good, and it would also give rise to questions, and cause a delay while another lawyer got up to speed. On the other hand, if Rafael continued but this did come out, then it would be grounds for appeal or get testimony thrown out at the trial. “Okay, well at least you’ve told me so we can do something now.”

 

He thought for a minute. “It’s a big case which could potentially get bigger if the leads SVU are following pan out. How about I assign a second ADA to work with you on this? Alex Cabot has just finished one trial so would be free to help out. She could prepare Agent Fitzgerald and be the one to deal with his testimony.

We also need to make sure that all his work on the case has a second source where possible. Get a computer forensics expert and accountant to go through his work and verify it. I’m sure he was working with one of the SVU detectives during the bust and interviews. Make sure to use them on the stand too. That way, worst case scenario and his testimony gets kicked out, we can still use the information.”

 

Rafael nodded, very relieved that Jack wasn’t going to give him a hard time. He had known Alex Cabot for years and could work with her. He also knew that if he was taken off the case, questions would be asked about whether the DA’s office had lost faith in him after the bad press of the Muñoz trial.  He stood to leave. “Thanks Jack.”

 

“Rafael,” Jack called after him as he was about to open the office door. “Thanks for being honest with me and disclosing. You’ve always kept your private life away from this office, so I realize this must have been difficult for you. You should tell Alex so she is prepared in case the shit does hit the fan. I won’t tell anyone though.”

 

Rafael looked round and smiled gratefully at him before leaving. His next stop was the SVU precinct for their briefing. A thrill went through him as he thought about seeing Martin again, even if it was for the case. He really did have it bad for him!

 

***

 

Rafael was the last person to get to the meeting. The SVU squad were all sat around the conference table, looking at the white board with the information and lines linking the pictures of the suspects, and discussing what the next steps were. Luckily he was up to date with the case so didn’t have to concentrate too much, as his focus was on Martin, sat on the opposite side of the table. Martin’s focus didn’t seem to be on the case either, as he kept taking sideways looks at Rafael, with a shy smile on his face.

 

Olivia was going through the case so everyone was up to speed on the progress so far. What they knew was that teenagers were being abducted by unknown suspects, who were then selling them off. One of the local prostitution rings had purchased some of these girls, marked them with their brand, the rose tattoo, and then put them to work, starting with photos and videos, and moving on to selling their services. If the girls didn’t co-operate, they were killed.

 

At first they had thought that this was the only group involved, but not only was there no evidence that they had taken part in the abductions, but the girls had confirmed this too. One group had taken them, and then they had been sold to the prostitution ring. The local prostitution ring had been shut down, with the suspects under arrest, and the girls rescued, but they wanted the whole ring, not just this arm of it.

 

So they were trying to figure out how to trace back from the purchasers to the group who were snatching the girls in the first place. If they could stop the abductions, the whole business would collapse like a house of cards. Another factor was that the group they had arrested was only purchasing some of the girls. There were other girls out there that needed rescuing, and other groups buying these girls who needed stopping. This had the potential to be a huge case, depending how many suspects they could trace.

 

But although the suspects had been told that the first one of them to offer up information leading to the arrest of the abductors would get a favourable deal, no-one was talking. They weren’t sure if that was because none of them actually knew anything, or if they were more scared of this group than they were of the police. Unless one of them changed their minds, the only way to get any further was to crack the computer trail.

 

TARU were on to that, but having no luck so far, Martin and Fin were assigned to go and talk to some known hackers who were in jail, and offer them time off their sentence if they could help them catch the abductors. Amanda and Olivia were going to the hospital to re-interview the girls, this time for information on their abduction, rather than on the group that had been holding them and had tattooed them. Nick was going to keep working on the suspects they already had in custody. Now they had spent a weekend in Rikers, they may be more amenable to talking. They would meet back up at the end of the day.

 

Rafael spoke up before the meeting broke up, explaining that he had just met with the DA who had agreed that as it was an important trial, and had the potential to get much bigger, depending how many suspects they managed to link to the ring, he was drafting in ADA Alexandra Cabot to assist him. He would be meeting with her and they would divide the workload between them. They were also going to bring in some more experts to make sure that all information that had been gathered would have more than one source. They wanted to make sure that there were no possibilities of appeals or chances of losing information if there was a problem with any one witness.

 

He tried not to look at Martin too much as he said this, but he got a very subtle nod from him. Martin had figured out that this duplication of sources and another ADA was due to Rafael disclosing to the DA. As they all separated to go about their assigned tasks, Rafael and Martin shared a quick look. They knew they wouldn’t be able to talk to each other, unfortunately. They had to stay professional.

 

***

 

When Rafael got to his office, he found out from his secretary that ADA Alex Cabot was on her way. ‘That was quick’ he thought, realizing that Jack must have contacted her about the case. Now he had to disclose to someone else. He sighed and got himself another coffee. It was going to be a long morning.

 

Alex arrived and helped herself to a coffee before joining Rafael at the conference table in his office. He was surrounded by files on the various suspects in the case, so after they had said hello and made small-talk for a couple of minutes, he went through the case with her so she knew where they were and what progress he’d made so far.

 

When he finished, she sat and looked at him without saying anything. Rafael realized something was up, so stopped what he was doing and looked at her. “So Rafael, are you going to tell me why I’m really here? I know this is a big case, but it’s nothing you can’t handle alone, so I’m a bit mystified as to why Jack’s drafted me in to hold your hand.”

 

Rafael looked down and took another sip of his drink. He knew he would have to explain this to Alex, but he was still very uncomfortable with anyone at work knowing his personal business.

 

“I’ve got a personal involvement with one of the witnesses, so to make sure that there can be no grounds for appeal or suspicion of bias, he wanted to make sure all the work we’re doing is overseen. So you’ll be doing all the work with the witness from now until the end of the trial. It would just look suspicious if he took me off the case at this point, which I assume is why he hasn’t done that, so adding you is the best option.” Rafael watched her reaction to this, but she had her poker face on, and he couldn’t tell anything from her expression.

 

“Okay,” she said slowly. “Who’s the witness? And what’s your involvement?”

 

Rafael winced. This was the bit he wasn’t looking forward to. “Special Agent Fitzgerald of the FBI. We had started a…romantic…involvement when we discovered we were both working this case.”

 

Alex smiled. She had always suspected Rafael was gay but now he had confirmed it. “So when did you make this discovery?”

 

“Friday night.”

 

“Really? That late? Agent Fitzgerald’s been working with SVU for a few weeks now, from what the timeline here says, but you didn’t know that, and he didn’t know you were the ADA for SVU?” She knew she was fishing, but unlike Jack, she had no qualms about pushing Rafael’s buttons and giving him a hard time.

 

Rafael flushed. “Our relationship didn’t involve discussions of work.”

 

“Ahh. Just sex then was it?” She teased Rafael, realizing he was getting embarrassed.

 

He looked away. This is what he had dreaded. He didn’t answer, hoping she would take pity on him and drop the subject.

 

Alex realized how uncomfortable she was making him, and decided to go easy on him, for now. She wanted him to be sure that she wasn’t homophobic. They were going to be working together very closely for some time, so she was sure she would be able to get more digs in later to tease him. She put a hand on his arm, and when he looked up at her and finally met her eyes, she smiled. “I’m just teasing you. I’ve had no time for a social life for months with the recent cases I’ve been working, so I’m jealous. It’s great if you’ve met someone, although obviously bad timing with this case. I’m sure we can work together and get through this trial, put the bad guys away, then you can get back to having a personal life again.”

 

Rafael let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, and felt his shoulders relax. He hadn’t realized how tense he’d gotten during this conversation. “Thanks Alex,” he smiled back at her.

 

“Can I just check, so I know the score; who else knows about you and – “she looked down at the notes in front of her “- Martin? Obviously you disclosed to Jack, but does anyone else know?”

 

Rafael shook his head. “No. As you know, I don’t discuss my personal life at work, so there’s only you and Jack that know.”

 

Alex snorted. “No kidding. The betting pool has quite a sum on whether you are gay or not, but no one has been able to find any proof either way. You’re very good at keeping your work and social life apart. It’s just a shame I won’t be able to win the bet. I could use it for a spa weekend.”

 

Rafael’s eyebrows shot up and he looked shocked. “You’re having me on?” As he saw no sign of her admitting she was joking, he realized she was being serious. “Well, if it looks like this is going to come out during this trial, I’ll let you win that bet, as long as you share the winnings with me. By the time this trial is over, I bet Martin and I could do with a weekend away too.”

 

Alex laughed. “Deal! Okay, so let’s figure out where to start with this, and divide up the workload between us. Hopefully with us both on this case it won’t be too hard on either of us. I’m sick of working late every evening and most of the weekends.”

 

“Yes, I definitely know that feeling,” Rafael agreed, before they got back down to work.

 

***

“So ADA Cabot is going to be working this case as well,” Martin quizzed Fin as they drove to Rikers. “I got the impression that you’ve worked with her before. What’s she like?” Martin knew that he would be working exclusively with her, not with Rafael so was curious. He suspected she would also be told of their relationship, and wanted to try and get a feel as to whether she was likely to be accepting of it.

 

“She’s great. A very good lawyer who’s worked with us many times before. She was our main ADA about 11 years ago now, but she ended up being threatened as part of a case and had to go into witness protection for a year or so. She has worked with us again, but only intermittently.” Fin filled Martin in. He was pleased that Alex would be working with them again, although curious as to why the DA had assigned two lawyers. It was pretty unusual. He said this to Martin.

 

“Well, if we do manage to bust open the abduction ring, there will be a lot more criminals to prosecute, so I suppose having two ADAs working it from the start would save time. Let’s just hope we do manage to do that. I hate to think of more girls out there, going through God knows what.”

 

Fin agreed. “Yes. Some guys spend all day looking at pedophile sites, trying to identify places and children. I couldn’t do it. Way too depressing, to know how many of them are out there that we can’t get to. Even in the cases where we do rescue them, mostly they are so damaged that they never recover. Many turn to alcohol or drugs, or even commit suicide. Still more stay as prostitutes as they don’t know any other life.”

 

“Very depressing,” Martin agreed. He wanted to change the subject to something more cheerful. “So, what about you? What do you do outside work to take your mind off it? Do you have a family?”

 

Fin smiled. “It’s difficult to maintain a family with this job. I’m divorced, but I do have a son. He’s recently gotten married to his partner and so I see them a bit. It’s good to know that what I’m doing helps make New York a safer place for them to live. I like video games and enjoy beating up and killing people in the games, the way I’d like to do some of the scum bags we come into contact with, but can’t.”

 

Martin laughed. “That’s a good release of tension. I tend to go to the gym or go running to get rid of excess energy. I’ve never been married though and have no children. It must be nice to have a son and see him settle down, and maybe you will have grandchildren someday too. Family continuity can be good. I’m close to my cousins who have children, but I think that will be the closest I get.”

 

Fin looked at him, deciding how much to say. “Grandchildren aren’t on the cards for me. My son is gay.”

 

Martin looked round, surprised. “Oh. Well more and more gay couples are adopting or using surrogates, so it’s still possible. I think it’s great that things are changing and there is more acceptance of different lifestyles. You must see that a lot with SVU, more than we do at the FBI.”

 

Fin relaxed, realizing that Martin wasn’t homophobic. They carried on discussing the ways that things had changed for the LGBT communities in recent years, without Fin realizing that Martin had relaxed too, as he now knew that Fin would be accepting of not only him, but Rafael too, should their relationship come out.

 

***

 

When the SVU team met up again for a case meeting a couple of days later, Alex Cabot joined them this time too. After greeting the members of the SVU team warmly and introducing herself to Martin, she sat down next to Rafael and they listened to what progress had been made. Olivia and Amanda had managed to get some more information from one of the girls, who remembered some details about a van that she was thrown into when she had been abducted, and three of the girls had given details of the boys they supposedly had been meeting when they were abducted. This gave them some leads to work on.

 

Fin told the group that two of the hackers they had spoken to had agreed to help try and break through the dark web and get information, in exchange for more favourable accommodation, so TARU were working with them, and monitoring them to make sure they didn’t do anything they shouldn’t be doing while they had computer and internet access. Nick had spoken to half the suspects, but suspected they didn’t know anything much about the ring they had purchased the girls from, so it looked unlikely they would get very far with that. He wasn’t so sure about the ringleader though, who he was planning to see again in the morning. Olivia decided to join him with that, now she had finished with the interviews with the victims. Martin and Fin were going to follow the lead with the van and see if that led anywhere.

 

When Alex headed out with Rafael, she spotted Martin and him sharing a look before they went their separate ways. She had been watching them both during the meeting and seen nothing but professionalism from them. She decided to have a bit more fun with Rafael. “Wow, I can’t fault your taste in men. Martin is gorgeous. It’s a shame he likes men not women, or I would have to fight you for him.”

 

Rafael laughed, by now feeling much more comfortable with her teasing. “Actually, all his past relationships have been with women. He’s only now changed sides.”

 

“Ooh, so you’re corrupting him are you?!”

 

Rafael colored. He wished he could stop doing that. “Not at the moment I’m not. But I hope to continue to do so once this damned trial is out of the way.” He smiled as he thought about what he and Martin had already done and what his hopes were for the future.

 

Alex laughed as they got into his car and headed back to Hogan Place.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Nick sighed as he put down the phone. Martin looked up at him questioningly. “Barba says he needs the up to date reports. Just as I was getting somewhere with this,” Nick commented under his breath.   

 

Martin smiled at him. “I don’t mind going. I could do with a walk and some fresh air instead of sitting staring at this screen all day.”

 

Nick smiled gratefully and passed the file to Martin who put on his coat. “Do you know where you’re going?”

 

“Hogan Place. I assume I should be able to get directions to Barba’s office once I’m in the building,” Martin answered.

 

“Yeah, it’s not too difficult to find. See you later.”

 

Martin headed out and walked to the ADA’s office, looking forward to seeing him. They hadn’t seen each other since Wednesday and it was now Friday, so even though this would be a professional visit, he would take what he could get.

 

He found the office without difficulty, and knocked on the door, hearing Rafael’s immediate “come in.” He walked in and saw Rafael with Alex sat at a conference table, with legal pads in front of them and a pile of files.

 

“Hi. I brought the files you wanted,” Martin said with a smile.

 

“How did you get stuck with the messenger job?” Rafael asked with a grin when he saw who had just walked in.  

 

“I volunteered,” Martin replied. “I needed a break from staring at a computer screen all day.”

 

Alex had watched this with interest, not having seem them interact before. “Sit down, have a coffee before you head back out. I wanted to check a few things with you anyway, so I might as well do it now.” She smiled and gestured towards the coffee pot then got up from the table. “I just need to pick up my notes from my office. I’ll be back in 5 minutes.” She smirked at both men then walked out of the office, closing the door behind her.

 

Rafael immediately got up and went up to Martin, putting his arms around him. Martin tensed up and stepped back. “What are you doing? We can’t do this here!” He looked around the empty room, almost as if he expected someone to jump out, but they were alone, and even the blinds were drawn over the windows to the other offices.

 

“Of course we can. Why do you think she’s left us alone? Knowing Alex she will be exactly 5 minutes too, so we have time.” Rafael looked into Martin’s eyes, and tugged him forward again. This time Martin didn’t resist. Rafael leaned in further for a kiss that started chaste, but quickly changed to passionate.

 

Rafael wrenched back from Martin with a groan. “Okay, so we don’t have time for where that was going.” He was breathing heavily and could see Martin’s eyes had darkened in arousal, as no doubt his own had. He cupped his hand around Martin’s face, caressing his cheek. “I’ve missed you. It’s crazy, as we’ve only been together a few times, and that was only once a week, but it seems like now I know who you are and where you are, that I miss you more.”

 

Martin took a deep breath in, smelling the lingering traces of Rafael’s cologne, which wasn’t helping dampen down his arousal. “I’ve missed you too. I was so pleased when I had an excuse to come here. It’s felt like forever since I last saw you.”

 

They leaned closer and kissed again, their bodies pressed together so both men could feel their arousals brushing each other. They pulled apart reluctantly to breathe, and Martin pressed his forehead against Rafael’s. “I hate this; that we have to stay apart while this trial is going on. I can’t believe that a month ago I’d never even kissed a man, and only been with women, but now I really want a relationship with you. Hell, I’ve even come out to my mom. My life has completely changed.”

 

“What – you’ve come out to your mom! When did you do that? What did you tell her?” Rafael was astounded that Martin had done this.

 

Martin stepped away from Rafael, a bit embarrassed that he had said so much, and poured himself a coffee. “Last weekend I went to see her, and told her that I had met someone I was starting a relationship with, and that it was a man.” He glanced around at Rafael, and saw the surprise on his face.

 

“Wow. How did she take it?” Rafael asked, a bit concerned, as he knew that Martin’s dad wouldn’t take it well, but wasn’t sure about his mom.

 

“She was great. Since I got shot, she’s been very accepting of my decisions about my life. She just wants me to be happy. She even said she would speak to my dad.” Martin looked at Rafael, and sighed. “I had to say something. I know it’s unlikely that anything will come out about us, but it could happen. If it does, my dad will be the first one the press tries to get a reaction from, in front of the cameras. I can’t let him be ambushed like that. He has to know just in case.”

 

Rafael nodded. “You’re right. I hope he takes it okay, for your sake.”

 

Martin laughed. “Oh, believe me, he won’t, but at least this way he will be in a different city when he finds out about it, and hopefully will have chance to calm down before he next sees me. Even if not, he will know and be able to make politically correct noises in front of the press if it comes to that. He would never forgive me for letting him be ambushed, but he might forgive me for sleeping with a man, eventually.”

 

“It must be so hard, not being accepted by your own family. I’m sorry you have to go through all this, and I hope I can make it worth it for you, when we can actually start spending time with each other again.” Rafael smiled at Martin, who could see the affection in his eyes. He returned the look.

 

“Me too. I have lots of ideas how you can do that. I’ve got a very vivid imagination.” Martin’s smile took a lustful turn.  

 

Rafael laughed. “Good. I can’t wait. Believe me; I’m going to be very happy to tick off all your ideas, one by one.”

 

Just then they heard a knock at the door before Alex opened it slowly and walked back in, with a file in her hand. “Got it. So, are you ready to get started?” She looked carefully at both men as they sat down at the table. She could see both their lips were swollen, and Martin looked embarrassed, and surmised that they had taken advantage of the time she had left them alone. She wished she had been a fly on the wall. Two attractive men together was a nice thought!

 

“As a major witness that we don’t know much about, from a testimony point of view at least,” she glanced at Rafael, who smirked back at her, “I thought it would be a good idea to speak to you to find out if there are any skeletons in the closet that could come out and bite us at trial. I know you’ve testified before, but if this bust ends up being as big as we think it could be, there are likely to be some pretty powerful men behind it, who are likely to dig up anything they can to discredit the witnesses. I just want to be prepared.”

 

Martin nodded. “Good idea. Skeletons in the closet – well, I assume you mean other than the big one that we’re not talking about,” he commented, glancing at Rafael before looking back at Alex. He thought one of them needed to acknowledge it, and neither of the other two seemed to be doing that.

 

Alex laughed and leaned back in her chair. “Yes, other than that one. I think the general idea is to keep that one in the closet until the trial is concluded, isn’t it gentlemen?”

 

“Yes it is,” Rafael replied, “although we are taking steps to mitigate any damage should it come out, aren’t we? After all, that’s why you’re on the case in the first place.” He looked away from Alex and to Martin. “Jack has also asked us to make sure that you are not the sole witness for anything, so should your testimony become compromised, none of the evidence is lost. So we will make sure that the detectives you’ve worked with give evidence, and also another computer expert verifies the evidence trail you discovered etc.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” Martin agreed.

 

Alex persisted “So apart from your potential…involvement with Rafael coming out, is there anything else I need to know about that the defense could bring up in order to discredit you?”

 

Martin sighed. He wished he didn’t need to say anything, and even more so that he could have told Rafael in the right way, at the right time, but that wasn’t an option now. “I was shot 4 years ago on the job and nearly died. After I got back to work I injured my hip, trying to take down a suspect. I had taken too much sick time as it was, so was determined to stay at work. I increased my painkillers in order to do that, and became addicted to them. Taking them ended up being less about relieving the pain and more about just making it through the day. Some close friends helped me realize what I was doing to myself and got me help. I went to NA and have been on the program ever since. I’ve been clean for 3 years 3 months and 4 days. It isn’t documented anywhere apart from my medical records, and it has never been an issue or on file at work, so there is no reason for it to come out or for it to be used against me, but you should know, just in case.”

 

Martin finished speaking and took a sip of his coffee, then looked down at his mug. He was embarrassed and didn’t want to meet Rafael’s eyes, and potentially see disappointment or rejection there.

 

Alex glanced at Rafael, and realized by the look on his face that he hadn’t known about this. She got up and refilled her mug, giving the two men the illusion of privacy for a minute.

 

Rafael put his hand on Martin’s arm to get his attention. “Martin, look at me, please,” he said quietly.

 

Martin reluctantly looked up and met Rafael’s eyes. What he saw there relieved him.

 

Rafael smiled. “Good for you, not just for having the guts to tell us that, but for admitting you had a problem and overcoming it. I know that isn’t easy. It takes a lot of strength and courage.”

 

“Thanks,” Martin whispered back, before Alex came and sat back down.

 

“Thank you for telling me that, Martin. I don’t think it should be a problem if there’s nothing they can dig up or anything official on record. Plenty of men in important jobs have addictions they have under control, and I’ve had countless witnesses who have problems with alcohol and drugs that I’ve put on the stand. It only affects your credibility if you have been taking drugs, and if you’ve been clean for years, they can’t use it against you.” Alex was confident it wouldn’t be an issue, but still it was best to be aware of it, just in case. “Anything else I should know?”

 

Martin shook his head. “Not that I can think of. I’ve testified at least every couple of months while I’ve been with missing persons, and not had any problems in the past. If I think of anything else though, I will tell you. I assume you will be the one preparing me for trial and interviewing me on the stand?”

 

“Yes,” Alex confirmed. “It’s definitely too risky for Rafael to do it, as that would give them grounds for appeal if your relationship came out. Much safer for it to be me. I think you might get distracted if you had to work together too closely anyway.”

 

Rafael glared at her. “We’ve both been nothing but professional at work, and in how we’ve conducted ourselves since we realized the potential conflict of interest.”

 

Alex held her hands up. “I know. I don’t doubt your work ethic or professionalism. I just know if I was in your position, I would find it difficult to concentrate. Anyone would.” She thought she should change the conversation before Rafael got more irate. “Does anyone else know about your involvement other than me and Jack?” She aimed this question at Martin, as she knew Rafael’s answer already.

 

“I’ve told my mom and my dad will be informed, just to be prepared in case it does come out.” Martin told her. “I haven’t told anyone else, and don’t plan to. I needed to make sure my dad was aware in case the press do get hold of it as a result of the trial though.”

 

“I’m aware who your father is, and I think that’s a good idea. Is he likely to be accepting?” she queried.

 

Martin smiled wryly. “Publicly yes, privately not a hope in hell.”

 

Alex returned his smile but felt bad for him as she realized what a big step this was and what he was going through just for Rafael. “I hope Rafael’s worth it,” she teased.

 

Martin laughed. “So do I!”

 

Rafael glared at them both. “Hey – no ganging up on me. I’ll be worth it, honest!”

 

Martin briefly squeezed his hand and gave him an affectionate smile. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I know.” They continued to smile at each other until Martin’s phone rang. He answered it then got up, finishing his coffee.

 

“I’ve got to go. One of the leads has panned out, and they want me to help as they are planning to raid the facilities they think is where the girls are first taken when they are abducted. Just then Rafael’s phone rang. “That’s probably Olivia to tell you about it and ask for a warrant.”

 

Rafael answered the phone and spoke to Olivia while Martin turned to Alex. “Was there anything else you needed me for, as I can arrange to meet up with you later?”

 

“Nothing for now. You go and get back to work.” Martin started walking away but Alex called his name again, so he turned back. “Be careful. I can see how much Rafael cares about you already, and I think you’ll be great together. I want you to get that chance.” Martin smiled at her. It was great to have her approval for their relationship, and know someone was in their corner.

 

“Thanks. I’ll let you know how we get on,” he said before heading out of the room, having one last look at Rafael who was still on the phone.

 

***

 

It turned out that one of the hackers had managed to track down one of the abductors through their IP address to a warehouse out of town. The hacker had set himself up as a buyer, and put in a request for a specific type of girl. The abductor had opened up a private message thread to negotiate a price for obtaining what the hacker wanted, and he had managed to trace the IP information while the abductor was messaging him.

 

Olivia outlined how the operation would go, pairing Martin with Nick and telling them to go in the back door while she and Fin went through the front. They got a call just as they were finishing kitting up in bullet-proof vests. Rafael had gotten a judge to sign a warrant, so they were in business.

 

Fin and Olivia along with two other cops bust into the warehouse and caught the suspects, arresting them on the spot. There were 3 men and they had been taken outside and were being put in the van when they heard rapid gunfire from an automatic weapon from the back of the building. Martin and Nick plus two other officers were clearing the storage area of the warehouse, and it sounded like the shot was from there. Olivia ran back into the building as she heard a message over her radio. “Officer down, get a bus now!” It was Nick’s voice.

 

Olivia got to the two men as she heard Fin confirming over the radio that medical assistance was on its way. Martin was on the ground, and Nick was pressing his jacket to his arm. “Stay down Martin, wait for the medics,” Nick was saying as she joined them.

 

“What happened?” she asked.

 

“There was another perp in the storage area. He made a run for it when he heard you bust in the front, and when he saw us, he fired. The other two cops got him at the door and took him down. Two shots hit Martin, although luckily one was in the vest. The other caught his arm though.” Nick relayed the events to his partner. 

 

“It’s nothing. Just a through and through. Let me up,” Martin insisted, trying to stand up.

 

“It’s not nothing – you’re bleeding pretty heavily for an arm wound. Just stay still until the medics get here,” Nick said, keeping his hand pressed to the wound. A patch of blood was still spreading beneath Martin though. 

 

Just then they heard the sirens of the ambulance, and a minute later two medics came up, and quickly took over from Nick and had Martin on his way to the ambulance. Martin caught Nick’s attention.

 

“Nick, can you please phone Alex and tell her what happened. I had arranged to meet up with her to answer some questions later, so I want her to know why I won’t be able to make it.” Martin knew it was weak, but it was the best he could come up with to find a way to let Alex know he had been shot. He didn’t want Rafael to hear about it from anyone else.

 

Nick thought the request a bit strange, but agreed to it nevertheless. He did it straight away while Martin was being loaded into the ambulance, and Martin relaxed when he saw him on the phone, hoping it was Alex he was calling. The shock was starting to wear off, and the pain was getting harder to ignore. This was going to be hell, especially without decent painkillers. He told the paramedics that he didn’t want any narcotics, and why, and they told him they would pass on the message when they got to the hospital.

 

***

 

In the meantime, Alex took the call from Nick, and questioned him as best she could about Martin’s condition and where he was being taken, without it seeming suspicious. She told them that as they were out in the field and had their hands full, she would get in touch with the FBI and find out Martin’s next of kin’s contact details and notify them of the incident.

 

She put the phone down to Nick and then went into Rafael’s office. He was on the phone but quickly got off it when he saw her face. “What’s the problem?” he asked.

 

“The raid didn’t go as planned. They’ve got 4 men under arrest, but one of them fired before they could take him down. He hit Martin in the arm. He should be okay, but is on the way to the hospital now.” Alex thought being direct was the best route. She saw Rafael pale and look shocked, then tears welled up in his eyes. She had never seen him so upset.

 

“I can’t lose him, Alex, not when I’ve just found him,” he whispered. “I’ve got to go there, find out how he is.” Rafael got up and started putting his jacket on.

 

She pushed him back down into his chair. “You can’t. No-one knows about the two of you so you can’t go to the hospital. Nick told me that he was going there as soon as he gave his statement, and I told him that I would notify Martin’s family, so he should make sure to give me any updates when he got them. You need to keep your distance, at least for now.” Alex was insistent, and eventually she could see it was getting through to Rafael.

 

“Okay, you’re right. But I will be visiting him when he’s settled in a room.” Rafael was determined to see for himself how Martin was doing. He couldn’t believe it was only a couple of hours ago that he was kissing him in this room, and now he’d been shot.

 

Alex smiled at him. “Of course. We’ll both visit him later. In the meantime I promised I’d notify his family. Do you want to do it?” She thought that keeping him busy would be a good idea, and knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on work at the moment.

 

“Yes. Who should I contact first?” he asked.

 

“Ring missing persons and they should be able to give you his next of kin details.” She went to the bureau and poured him a coffee, knowing he would need the caffeine to counteract the shock of the news she had just given him.

 

Rafael contacted missing persons, and Jack Malone not only gave him his Mom’s phone number, but offered to contact his Dad himself, and pass on Rafael and Alex’s numbers to him when he got hold of the Deputy Director. Rafael took him up on that offer. He didn’t know if Martin’s mother had had time to discuss their son’s sexuality with his father yet, but knowing Martin’s opinion of his father, he would prefer not to have to deal with him. 

 

Rafael phoned up Martin’s mother, and once he confirmed who he was speaking to, he introduced himself. “Oh,” she said, sounding very bright and curious, “Martin told me about you.

 

This took Rafael aback. “What’s he said about me?” he questioned her.

 

“He told me that he was involved with you and that you made him happy. But he also said that because of this case he’s working that he couldn’t see you at the moment. So why are you calling me?” It suddenly occurred to Helena Fitzgerald that her son’s boyfriend ringing her when they had never been introduced was not a good thing.

 

“He has taken part in a raid this afternoon, and unfortunately he got injured. He has a gunshot wound to his arm. It’s only just happened, so I don’t have any update yet, but the officer on the scene said he was awake and it didn’t seem to be too serious. The FBI office is notifying your husband as we speak, but I wanted to speak to you myself.”

 

“Oh no. I can’t go through this again. He nearly died last time he was shot, did he tell you about it?” she asked, distraught that she had to see her son in the hospital having been shot again.

 

“Yes, I know about it. From what I know, this time is not like that. He has an arm wound, and it doesn’t sound as if it’s life threatening.”

 

“I know, it’s just that hearing he’s been shot again brings back all the memories of last time. Oh, my husband is just driving up now. We’ll be there as soon as we can. Please will you ring me again when you get an update on his condition?”

 

“Yes of course I will, and I’ll see you when you get here.” Rafael knew it wasn’t the right time to discuss it, but needed to be sure she wouldn’t say anything. “Uhm, no-one here knows about Martin and me, because of the trial, so please don’t say anything.”

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ve got to go, but I’ll be there soon. I’m looking forward to meeting you.” She put the phone down and opened the door to her husband. She could tell by his face that he had been given the news, and he took her into his arms immediately to comfort her.

 

***  

 

Martin was rushed into the hospital and assessed immediately. The hit to the vest would leave a nasty bruise, but nothing else. The other gunshot was more serious. Luckily it was a through and through, so the bullet didn’t need removing, but it had nicked a blood vessel on the way, which accounted for all the blood. The hospital called up for a surgeon to repair the damage, and by the time Nick made it to the hospital, he had been taken into surgery. He spoke to the doctor who had initially seen Martin and then rang Alex and updated her before taking a seat and waiting for him to get out of surgery.

 

***

 

Martin woke up slowly, and his eyes felt heavy, as if they had lead weights attached to them. He could feel pain radiating through his left arm and struggled to remember what had happened. He managed to open his eyes and recognized that he was in a hospital bed, and it all came back to him; he’d been shot again. He looked down and saw the top of his arm bandaged up, and immediately he moved, Nick came into view.

 

“How do you feel? Do you need me to get a doctor?” Nick asked.

 

“No, I’m okay. It hurts though,” Martin replied.

 

Nick immediately got up. “I’ll get a doctor. They should have you on strong painkillers now, so you shouldn’t be feeling like that.”

 

“No Nick, wait,” Martin called out. Nick came back to the bed and sat down in the seat. “I had a problem with drugs after I was shot 4 years ago, so I told them in the ambulance not to let me be given narcotics. I can cope with some pain, but I can’t cope with getting hooked on pills again.” He couldn’t believe he had to go through this again for the third time today.

 

“Okay, I can understand that. I can ask if there is anything else they can give you that isn’t addictive though,” Nick suggested. He had known other cops who had become addicted to painkillers after being injured on the job, so didn’t have a problem with Martin’s past, and wasn’t going to force medication on him if he didn’t want it, but wanted to help if he could.

 

“No, I’ll be fine for now. If it gets worse I’ll ask. Does anyone else know what happened to me?” Martin wasn’t sure how to ask if Nick had contacted Alex without it seeming strange.

 

“I called Alex, like you asked, and she said she would make sure your family was notified. I’ve given her an update that you’re out of surgery and the doctors says you’ll be out of hospital in a couple of days. She says the FBI notified your Dad and Barba spoke to your Mom. They are on their way from Washington now.” Nick could see Martin relax as he filled him in.  

 

“Thanks,” Martin said. “I knew they would be worried when they heard I’d been shot again, as I nearly died last time it happened. Lots of bad memories for all of us. Thank goodness it’s different this time.” Martin felt his eyes closing. He was really tired.

 

***

 

Helena put the phone down after getting an update from Rafael. She was so pleased that the doctors had confirmed that it was a relatively straightforward injury, and not only had the surgery been completed successfully, but he was out of recovery, and had woken up from the anesthetic and was expected to be released in a day or so. She filled her husband in when he got off his phone from his secretary who had been rescheduling his appointments for that afternoon and weekend. They were being driven to New York, and were sat in the back of the car, with the barrier up between their driver and themselves.

 

Now her immediate worry about Martin was over, she could think about the other problem on her mind; the conversation she had had with him last weekend, when he had told her that he was seeing a man now. She had said she would speak to Victor about it, and she was running out of time to do that. She wanted him to know before he saw Martin or met Rafael.

 

“Martin told me that when he was shot last time, it made him re-evaluate his life, and he has been making changes since then. He’s making decisions to make him happier in his life. I know you’re unhappy that he’s decided to work with NYPD instead of the FBI on secondment, but we need to support him, not criticize him. We’ve nearly lost him once, and he could have died today. It’s his life, and we need to let him live it his way, even if it’s not the way we would have picked for him.” Helena Fitzgerald watched her husband’s reaction to her words. He was staring out the window at the passing scenery, but she could tell by his face that he was listening to her.

 

“He told me last week that he’s started seeing someone, and is happy. He has been alone so much over the last few years, and now he’s met someone who he seems really keen on. He wants our support, and we need to give it to him.” Helena took Victor’s hand in her own and squeezed. He looked round at her.

 

“He doesn’t usually discuss his love life with us. What’s different this time?”

 

“It’s a man he’s seeing,” Helena replied.

 

Victor took a deep breath in and looked at his wife. “Are you serious? Since when has he been interested in men? He’s always been with women in the past, hasn’t he?” Victor couldn’t believe this about his own son.

 

“It sounds like he’s been interested in men for a while but hasn’t done anything about it before now. I think he always knew what we expected, and so he suppressed his feelings. But I’ve never seen him look as happy as he did when he was talking about this man.”

 

“Oh God, this will wreck his career, and who’s to say that this relationship will work out? They aren’t easy, without the added difficulties of it being a homosexual relationship. This could be just an experiment, or a phase he’s going through.”

 

“Victor, no. He had obviously put a lot of thought into this before they got involved, and I know his career is important to you, but it’s more important that he’s happy. If he decides that this relationship is one he wants to pursue, even though it may affect his career adversely, then that’s his decision. We have to respect that.”

 

Helena knew this was difficult for her husband, but was determined to get through to him. “He’s going to do what he feels is right for him, no matter what we think. If we don’t support him, we run the risk of losing him, not to a bullet, but because he feels we won’t accept him or the decisions he makes about his own life. I won’t do that. He is too important to me. You need to decide where you stand.”

 

Victor sighed and looked at his wife seriously. “I just want the best for him, in his career and in his life. That’s the only reason I criticize. I know what the FBI is like. It’s not accepting of homosexual relationships. Things might be changing, but not that much. I don’t want his life to be harder than it has to be.”

 

“I know you want to make life easier for him. But what’s easier is if he knows we will back whatever decisions he makes, rather than feeling he has to fight us too. He needs us to accept him. Can you do that?”

 

“Of course I can. Look this is a shock to me; you’ve really taken me by surprise with this, on top of hearing that he’s been shot. Do we really need to discuss it now? I need time to process this.” Victor could feel a headache coming on as it was. The last thing he wanted was to have to think about this now.

 

Helena thought about it for a minute. She had hoped that she would be able to meet Rafael as Martin’s boyfriend without keeping things from her husband, but realized that she needed to give him time. At least now he knew what was happening with Martin. Knowing the particulars could wait until later. “No, we can discuss it more another time. Martin’s not telling people about it, but keeping it to himself. I just wanted you to know before we see him.”

 

Victor got himself a drink out of his bag, and took a sip. “Well it explains one thing. He asked me for the details of a club that caters for gay men who want to be discrete. He told me it was for a friend. but obviously wanted it for himself. It should have occurred to me at the time. At least he’s being sensible about it, and if he’s met a man there, then ne will be interested in keeping in the closet too.”

 

“He did tell me he met the man at a club,” Helena confirmed.

 

“Clubs like that are for sex, for scratching an itch, not somewhere to meet someone for a relationship!” he commented, shaking his head.

 

“Victor! Don’t talk about your son that way. I don’t want to think about Martin like that. He definitely is getting involved in a relationship, and the man has a good job, and sounds nice.”

 

“Sounds nice? You mean from what Martin has said, or have you spoken to him?” Victor knew he was sounding quite accusatory, but he could tell his wife was keeping something from him.

 

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it?” Helena responded, trying to get out of the conversation herself now.

 

“I didn’t. But you obviously know more about this than you’ve told me, so I want to know it all.” Victor was determined to know what was going on.

 

Helena sighed. “The man Martin has been involved with is associated with the case he’s working at the moment, so they can’t see each other until it’s concluded. I have spoken to him on the phone today about Martin. We will probably meet him in New York. But as I said, they are keeping it quiet so the other people they are working with don’t know about it.”

 

“Oh God, he’s a cop isn’t he?”

 

“No, he’s a lawyer.” Helena replied.

 

Victor just glared at his wife until she caved. “His name’s Rafael. I really don’t know anything else about him though.”

 

“He’s the man you were just speaking to, who told you that Martin’s out of surgery and awake, isn’t he?” Victor recognized the name from hearing his wife say it on the phone. His wife nodded. He thought again, then got out his phone and looked something up. “Rafael Barba is the ADA for the Special Victims Unit. It must be him.”

 

Helena took the phone from Victor’s hand. “Stop it. Don’t look the man up before you even meet him.”

 

Victor smiled. “I would have thought you would want me to treat this relationship the same way I would do if it was a woman Martin was involved with. I’ve done checks on his girlfriends in the past.”

 

“Well stop it! I’m sure Martin is perfectly capable of doing background checks on anyone he is seeing himself if he wants to know about them.”

 

“So you’re not interested in knowing what he looks like then?” Victor enquired. He knew his wife’s curiosity would get the better of her. She hesitated, and then gave him the phone back. He quickly found a picture of the ADA from the Internet and showed it to his wife.

 

She looked at it with interest. “He’s good looking. I think they would make a good couple.”

 

Victor rolled his eyes. “You would think that!”

 

***  

Rafael and Alex headed to the precinct when Olivia rang to say that the suspects they had got in the raid were all in custody and one of them was looking for a deal. Although Rafael really didn’t want to do anything other than go to the hospital, he couldn’t find any pretext to do that so was stuck working, although his mind was not on the job.

 

The two ADAs met Olivia in Cragan’s office and discussed the men they had caught that day. There were no women currently in the warehouse, but they had found what looked like very large cages in the storage area, and these matched the descriptions they had gotten from the women who had been abducted. The van that they had been looking for and had been used when the women were grabbed was also in the warehouse, and the laptop was being checked over now to confirm that the website and auction were being run from it.

 

One of the men had obviously seen the way things were going down, and had requested a lawyer and a visit from the ADA to make a deal before he was even interviewed. He knew that the first one to make a deal would get the best chance of leniency. Rafael discussed it with Alex and then went into the interrogation room to find out what the man was willing to offer them in exchange for a deal. Alex in the meantime went with Olivia to see where they were with the other suspects, who were being interviewed. None of them had lawyered up yet.

 

The man told Rafael that they had heavy duty encryption software on the laptop, so if they wanted to get to the other men who had bought girls, videos or pictures from them, then they needed him to co-operate. He offered to give up that information in exchange for better prison conditions and a shorter sentence. There was no way that the ADA was going to make a deal without checking that the information was correct though, so he left the room and rang up the computer techs to find out if they had managed to get into the laptop, and if what the man was saying was true. Unfortunately it was, and he was told that it was unlikely that they would be able to track down the other buyers without the passwords and access codes the man was offering. So Rafael made a deal with him in exchange for his co-operation with the laptop, and also his testimony on the stand against the other suspects.

 

He went and told Alex what he’d done, and found out that the other suspects were in the process of being interviewed, but so far had not been co-operating. They were all to be charged with multiple counts though. Not only had they charges of abduction and distribution of pornographic material, there were pedophilia charges too. None of the men would be getting out of prison again. One of the men was also being charged with attempted murder of a federal officer too, following Martin’s shooting.

 

By the time all the men had been charged, it was quite late in the day, so the SVU squad decided to call it a night. Nick had updated them that Martin was settled in a room, and they decided that they would visit before going their separate ways home. Naturally Alex and Rafael tagged along too.

 

It was a big group that made it to the hospital room and joined Nick; Olivia, Fin, and Amanda as well as the two ADAs. Martin only had eyes for Rafael, although he tried to cover that up. He did appreciate all the squad visiting him. He was only a temporary member of them, but all of them visiting made him feel like part of the team. If anyone got injured from missing persons, the team would make sure that the injured person wasn’t left alone, and usually everyone would visit, but he hadn’t expected the same treatment from the SVU team.

 

As the anesthetic had worn off, the pain had increased, but he had been given some anti-inflammatory painkillers as well as the acetaminophen to take, and that was helping. He couldn’t move his arm though, and it was currently in a sling, which he would likely need for a few weeks, he had been warned. He was being given IV antibiotics to ward off infection, plus a saline drip to counter the loss of blood. He was expected to be released tomorrow though, assuming no signs of infection or other complications.

 

The SVU detectives didn’t stay long: Nick had been there hours already and still had paperwork from the raid to finish, and the others had been up since early that morning, and were planning to work tomorrow too, even though it was the weekend. They needed food and some rest before that. Alex and Rafael weren’t planning to be working the next day, although it is likely they would get called in at some point, so Alex suggested that they stay with Martin until his parents arrived.

 

Once the SVU detectives had all left, Alex excused herself to get coffee, leaving Rafael alone with Martin. Rafael immediately moved to sit on the bed next to Martin, desperate to be close to him. He leaned in for a chaste kiss, which Martin responded to, and they stayed close until Martin gasped. Rafael pulled away quickly. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

“Nothing. I just tried to move my arm. I want to hold you, but there’s no way my arm will co-operate.” Martin was starting to feel frustrated already with the limitations of his injury and he’d only had it a few hours. It was going to be long few weeks before he would be able to use it normally.

 

“Don’t try and move. Let me hold you instead,” Rafael suited his actions to his words as he leaned in further, putting one arm around Martin’s right side and cuddling in closer with his other arm round his waist. Rafael had his face in Martin’s hair now, the only part of him that didn’t smell of hospital, but instead of his shampoo. They stayed together like that, just appreciating each other being there.

 

“I was so worried when Alex told me that you’d been shot. I wanted to come here straight away but couldn’t come up with a reason. I hate that we have to keep this quiet,” Rafael told Martin.

 

“I know what you mean. There I was, lying bleeding on the warehouse floor, and all I could do was try to find some excuse for Nick to tell Alex what happened so she could let you know. I didn’t want you hearing about it when someone who didn’t know was around.”

 

“Thanks for that. I think I would have given us away if I’d heard about it in front of the detectives.”

 

Martin thought about something else he wanted to ask about. “Nick said you spoke to my mom and told her what had happened. Did you tell her who you were?”

 

“I told her my name and my job title, and she immediately put two and two together. She sounds nice, and said she was looking forward to meeting me. She and your dad are on their way from Washington.” Rafael was a bit nervous of this. He’d not known Martin long or had chance to really discuss where their relationship was going, or even have any actual dates outside the club yet, but here he was, about to meet his parents.

 

Martin laughed, and then winced. “Mom will be fine. She’ll like you. As for my dad, that will depend whether she’s had time to talk to him about us or not. I’m sure we’ll be able to figure that out from his reaction to meeting you though. Just, don’t take anything he says personally. I’m sorry you have to go through the ‘meet the parents’ routine when we’ve hardly started things between us. I won’t blame you if you want to get out of here before they arrive.

 

Rafael pulled away from him just enough so he could look into Martin’s eyes. “No way am I going anywhere before I have to. I’ve faced down murderers and mobsters; I can cope with your parents!”

 

“I’m sure you can, I’m just saying that you don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Martin did appreciate the concern he saw in Rafael’s eyes.

 

Rafael took Martin’s hand in his own, and looked seriously at him, “I know, but I’m staying here with you.”

 

Alex popped back into the room briefly and handed Rafael a coffee, then went back out again, telling them she had a couple of calls to make. Rafael knew better, but appreciated her giving them time alone. She really was a good friend.

 

Not long after, Alex spotted a striking couple leave the elevator and head for the nurses station, obviously to ask for directions to a room. When she saw a nurse gesture in her direction, she knocked on the door and went back in. “Martin, it looks like your parents are here. I thought I’d better warn you,” she said, looking at Rafael who was still sat on the bed, holding Martin’s hand. He immediately got down and went to stand by Alex, looking nervous. It was just in time too, as only seconds later the door opened, and Martin’s mother rushed in, followed more slowly by his father.

 

“Martin, how are you? Are you okay?” his mom asked, as she approached the bed and took her son’s hand in her own.

 

“I’m fine mom. This is just a scratch really. Not serious at all.” Martin tried to reassure her, knowing how worried she would have been after last time he was injured. “They say I’ll make a full recovery and should be out of here tomorrow. They just want to get these antibiotics in me and monitor me for signs of infection before releasing me.”

 

“Oh thank goodness. Is it painful? Have they given you strong painkillers?”

 

“I’m on regular painkillers – no narcotics. I made sure of that. This won’t set me back mom, you don’t need to worry about that.” Martin knew his mom would have been concerned about his addiction. It wasn’t something they really spoke about usually, but he wasn’t surprised she had asked in this situation.

 

Victor Fitzgerald was looking round the room, realizing they weren’t alone, and glared at his wife when she made a comment about painkillers. His son’s addiction had been a source of embarrassment that he definitely didn’t want strangers to know about. He looked at both people in the room with them, and noticed neither of them looked surprised about the reference to narcotics. They obviously knew about Martin’s previous problems. Then he recognized Rafael from the photo he had shown his wife earlier, and realized who he was. He didn’t look away, but glared at him, until Rafael realized what was happening and met his look.

 

Martin looked past his mom and saw what his dad was doing. “Dad, thanks for coming. I know it couldn’t have been easy to rearrange your schedule.” Martin thought distracting him would be a good idea, and also he wanted to introduce Alex and Rafael before it got awkward.

 

“Mom, dad, this is ADA Alexandra Cabot and ADA Rafael Barba, who I’ve been working with. Alex, Rafael, this is Victor and Helena Fitzgerald, my parents.” Both Alex and Rafael shook hands with his parents, and then Martin saw his mom had made the connection.

 

“Ahh, Rafael. I spoke to you on the phone earlier. Thank you for ringing me and keeping me informed of how Martin was doing.” She looked happy to meet him but was obviously holding back what she really wanted to say, as she remembered that they were keeping their relationship quiet.

 

Rafael smiled warmly at Martin’s mom. She seemed very nice, and as Martin had said, she was fine with him. His dad on the other hand… well, he hadn’t expected any warmth from that direction, so wasn’t disappointed.

 

“Well, I’d better be going. I’m meant to be meeting a friend soon. I’ll speak to you tomorrow Rafael, and get better soon Martin. I’ll see you next week.” Alex said goodbye to them and made her escape. She was glad she wasn’t in Rafael’s shoes. She had seen how Victor had glared at him. Knowing how tough he could be though, she was sure that Rafael had a thick enough skin to take it.

 

Rafael hovered for a minute, not sure quite what to do. Martin saved him. “Rafael, can you see if you can scrounge up another chair from somewhere please? Mom, dad, do you want a coffee or something, after your journey here?” Both parents agreed that a coffee would be good, so Rafael offered to get them, and took their requests before making his escape. He decided to go to the hospital café to get a coffee, knowing the drinks there were better than those from the machines on each floor. It would give Martin some time alone with his parents.

 

Martin could tell by the way that his dad had been giving Rafael the evil eye that his mom had not only filled him in on the fact that he was now dating a man, but had told him who this man was. He thought it would be good to get this conversation over with while Rafael was out of the room.

 

“Okay dad, out with it. I can tell that mom has told you that I am seeing Rafael, and I’m sure you’ve got something to say about it.” Martin thought being direct would be the best option, just like pulling off a Band-Aid. Martin saw his mom glare at her husband, but didn’t think that would be enough to stop him.

 

“Yes Martin, your mother did tell me. Frankly I was shocked. I’ve never seen any signs of you being interested in men before. Why this sudden change?” Victor knew that both Martin and his wife would be expecting him to go into a rant, but he had taken on board what Helena had said in the car. This close shave had reminded him how precious Martin was to him. He didn’t want to lose him from his life, either by death or not being open-minded enough to accept the decisions Martin was making about his life.

 

Martin was surprised, and was sure his face reflected that. “I’ve found myself interested in men for quite a long time, but never done anything about it before now. I felt it was time to stop ignoring how I feel and actually discover if it was really what I wanted. I do know I don’t want to be on my own anymore and have nothing in my life but my career.”

 

“You’ve moved away from missing persons and also found yourself a boyfriend, all in the space of a few weeks. Is this something to do with Agent Taylor? I know he’s just got married to Agent Delgado.”

 

At this Martin was really shocked. Firstly that his dad even knew what was happening in the personal lives of the agents working missing persons, and also that he would be perceptive enough to guess the reason for Martin’s recent changes. He sighed. “Yes it has. I’ve had feelings for Danny for a while now, but now he’s married Elena, it’s definitely past time for me to move on. A bit of space from him and a few changes in my life are just what I need right now.”

 

Martin saw his mom looking at him with sympathy in her eyes. He had never told her how he felt about Danny. Victor brought the other chair in the room closer to the bed so he could sit close to his son. “I can understand you wanting to make changes, but I don’t think rushing into a relationship with this man is the answer. If it comes out, you could damage your career, and it’s not worth it for a rebound relationship.”

 

“It’s not a rebound relationship!” Martin was outraged at the thought of it. “It’s still in the early stages, but I’ve never gone into any relationship lightly, and this is no different. Plus I’ve never had any relationship with Danny apart from friendship. My feelings for him have always been unrequited, and now I’ve moved on from them. I feel more strongly for Rafael already than I did for Danny, and we both care for each other. I just want this trial to be over so I can continue to see him.”

 

“I know you’re not worried about your career, but the FBI isn’t very progressive. You will be damaging it by coming out. Plus Rafael Barba is not exactly unknown. When someone finds out about the two of you, it’s likely to be in the press. Are both of you prepared for that?” Victor couldn’t help pointing out some of the negative points of their relationship.

 

“It’s not that I don’t care about my career. I just don’t care about it enough to turn my back on who I am in order to further it. There are more important things in my life than how far I progress with the FBI, like how happy I am, and who I spend my life with outside my job. Rafael has always kept his work separate from his private life too, and up to now, no-one he knows professionally has ever known he was gay. As a result of our involvement, he’s had to tell his boss and also Alex. We’re both aware that it might come out and are prepared for the consequences. We are both invested in this relationship.” Martin was convinced of Rafael’s stance on this subject even though they hadn’t really had chance to discuss it. The fact that he had told Jack and Alex was proof of that, just as Martin telling his parents was.

 

Helena interrupted the father and son argument. “Well I for one am happy that you have found someone who makes you happy, and who is serious about your relationship. I hope to get to know him a bit while I am here.” She decided it was time to change the subject. “You obviously won’t be able to use that arm for some time, so when you are released tomorrow I will come and stay with you and help you out until you can manage on your own.”

 

Martin sighed. “You don’t have to do that, mom. I’m sure I will cope.” He did appreciate the offer, but wasn’t sure how much of his mom in the small space of his apartment he would be able to take.

 

“I know you would manage, but it will be much easier if I am around, at least for a few days. I can cook and make sure you have everything you need. You’ll be in pain and not able to do much, plus it will reassure me that you’re on the mend.” There was no way Helena was going to take ‘no’ for an answer, and Martin knew it.

 

He smiled. “Okay mom, that would be helpful, thanks. Just for a few days though.”

 

Just then Rafael came back in with two coffees in his hand which he handed to Martin’s parents, before ducking back out to get a third chair. He had been stood outside for a few minutes, and decided to wait until the conversation moved on from his relationship with Martin before coming back in.

 

“So Rafael, how long have you been working as ADA for the Special Victims Unit?” Helena asked.

 

Rafael smiled at her. “Two years. Before that I was ADA in Brooklyn, but I wanted a change. I’m not planning on moving anywhere else anytime soon though. It’s challenging work, and the cases really can get to me sometimes, but I know I’m doing good work here, and I like the people I work with.”

 

“Are you ambitious? Do you see yourself running for DA some day?” Martin’s dad asked.

 

Rafael looked at him, before cautiously replying. “That had always been something I was looking to do in the past, and joining SVU was a stepping stone towards that goal. But it’s become less important to me recently as I am happy where I am for now, and I want more in my life than just my career. Plus, unless things change, it’s likely that being gay would stop me from being elected anyway.” He was nervous of saying this, despite it being the truth. He wasn’t used to being open about his sexuality.

 

“You sound like Martin,” Victor commented. He saw Rafael and Martin look at each other and smile. “He’s now more concerned about his personal life than his career.”

 

“Well, we have that in common. My career has been good, but I want to have a private life as well. I don’t want to be alone, but want to find someone to share my life with, and grow old with. It’s too soon to tell if Martin is that person for me, or me for him, but we want to get the chance to find out.” Rafael was looking at Martin as he said this, and could see that he felt the same way.

 

Just then, there was movement at the door, which Victor spotted. He got up and left the room quickly. Martin could see who it was at the door and groaned. “Oh no, Jack’s here. Not that I’m not happy to see him, but dad’s likely to give him grief about allowing me to work with SVU.” Sure enough, he could see from the body language of the two FBI agents outside the door that they were arguing.

 

“Don’t you worry about it. From what you’ve always said, Jack Malone can handle himself, and even if your dad is Deputy Director, he’s never let him walk all over him. You asked for that transfer. He just needs to vent on someone at the moment.” Helena knew her husband well.

 

Martin laughed. “Well I’m just glad it wasn’t me for once. What did you say to him? I was expecting him to react much worse than that!”

 

Helena smiled. “He was worried about you after hearing you had been injured. I pointed out that you need our support, not disapproval. It’s obviously sunk in. He does love you, you know. He just doesn’t always show it the right way.”

 

Martin smiled. “I know that. I love you both too. Still, I think it would be a good idea to keep dad away from Jack.”

 

Helena stood up. “Okay. It’s been a long day. How about we leave and visit with you again tomorrow. Hopefully you can go home then and we will have lots of time together to catch up.” She leant over Martin and kissed him on his cheek before stepping back.

 

“I’ll go too,” Rafael said. “It’ll look strange if I’m here when Jack is here, and visiting time is nearly up. I’ll see you again soon though.” Although he wasn’t going to touch Martin in front of his mother, he did smile warmly at Martin, who could see the affection in his eyes.

 

“Okay. I’ll look forward to it.” Martin didn’t want Rafael to go, but he agreed that there was really no way to explain his presence to Jack, and they were meant to be hiding their relationship, so him leaving was for the best.

 

Helena and Rafael walked out of the room, and Helena spoke to her husband, who left Jack and walked back to say goodbye to Martin.

 

“Thanks dad, for being okay about Rafael. I know it can’t be easy.” Martin did appreciate the effort his dad was making.

 

Victor hesitated before nodding. “I want what’s best for you Martin because you’re my son and I love you. I know what I think is best and what you do often clash though. You’re an adult and make your own decisions, so I will do my best to accept them. If this relationship with Rafael makes you happy, I’ll give him a chance.”

 

Martin smiled warmly at his dad. “I appreciate that. I love you too, dad. Will I see you tomorrow?”

 

“Yes, I’ll stay in New York for the weekend. I need to do some work, but I can do it out of the offices here.” Victor smiled at his son again and then strode out of the room.

 

Jack walked in and sat down in the chair nearest to the bed. “Wow, your dad isn’t mellowing with age is he?”

 

Martin laughed. “No, not as far as you’re concerned he’s not. I’m sorry if he gave you a hard time.”

 

Jack shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle. Apparently it’s my fault you got shot as I allowed you to work with the NYPD.”

 

“I suppose the fact that it’s what I wanted didn’t come up. He’s given me a hard time about the transfer as well, but he’s been okay with me tonight. Probably the fact that I got shot has something to do with it though.”

 

Jack nodded. “So how are you? What happened? You’d worked for me for 3 years before you got shot, but with SVU you only make it 3 weeks!”

 

Martin laughed, and then filled him in on the raid, and the progress they had made in tracking down the ring of abductors and pedophiles that had been uncovered as a result of their missing person’s case. Jack was keen for Martin to come back to the FBI, especially now he had an injury, but Martin was determined to stay where he was until the case was closed.

 

“We’re making such progress, and I don’t want to leave before it’s finished. I’ll be riding a desk for the next few weeks anyway, and I’ll also need to testify. I’d really like to stay longer to finish this up, please Jack.”

 

“Okay. So other than the case, is it helping you to be away from missing persons for a bit? Will you be ready to come back when the case has finished, or am I going to be getting permanent transfer papers across my desk?” Jack had been concerned that he would lose Martin, and despite some difficulties, especially more recently with his bad judgement over Kim, he didn’t want Martin to leave permanently, even if it would get his dad off his ass.

 

Martin thought how to answer that. “Yes, it’s helped. I’ve enjoyed working with a new team, and they’ve all been very accepting of me into their squad, and they all visited me earlier. But I can’t see myself wanting to do it permanently; I’m not about to leave the FBI for the NYPD.”

 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Jack commented.

 

After that they discussed the cases that the missing persons team had been investigating over the last few weeks and Jack filled him in on some of the gossip before he left, leaving Martin alone for the first time since he had woken up from the anesthetic.

 

He was quite glad of the peace so he could think. A lot had changed since then, with his dad now knowing about him and Rafael, and their relationship being discussed openly with the two men and Martin’s parents. That seemed very strange to Martin, who had avoided his parents meeting anyone he had dated for a long time. They had a tendency to judge the woman based on who she was, not what she was like, or how happy Martin was with her. Then they wanted to push the relationship either towards marriage (if the woman was suitable to have the Fitzgerald name), or towards a break-up if they deemed her not suitable. It was much easier for Martin to just keep all parties apart. This hadn’t been an option here, but it had gone better than he would have expected.

 

One thing that had surprised Martin was his dad guessing about his feelings for Danny. He considered that if his relationship with Rafael came out, Jack might come to the same conclusion, as may other members of the missing person’s team. That was the last thing he wanted. It did mean he would want to have a conversation with Rafael about Danny before his work colleagues knew about it though. It could go on the list with all the other things he wanted to do when he got chance with Rafael.

 

It was very frustrating that they hadn’t had more than 5 minutes alone for a few weeks now, with no prospect of that changing until the trial was over. Their relationship seemed to be changing from casual with the potential of a relationship, to having repercussions in their lives and becoming more serious without them even having had a date. It seemed crazy, but Martin couldn’t deny how he was starting to feel about Rafael.

 

Martin went to sleep thinking about Rafael, and had a smile on his face all night.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

By lunchtime the next day, Olivia and the team had finished the interviews and all their suspects were in Rikers for the weekend. They were going to have a case meeting on Monday to discuss where they were now, and what needed to be done next. They all took the rest of the weekend off to try and get some personal time before the next working week. Olivia rang the hospital to see how Martin was doing, and was told he had been released, so sent a text to his cell to let him know she was glad he had been released, and for him to keep her informed how he was doing. He replied, thanking her for her concern, and telling her that the hospital had told him he should stay away from work until at least Wednesday, but he would contact her then and let her know how he was.

 

Martin had found the morning frustrating. As usual for a hospital, they had been round early to check on the patients (i.e. wake them up), and then breakfast, followed by ward rounds. He had ended up needing to wait an hour between the doctor saying he could leave to when his papers were finalized and his prescription for non-narcotic painkillers filled, but he was finally able to get out of there. His mom had been waiting patiently with him, and his dad had been over briefly too on his way to the office.

 

Once home, Martin relaxed on the couch, feeling worn out and in pain just from the journey home. It had jostled his arm even though he had tried to be careful with it, and so he was glad to just be able to stay still and let his mom do everything for him for a bit.

 

His cell rang and when he looked at the screen, it told him that it was Alex. He answered and found that it wasn’t Alex at all, but Rafael who had obviously borrowed her phone to ring him. Martin smiled. “Do you think we need to be so cautious that you can’t ring me from your own phone?” he asked.

 

Rafael laughed. “It probably isn’t necessary, but I thought better safe than sorry. I don’t want records of lots of cell phone calls between us if anyone does try to fish for proof of our relationship.”

 

“So maybe you should go out and buy us both burner phones so we can talk as much as we want,” Martin said jokingly.

 

“Maybe I will,” Rafael replied with a laugh before getting more serious. “So how are you? I checked with the hospital and they said you had been released, which is good.”

 

“Yeah, it felt like it took forever to get out of there, but I’m finally home. The journey wasn’t too good and my arm’s painful, but I’m just lying on my couch now while my mom fusses over me.”

 

“I heard that!” Martin heard called out from the kitchen. “Is that Rafael? Invite him over to dinner tomorrow night. I want to get to know him while I’m here.” Martin moved the phone away from his face to reply.

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, mom, until the trial is over,” he called out. Rafael wanted to know what she had said, so Martin told him. Unfortunately for Helena, Rafael agreed, but he did promise that next time she was in town, they would have dinner together. Rafael chatted for a few more minutes before he had to get back to work, but just talking to him for that short space of time had made Martin’s day. He felt like a teenager again with his first crush.

 

Late that afternoon Martin heard his doorbell go. His mom answered it and then brought Martin a package. He opened it with her help and inside he found a brand new cell phone, with $10 credit and already charged. There was one number only programmed into the memory, and a note that read “I decided you were right. I bought them with cash and even wore a disguise! Rafael.”

 

Martin grinned before dialing the number in the cell’s memory. The phone was answered gratifyingly quickly. “I’m going to feel like a gangster, having a burner phone for secret calls, you know.”

 

Rafael laughed. “I felt like one buying them, but you were right; we don’t want a record of calls between us, but I want to keep in touch and be able to ring you when I want. The more I thought about it, the better the idea seemed. So is your arm feeling any better yet?”

 

“Yes it is, thanks,” Martin replied. "I just need to not move it for a few days and give it chance to heal. The anti-inflammatory painkillers don’t do that much to kill the pain.”

 

“Didn’t they give you anything else?” Rafael asked.

 

Martin filled him in on the various options he’d discussed with the doctor, who was experienced in addiction. “I was offered some Ultram at the hospital to take for short term use, as it is less addictive than other narcotics but I just don’t want to take the risk if I can help it. They did tell me that I shouldn’t put up with too much pain though as it can interfere with healing. I’m looking at other options too, like using a TENS machine. Some studies have shown that can help post-operative pain.”

 

Rafael didn’t know much about addiction, but had done some Internet research that morning to improve his knowledge, so was aware of some of this from the articles he had seen. “I’m glad you’re trying other options, but if it will stop you healing so well, do speak to the doctors again. I don’t like to think of you suffering.”

 

“I’ll see how it goes. I can cope with it now I’ve not moved it for a few hours, and the pain will be less each day. The distraction of talking to you helps, too.”

 

“Ring me whenever you need to. As long as I’m not in court or in a meeting, I’ll answer. That includes at night if you can’t sleep, too. I’ll even sing you a lullaby to help you get back to sleep.” Rafael answered.

 

“You sing too! What other talents have you got that I don’t know about?”

 

“I sing, I can cook, and am a very good cheat at cards. Play strip poker with me and I’ll have you naked in no time,” Rafael joked.

 

Martin lowered his voice so his mom didn’t hear. “You don’t need to cheat to get my clothes off, you know.”

 

“I know. I’m looking forward to doing that again, as soon as we can, and you’re better.” Rafael could feel himself becoming aroused just at the thought.

 

“We are not having a conversation like this when my mom is staying with me!” Martin whispered. “I have no problem with phone sex when I’m alone and when I am able to enjoy it, but that’s going to have to wait at least a few days, probably longer.”

 

“Okay, sorry. Let me know when you are up to it though.” Rafael thought a change of subject was in order. “I spoke to Olivia today and the case is going well. We’ve made a deal for one of the abductors to testify against the rest of the group, and also give us their buyers. Hopefully next week they’ll be able to start rounding them up. The trial of the rose tattoo group will be pretty quick too. The judge agreed for one trial for all of them, and they have insisted on a speedy trial, probably because they hope to catch us out before we have enough evidence. They’re in for a shock. It does mean it should be finished in the next few weeks though.”

 

“That’s great news. I wondered what was happening. I got a text from Olivia earlier, but haven’t spoken to her, or heard how the case was going.”

 

“We’ve got another case conference on Monday morning, so I’ll know more after that, and will keep you informed.”

 

“Thanks, Rafael. I really appreciate all you’re doing for me. I’d better go. Mom is dishing up dinner for us. But I’ll speak to you again soon.”

 

“You definitely will. I’d better get some food myself. Don’t forget; ring me if you want to or need a distraction. Get better soon. Bye Martin.” Rafael listened to Martin saying goodbye then put the phone down. That call had been worth all the hassle it had taken in terms of getting the cells and getting it delivered to Martin. He hoped they could keep in touch better this way until they could meet without it being in secret.

 

***

 

On Monday at the case meeting, Fin went through the information that they had gotten from the informant among the abductors, which had all been verified by TARU. They had three purchasers of the girls that the team had abducted that they had details of, and were just trying to finalize their locations from the computer information. They were hoping to get all they needed to arrest them in the next couple of days. Rafael was working with the detectives to get the warrants as soon as they were ready, while Alex was working on the case against the abductors. They were making great progress, but didn’t have everything in place yet.

 

With the number of different cases all intersecting, it was easy for the detectives to keep all the information from them all straight, so Olivia suggested that each detective was given one of the cases to manage, and become an expert on that case, so that anyone wanting to know anything about any of the cases, including Rafael or Alex, could go to the detective in charge of that case. Everyone agreed it as a good idea, and it was decided that the three new cases would be looked after by Nick, Fin and Amanda, with Olivia looking after the case of the abductors. The first case, the one of the group that used the rose tattoo as their logo, would be handled by Martin.

 

When Alex and Rafael got out of the precinct, Alex suggested they get a drink, as there was something she wanted to discuss with him. They went to the usual bar frequented by the police and court personnel, and got drinks before sitting in a booth in the corner. Alex took a large gulp of her drink before she started with what she wanted to say.

 

“I want to keep Martin out of these three new cases. I don’t think he needs to be involved, even if he does get back into work before they are resolved, and I think it would be better if he was kept out of them.”

 

“Why? Tell me your reasoning,” Rafael responded.

 

Alex took a deep breath in. “I think he will soon be going back to missing persons, and these cases are likely to take a lot longer to come to trial, and it will be more difficult to get him released from the FBI to testify and prepare with him than it is the detectives of the NYPD.” She paused, but Rafael just kept looking at her, knowing she had more reasons than that one. She continued: “I also know that the defense are likely to try and use his previous drug use against him to discredit him, especially knowing that he has just had surgery and will be in pain.”

 

Rafael could feel his temper rising. He knew how much pain Martin was in and that he was suffering because he refused to take painkillers, so to hear Alex suggest that his drug use could still be used against him despite this was making him angry. Alex could see this.

  
”Look Rafael, I’m not suggesting he has taken any narcotics or would do, but the suggestion will come up, and although we can try to counter that, the suggestion itself will be enough to cause some doubt. If we ask Martin to do a drugs test to prove he is clean, it will look like we don’t trust him, and without a clean test there is no proof that he is still clean. It’s a catch 22 position. You know this. You’ve seen it before, just as I have.” Alex knew this wouldn’t go down well with Rafael, but she had to do the best for their cases, which meant having this difficult conversation.

 

Rafael took a sip of his drink and tried to think rationally about it. Alex was right, he had come across this before and knew that she was telling the truth. It was difficult to hear that Martin’s previous problem could still be used against him though. He sighed. “You’re right. I hate it, but you are right. I just know he has been in pain but struggling with it rather than risk taking anything that could possibly cause any relapse into addiction.”

 

“Martin is primary on the first case and necessary for the trial against the abductors too. All of the work he did with those is very valuable, and that was all before he got shot, so there is no way they can use his injury against him. Also, if he is only involved in the first two trials, he will be clear of anything that would prevent him seeing you much quicker than otherwise.” Alex saw the smile start on Rafael’s face when she said that. She thought that would be the persuasive argument.    

 

“Okay, I’ll talk to Martin about it. What about SVU? They don’t know about Martin’s drug problem so how are you going to explain this to Olivia?”

 

“I think we need to tell Liv about it. She will not have a problem or say anything, and as she is the one who is making the assignments at the moment in Cragen’s absence, the others will go along with what she says.” 

 

“Let me check with Martin first will you? I don’t want to go behind his back and reveal his secrets without his say so.” Rafael didn’t think that Martin would have a problem with Liv knowing, but didn’t want to betray his trust by agreeing to tell Liv about his addiction without permission.

 

“That’s fine. I’ll go and see Liv in the morning and discuss it with her. I assume you talking to Martin tonight won’t be a problem?” She smiled, and saw Rafael’s smirk. “If Martin has a problem with any of this, get him to ring me.”

 

“I’ll speak to him and pass the message on.”

 

“So how’s he doing? You’re obviously in touch with him, although I hope you’re being careful to make sure your contact can’t be traced.” Alex was curious. She had let Rafael borrow her phone on Saturday, but didn’t know how they were keeping in contact since then.

 

Rafael smirked. “We’re being careful. He’s doing better. He has been struggling with the pain, but it is lessening each day and he’s starting to be able to move his arm a bit. His mom is starting to drive him mad by hovering, but he was hoping she would be going home today. He thinks he may be able to come in towards the end of the week, but has a check-up before that, and will go with whatever the doctor says.”

 

“Good. I thought you were still contacting each other. You’re less grumpy than usual and I’m sure that must be Martin’s influence.” Alex got another dig in. Rafael just smiled at her and didn’t comment.

 

***

 

That night Rafael rang Martin after he’d had dinner. He was relaxing in his apartment and looking forward to catching up with him, but not looking forward to telling him about his conversation with Alex. In the end he didn’t need to have worried. When he broached the subject, Martin agreed with Alex about the defense trying to make use of his previous addiction problems in light of his recent injury. He also said he had been aware that his addiction might come up, so had asked the doctors at the hospital to do a test for him just so he would have proof that he was drug-free. He also said he was planning to repeat the test in a few weeks, so no doubt could ever be put about whether he had used any narcotics in his recovery from the gunshot. 

 

He was comfortable staying out of the newer cases too. “I joined SVU in the beginning because I wanted to not only close this ring down to stop more teenagers being abducted, but also to close the missing case we had. There is more to do there, as there is still one missing kid we haven’t found anything out about. The chances are she’s dead, but I want to find out for sure, give her family some closure.” Martin knew his time with SVU was limited, so wanted to spend some time on this if he could, as otherwise they might never get an answer.

 

“Okay, as long as you’re sure. How about Alex telling Liv about your previous addiction?” Rafael wanted to confirm all this so they could stop discussing work.

 

“Yes, that’s fine. It makes sense. I’d prefer everyone not to know, but Nick does already as we were discussing pain relief at the hospital.”

 

“Great. Can we stop talking about work now, please? Tell me what’s been going on with you today.” Rafael pleaded. Martin had wanted to know all about how the case was going, so they hadn’t had any personal conversation yet.

 

Martin laughed. “Sure. Well, mom went home finally just after lunch, so since then I’ve been enjoying the delights of daytime TV. Viv from missing persons dropped round too to see how I am doing. They were obviously having a slow day at the FBI.”

 

“How’s your arm doing?”

 

“It’s definitely improving. Less pain overall and I can move it without it being anywhere near as painful as it was. Getting dressed and general moving around is enough at the moment though. I can’t actually use it yet. The bruise from the vest shot is turning lovely colours too.”

 

“I bet. When do you have your check-up?”

 

“Wednesday morning. If everything checks out I will be able to go to work Thursday, but obviously just desk duty and I’ll be very limited as to what I can do with one arm. I’ll be bored stiff by then though, so just getting out of the apartment will be good.” Martin was starting to feel frustrated and bored already, and it was only Monday night. He yawned, which Rafael heard.

 

“You’d better go to bed, and so had I. I’ve got an early meeting then court tomorrow, so I’ll have this phone switched off until I’ve finished for the day, but I’ll ring you again tomorrow night.”

 

“I’ll look forward to it. Have a good day in court, and sleep well.” Martin was improving, but too slowly for his liking. He had been enjoying the regular calls with Rafael, but wanted more. He wanted to see him, which wouldn’t happen until he was back at work.

 

***

 

Alex arranged to meet Liv for coffee early Tuesday morning, and told her about Martin’s previous addiction problem. Liv agreed that keeping Martin to the older cases was best, especially as they were likely to complete the newer raids and arrests before he was even in a position to be involved, depending how quickly he made it back to work. She had been really happy with the work he had done while he was working with SVU and commented that it would be useful to have a contact in the FBI who understood their work and may be able to help them in the future.

 

The next day, the SVU squad did a raid of the first of the buyers, this time without any shots being fired. They rescued two young teenagers who were being kept and forced to perform in pornographic videos, and got them to the hospital while the two men involved were arrested. They even managed to get their mailing list, with addresses of over 100 men who had purchased the videos.

 

By Wednesday, Martin felt as if he was going stir crazy. His arm had improved a lot the last two days, and now he felt as if he was really recovering. He still couldn’t really use it, but could move around and do things without his injured arm hurting more. The doctor agreed and confirmed there was no sign of infection. Another week and he could have the stitches out. In the meantime he could go to work, but on very restricted duty. When he started to feel up to it, he should do some gentle exercises on his arm, as the muscle had been damaged and would need building up again.

 

That night, Martin rang Rafael when he guessed the other man had just gotten ready for bed and surprised him with a very detailed and erotic description of what he wanted to do to him once they were able to see each other again. Judging by the heavy breathing down the phone, Martin could tell that this call was having the desired effect. He encouraged Rafael to jerk off, and did the same thing himself, although it was difficult for him to hold the phone to his ear with his injured hand while he used his right hand to pleasure himself. It didn’t take either man long to come, as their arousal had been built up by the moans and sounds of flesh on flesh through the phone line, and both men proved they had a good imagination and were turned on by talking dirty. By the time they got off the phone, both men were grinning and feeling very satisfied.

 

Thursday morning saw Martin back at SVU, a bit later than he normally would have been there, but it was still taking him too long to get ready in the morning due to his injury. The squad welcomed him back and set him up with the file of the missing girl he wanted to find, and those of the rose tattoo gang who they knew had bought her. He started with the computer records and spent the day going through those, to try and determine when she had been working for them and when she had stopped. He also went with Amanda to speak to the women who had been bought by the gang, to see if they knew what had happened to her. He had some leads to follow up by the end of the day, and was satisfied, if tired. Being back at work had hurt his arm more than he expected, even though he hadn’t been using it.

 

Rafael had been in court for the start of the trial of the gang that Martin was still investigating. Today would be jury selection, and any last minute motions that needed decisions before opening statements. Alex would be in court when they started to present their case, but in the meantime was working on the ongoing cases, and spent a couple of hours with Martin on Friday morning, preparing his testimony. She expected he would be needed on the stand on Tuesday.  

 

They had all the evidence they needed to get warrants for the remaining two buyers by Friday lunchtime, so the SVU squad with NYPD backup raided both locations that day. Martin felt bad at being left behind, but on the other hand he didn’t want to be involved in these cases, and also knew he would just be a liability in the field. He told the team to be careful, knowing far too well how quickly a seemingly routine bust could turn lethal, and he worried until he heard over the radio that they were all safe, and the suspects in custody. Two more teenagers had been recovered, one at each place. The men who had bought these girls had done so for their own private use. One had been kept in a lock-up, and the other in the basement of the man’s house. Both had been raped repeatedly, and were now in hospital. The cases against both men were solid, with plenty of forensic evidence at the scenes to incriminate them, plus the testimony of the girls themselves. They weren’t from New York, but their families had been notified and were on their way.

 

It had been a successful day, and was the culmination of the cases, with the guilty men all finally in custody. All that remained was more paperwork and the trials. The SVU squad decided they should celebrate their success, so all headed off to the local bar for food and drinks, making sure to take Martin too. They hadn’t been there long before Alex and Rafael joined them, having been invited by Olivia.

 

Rafael managed to get a seat next to Martin and the two men devoured each other with their eyes, although they tried not to let anyone see them staring. Although they had spoken on the phone every day, usually a few times a day, they hadn’t actually seen each other for a week. Alex tried to distract anyone who got too interested in the two men and this worked pretty well, or so she thought. But when she went to get another drink an hour later, she was cornered by Olivia at the bar.

 

“Okay Alex, talk to me. What’s going on with those two?” Liv nodded towards Rafael and Martin who were deep in conversation in the corner of the booth being occupied by their group. 

 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Alex replied, trying to look innocent.

 

Olivia sighed. “I’ve never known Jack to assign two ADAs to one SVU case before, and those two seemed to be avoiding each other, or at least didn’t have anything to do with each other, yet here they are acting like best buddies. There’s a lot about these cases that doesn’t make sense. I thought maybe there had been an issue in the past and they didn’t get on, but that’s obviously not the problem. So tell me. You know I’ll keep digging until I find out.”

 

Alex looked at her friend. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her, or thought that she would have a problem with either Rafael or Martin being gay, but it wasn’t her place to out either man, especially as Rafael worked all the time with Olivia. “I really can’t tell you anything, Liv. If you feel you really must know, I suggest you ask Rafael. He can fill you in if he wants to.”

 

Liv saw the determination on Alex’s face and realized she wasn’t going to get an answer. “Fine. I will ask him.” She picked up her drink and went back to the table to talk to Fin and Nick, while Alex looked at Rafael and Martin again. She thought she’d better break them up before anyone else commented. If they were trying to be discrete, they weren’t succeeding. So she went and joined them and after a lively conversation about music, she pointed out in a low voice that Liv had asked her about the two of them, and they should probably make more of an effort to talk to other people if they didn’t want anyone else to notice they were monopolizing each other’s attention. Rafael sighed, but got up to get another drink and didn’t come back to the same seat, but chatted to Amanda instead. Alex carried on talking to Martin.

 

The rest of the evening was enjoyable for all the squad, with both Martin and Rafael making an effort to speak to everyone in the group. Both of them kept tabs on each other though, and kept making eye contact with each other. When the end of the night came and the group parted to make their way home, Rafael offered to share a cab with Alex and Martin, as Liv and Nick were going in the opposite direction, and Fin and Amanda were staying for another drink. Alex laughed as they got in the cab. “I assume I’m being dropped off first?” she commented, before giving the driver her address. The two men said goodnight to her as she got out of the cab with a cheeky “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” and a wink.

 

The two men looked at each other, and then Rafael gave the driver Martin’s address. They were silent as they drove there, although their hands brushed on the seat between them. Once they arrived, both men got out, with Rafael commenting that he would walk from there as he paid, purely for the driver’s benefit.

 

They walked up to Martin’s apartment, and he let them in. Once they both got into the tidy lounge, they took off their coats before moving closer and wrapping their arms around each other. “God, I’ve missed this so much,” Rafael groaned as he inhaled the smell of Martin’s skin as he nuzzled his neck, before he moved up for a kiss. Martin felt the same way, which was obvious from his reaction, and within minutes they were both hard and panting. Martin led the way to his bedroom and both men sat on the bed.

 

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Martin asked.

 

Rafael looked at him. “No, but I can’t resist any more. No one knows I’m here, and we’ve been very good up to now. I’m not suggesting we get together every night, but I need to see you, and touch you. I’ve no plans this weekend so if I spend some time here, no one will be the wiser.”

   

Martin turned towards him and smiled. “Good. Same here about having no plans. So does this mean you want to stay?”

 

Rafael reached for Martin again, and kissed him lingeringly before answering; “as long as I can before you kick me out, or I have to go to work.” He carried on kissing Martin again, this time letting the passion he was feeling show, but being very careful not to get anywhere near his injured arm. After a few minutes, they pulled apart. “How about we get naked?” he suggested, and at Martin’s nod, he took off his own clothes quickly, before moving back to the bed to help Martin with his, as he was finding it much more difficult to do because of his arm.

 

Rafael studied the bandage on Martin’s arm before looking down at the multicolored bruise on his abdomen, and kissing it tenderly. They both lay down, holding each other, and both being very careful of Martin’s injury. “So, I realize you have limited movement, and I don’t want to do anything to hurt you, so what do you want to do tonight?”

 

Martin shrugged. “I don‘t know. I really haven’t thought about it. I wasn’t expecting this to happen tonight.”

 

Rafael grinned at him. “I’ve been thinking about it for days, ever since you proved the other night that getting off was okay with you and your injury. Even if we hadn’t ended up going out tonight, I was planning to see you. I’m guessing that you lying down would be best to avoid your arm moving, but what we do is up to you. All the same options from last time we were together like this are open to you. Do you want a hand job, a blowjob, or you can fuck me again if you want, with me on top this time to make it easier on your arm.”

 

“After three weeks without us being together, all of them sound good. But I’d like us to both come together if we can this time, and it’ll be a bit more difficult for me to give you a hand job or a blowjob with my arm like this.” Martin wanted to see Rafael come, and unlike the last couple of times they had been together, he wanted them to both get off at the same time. He watched as Rafael smirked at him then hopped off the bed to rummage in his vest pocket, coming up with a small tube of lube and a strip of condoms. Martin laughed. “You were expecting me to say that, weren’t you?”

 

Rafael grinned at him. “I was hopeful, and it’s always best to be prepared.”

 

Martin held out his hand for the tube of lube. “Give that here. I want to prepare you this time. Just tell me what to do.” He watched as Rafael lay down on top of him, supporting his weight so it wasn’t all on Martin, and kissed him, pressing his hips down so their groins met. Both men sighed as their erections brushed against each other. It had been too long since they had last had this.

 

Rafael spread his legs and told Martin what to do, then set about kissing him as the inexperienced man moved his good hand down over Rafael’s ass and delved into the crack. He easily found the entrance to his body and gently pushed one lube-covered finger inside. Rafael groaned. “Go on, that feels so good.” Martin moved the finger in and out for a minute before adding a second one, and then after that a third.

 

“Tell me how to find your prostate,” Martin murmured between kisses. He hadn’t expected to feel so turned on by doing this, as when he had got bored a few days ago and done some research online he had thought it sounded rather clinical and unarousing. Rafael told him, and Martin moved his fingers inside until he found the hard nub, and rubbed it. Rafael’s reaction told him that he had found what he was looking for, and he kept stimulating it on each thrust of his fingers until Rafael stopped him.

 

“Stop, stop. I’ll come if you don’t, and I want you to be inside me this time when I do.” Martin reluctantly removed his fingers while Rafael reached for the condom, and put it on Martin, before adding some lube to cover it. He then moved so he was sat above Martin’s groin, holding the very hard cock upright while he slowly sank down until he was sitting on it.

 

Martin gasped at the sensation of heat and tightness which he remembered from last time, and waited until Rafael started to move before he started thrusting upwards, keeping in time with Rafael’s movements. They couldn’t really kiss in this position, but they kept their gazes on each other, both reading the passion in each other’s eyes. Rafael reached down and took his cock in his hand, but when Martin spotted what he was doing, he took over, and the slickness of his lube-covered fingers made it easy for him to jerk Rafael off in time with the movement of their hips.

 

They didn’t last long. After three weeks of build up to this moment, their passion took over, and their bodies thrust against each other urgently as they got closer to their peaks. Rafael came first, gasping Martin’s name, and his come spurted over Martin’s chest and abdomen, and the look on his face was the thing that tipped Martin over the edge, as he came deep inside his lover.

 

Rafael was careful not to collapse down onto Martin, but to pull off, keeping the condom in place until he could remove it and tie it off. He then used the tissues that Martin handed to him to clean them both up, before carefully settling on to his side, away from Martin’s injured arm.

 

“How are you? Was that okay for your arm, or do you need any painkillers?” Rafael asked.

 

Martin laughed. “That was great, and my arm is fine. I think with those endorphins in my body I won’t need any painkillers for a bit, thanks.” He went to brush his hand against Rafael’s face then realized it was still a bit sticky from lube. “I think I could do with a shower though. Tissues don’t really do the trick. My shower is a bit small, but you could help me wash my back if you want to join me?” he asked.

 

Rafael grinned. “Try to stop me.” He got up from the bed and gave Martin a hand up then he followed his host to the bathroom, enjoying the view of his naked behind on the way. Martin picked up a waterproof sleeve which he put over his bandage, with Rafael’s help, and then they got into the shower when it was warmed up.

 

They spent quite a while in the shower, with Rafael taking great pleasure in washing every inch of Martin’s body, other than his injury, and then Martin returning the favor, albeit with only one hand. They eventually got out and toweled dry before heading back to bed. Neither man had good enough recovery time for them to be able to get hard again, but they didn’t seem to be able to get enough of touching the other. They cuddled up in bed together, with Rafael curled into Martin’s right side, and fell asleep like that.

 

***

 

When Rafael woke up in the morning, he realized that Martin was already awake and watching him. He smiled. He would like to wake up like this every day. “Good morning,” he commented. “How are you feeling?”

 

Martin smiled back. “Much better for having you in my bed. I must admit my arm is hurting now though, so I should take some painkillers.”

 

Rafael immediately got up and asked where they were, before rushing off to get them and a glass of orange juice from the fridge. He also put the coffee on. “I could get used to being waited on like this,” Martin said as he took two tablets, before thanking Rafael with a kiss. Rafael didn’t need much encouragement to get back into bed, and the two men made out for long minutes before the smell of coffee tempted Rafael into getting up again to get them both drinks.

 

They sat in bed drinking and talking until they finished their coffee, and then Martin pulled Rafael close to him again to continue making out. Both men were hard and ready for more, and before Rafael could even ask the now expected question, Martin answered it. “I can see how much you enjoyed having my fingers inside you, stimulating your prostate. I want to know what that’s like. I’m not ready for more than that, I don’t think, but I want to know what I’m missing; see if it turns me on like it does you.” 

 

“Are you sure?” Rafael checked. “There’s no pressure to do more than you’ve already done, especially when you’re injured.” He couldn’t deny that he was happy that Martin wanted to continue to expand his sexual experiences, but didn’t want him to feel he had to do this.

 

“I’m positive. You’ve made me curious.”

 

“Okay. Probably the best way to do that is if I give you a blowjob at the same time. Do you want me to do that?” Rafael was feeling turned on at just the thought of touching Martin this way.

 

Martin nodded, and passed Rafael the tube of lube. Rafael kissed him then settled down between Martin’s legs, licking his cock and taking it into his mouth and sucking before opening up the tube and slicking up a couple of fingers of his right hand. He used his left hand on the base of Martin’s cock and his tongue to stimulate the head while he slowly moved his right hand lower, first caressing Martin’s balls, then moving further down to find his entrance. He stroked it with one finger but made no effort to push inside yet.

 

Rafael looked up to catch Martin’s eyes, and told him “Tell me to stop or slow down at any point. When I push in with my finger, you push out, and keep breathing. Try not to tense up or it will hurt.” He waited until he saw Martin nod, before going back to what he was doing. He deep throated Martin once before pulling back, and then he slowly pushed his finger forward until it slipped inside the opening. “Good, you’re doing really well. I’m not going to do more than move it in and out. Just get used to that.”

 

Rafael suited his actions to his words and moved his finger in and out slowly then more quickly, making no attempt to do more. When he felt Martin start to push towards his finger and his muscles relax a bit, he told the other man that he was going to add another finger, if he was ready for it. Again he waited for a nod before carrying on. He saw Martin’s face scrunch up for a second in discomfort before he pushed outwards and the fingers easily slid inside. Rafael thrust both fingers in and out while continuing to suck the head of Martin’s cock for a few minutes. Then he started moving his fingers deeper and upwards, towards Martin’s abdomen, watching his face as he did so. He didn’t see any discomfort, just arousal, and when he found Martin’s prostate and pressed it, the reaction he got was all he could have hoped for. Martin arched his back and gasped, “Again, do it again,” so Rafael did.

 

“And that’s what prostate stimulation feels like,” he told Martin with a grin, as he repeatedly stroked the little gland before pulling back to thrust his fingers in and out again, this time making sure to press the prostate with each thrust. Martin widened his legs and pushed down in to the hand inside him, and Rafael could see him getting closer with each thrust. Martin was totally out of it by this point, overcome with his arousal, so Rafael sucked his cock back and deep throated him, swallowing then humming as he continued moving his hand in Martin’s ass. Within seconds Martin was coming, and Rafael swallowed everything before pulling his hand and mouth off the sated man. Just seeing Martin’s reaction had gotten Rafael close to the edge himself, so he took his cock in his hand and thrust into it a few times until he came, before using some tissues to wipe them both clean.

 

By the time Martin had recovered, Rafael was again cuddled close to his side. Martin opened his eyes and gazed at Rafael adoringly. “All these years I never knew how good that felt. You are going to fuck me next time aren’t you?” he asked, now convinced that he wanted to know what that felt like too.

 

Rafael grinned. “If you want me to. That’s a bit more difficult though. My fingers are smaller than my cock, so you may want to get used to taking those first. I’m glad you liked it.”

 

“Liked it! That’s an understatement.” Martin suddenly realized that he hadn’t done anything for his partner and sat up. “But what about you? I got off but you didn’t. What do you want me to do for you?” he asked.

 

Rafael pulled Martin back down to lying in the bed. “Nothing. I came too, pretty soon after you did. I couldn’t last after seeing you like that.” Rafael could feel his eyes closing and cuddled closer to Martin. A nap would be good right about now.

 

Martin was a bit disgruntled that he hadn’t been able to do anything for Rafael, but saw the satisfied look on his face and relaxed into his arms. He could sleep too. It wasn’t as if they needed to get up or do anything.

 

***

 

By the time they woke up again and finally made it out of bed, it was lunchtime. Rafael took over in the kitchen and made them some omelets and stated his intention to make a Cuban dish for their dinner, having inspected Martin’s cupboards and freezer. Luckily Martin’s mom had stocked up before she left, so there was plenty of choice for them. They spent the afternoon watching a game on TV and chatting; just enjoying each other's company.

 

Dinner was excellent, with Martin appreciating Rafael’s cooking, especially as it wasn’t something he was good at himself. They had a bottle of wine between them with their meal, and then talked some more with music on. Rafael did check with Martin that he was happy to have him stay over again, conscious that they had gone from not seeing each other at all to spending the weekend together without any discussion. Martin confirmed that he was happy for Rafael to stay, and they discussed what they wanted in terms of a relationship, finding again that their thoughts were similar.

 

Both of them were ideally looking for a long-term relationship, and were willing to come out and take the hits to their careers if it meant they could be happy with the right person. This they already knew about each other following the discussion in Martin’s hospital room while Martin’s parents were there, but they had never actually had a conversation amongst themselves or figured out how they had both gotten to this realization.

 

They compared their childhoods and realized that even though they had very different backgrounds, they had both been unhappy growing up, though for different reasons. Rafael had grown up in a very poor immigrant family, and only managed to drag himself out of the Bronx by getting a Harvard scholarship. He hadn’t looked back. In contrast, Martin had grown up in a privileged, well-off family, always expected by his family to do the right thing to uphold the family name, no matter what he actually wanted himself.

 

They also discussed previous relationships. Rafael had had a teenaged relationship with Yelina but although he had loved her, he never really felt as though he desired her the way he should. He hadn’t hesitated to go to Harvard and leave her behind, and although he had been upset when he found she had started seeing Alejandro without telling him, he hadn’t been broken hearted. He had discovered at Harvard that it was men he really desired, and had a few brief relationships and one-night stands. This had continued when he had become a lawyer, as his career had been the most important thing for him. It was the one thing that would take him furthest away from his background, and that’s where his concentration and focus had been. Up to now.

 

Recently he had seen more of his friends and co-workers settle down, and found that his career wasn’t enough to satisfy him. The long working hours were wearing him down and he wanted more of a personal life, someone to share things with. Even though homosexual relationships were more accepted now, it was unlikely his career would go much further if he came out, and he couldn’t keep it secret if he wanted a relationship. He had debated it for some time without making any decision. But then he had met Martin. Now he had to make a choice between a relationship and his career, which he had made; his potential relationship with Martin had won out.

 

Martin felt such a rush of affection when Rafael had finished opening up to him and told him this. He took the other man in his arms and kissed him, trying to express through his actions what he couldn’t put into words. Then he pulled away a bit, knowing he had to be just as honest with Rafael.

 

He told Rafael about his relationships, none of which had been particularly serious. He also talked about his team-mates at missing persons. He explained that he had gotten involved with Samantha, but she had been still hung up on Jack, and had never really given them a chance, refusing to even be seen in public with him, never mind telling their friends and workmates about their relationship.

 

Martin took a deep breath and had another sip of his drink before he started talking about Danny. “Danny Taylor is another team-mate, who I’ve worked with for 7 years. He hated me for the first year, but gradually we became good friends. I started to develop feelings for him but was in denial for a long time. Even when I did realize what my feelings were, I chickened out of doing anything about it. He’s only ever mentioned women, so I don’t know if he would have been interested in me anyway, but I never found out.”

 

Rafael stayed quiet and just listened. He could tell from Martin’s face that this was difficult for him. “When I got shot, Danny was with me and kept me alive until the ambulance arrived, and luckily for him, he wasn’t injured, but as you know, I nearly died. After that I started to reassess my life and realized I wanted more, and that I should find out if Danny was interested rather than being a coward. But I never got the chance. By the time I was back in work and had got my friendship with Danny back to where it had been before, I got injured and ended up addicted to drugs.” 

 

“Ironically it was Samantha and Danny who cared enough to notice and got me help, and into NA, but after that I had to concentrate on getting clean. You’re advised not to get involved in a relationship for a year after joining the program, and by that time Danny was involved with Elena, the newest member of missing persons.” Martin looked at Rafael, and saw only sympathy in his eyes. “Danny and Elena got married last month. I decided I needed to move on and also to figure out if I really was interested in men or not. That’s when I joined the club. I had also asked Jack to be reassigned so I could have a break from missing persons, so when this case came up, it was perfect for me.”

 

Rafael sighed and then leaned forward and kissed Martin. “It’s never easy when you have unrequited feelings for someone. Have you seen Danny since we met?”

 

“No. They were on their honeymoon and by the time they got back, I was working with SVU.” He could tell what Rafael was concerned about, and knew he didn’t have to worry, but wasn’t sure how to convince him of that. He kissed Rafael and looked into his eyes. “My feelings for Danny don’t compare for how I feel about you, even with the short space of time we’ve been together. Do you really think that I would have done the things I have with you, or disclosed to my parents if I didn’t know what I feel for you is strong and real? I haven’t even thought about Danny in the last few weeks. My life is with you now; Danny is the past, and you are my future.” Martin looked at Rafael and let his feelings show, and saw in Rafael’s eyes that he believed him.

 

They pulled together for a kiss, realizing that they had both had enough of talking for one night. They had both revealed a lot about each other, and also some strong feelings, and now wanted to show each other how they felt physically. They ended up making out on the couch, before Martin suggested they move things to the bedroom. Rafael happily agreed, and within a few minutes they were naked on the bed, both hard and ready to take things further.

 

Martin pulled away from their kiss to breathe, and looked at Rafael. “What I said this morning, about wanting you inside me; I still want that. I want you to make love to me.” Rafael smiled at Martin when he described what he wanted that way. Up to now, they had talked about ‘fucking’ not ‘making love’. He couldn’t deny what they were doing was closer to the latter description though, and his feelings were much closer to love than he was comfortable with, considering the short duration of their relationship.

 

“I’m happy to make love to you. But like I said this morning, it won’t be easy, and you’d probably be better waiting a bit, and getting used to my fingers first.” Before he even finished talking, Martin was shaking his head and looking determined.

 

“No. I don’t want to wait. We both know that after this weekend we will have to stay apart until after the trial is over. I want to do this, and have it to remember until we can be together again.” Martin tried to convince Rafael this was definitely what he wanted.      

 

Rafael wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. “I know, but it won’t be forever. This trial will be over then we can be together. There’s no rush. I want your first time to be good, to be a great memory for you.”   

   
Martin kissed him, then stroked his face and looked into his eyes. “Then make it great for me. Considering how good it was this morning, I’m sure it will be. I realize it might be uncomfortable or hurt to start with. But I also know that feeling will subside and in the end it will be great.” Martin could see he was getting through to Rafael. “Since this started, you’ve always said that what we did was up to me. This is what I want. Please Rafael.”

 

Rafael sighed. He had done his best to get Martin to wait, but honestly, he wanted to make love to him, which made it difficult for him to say no. He had always followed Martin’s lead in bed because he was the inexperienced one, and he would continue to do so. “Okay, but we do this my way. You need to be relaxed first, so I’ll give you a blowjob and open you up before we try it.” Rafael could see that Martin was about to protest. “I am not going to give in on this. I had done this before and am used to relaxing, but still I found it uncomfortable the first time you first entered me, and that was after I had already come. There is no way I am going to do to do this any other way.”

 

Martin could see that Rafael had made up his mind, so he nodded. Rafael kissed him then moved further down the bed, settling down between Martin’s legs, and stroking his hard cock. Martin reached round and passed him the tube of lube. Rafael laughed. “You really are keen aren’t you?” Martin grinned at him.

 

Rafael took the top off and repeated what he had done this morning, using one finger before increasing to two, then stimulating his prostate. He noticed that Martin opened up faster than he had done that morning, and was finding it easier to relax. By the time Martin was writhing on the bed and panting, Rafael decided it was time for more. He warned Martin what he was about to do, checking he was okay with it before inserting three fingers slowly. It took a few minutes, and Rafael could see Martin struggling to relax, but he did, and soon was enthusiastically bearing down on the fingers stretching him.

 

This was the sign that Rafael had been looking for, and he concentrated on giving Martin more pleasure, and getting him to come. A minute later, Martin was coming down Rafael’s throat, before slumping on the bed, trying to get his breath back. Rafael reached up to the bedside table and grabbed one of the condoms and put it on, before lubing up. He had to squeeze the base of his cock before going any further as he was feeling so close to coming himself, and knew he needed to take himself further from the edge to be able to keep control.

 

Martin opened his eyes and looked at Rafael, now in position to enter him. “Are you still sure? We don’t have to do this, so tell me to stop at any point.”

 

Martin smiled and wrapped his legs round Rafael’s waist. “Do it. I want you to make love to me, now.”

 

Rafael nodded, and slowly pushed inwards, stopping as soon as the head of his cock was inside Martin. “Breathe, Martin, in and out, relax and try to push out. Just bear with it and it will get easier.” He could see that his lover was struggling, but then Martin opened his eyes and looked at Rafael, seeing the affection there, and it helped. He concentrated on relaxing and felt the pain easing, until he just felt uncomfortably stretched. He nodded at Rafael and smiled, and then felt Rafael push further inside him, going very slowing and carefully watching Martin’s face for any sign that he wanted him to stop. When he was fully inside, he stopped and didn’t move.

 

“How are you feeling?” Rafael asked gently.

 

“I feel really full, and uncomfortable, but it’s not painful now. I assume the worst is over now.” Martin queried.

 

Rafael smiled and nodded. “Oh yeah. It should be getting much better, very soon. Just relax for a minute, and get used to this feeling.” Martin took a deeper breath and ran the hand on his uninjured side down Rafael’s back and on to his backside, caressing it before getting impatient and thrusting his hips to get Rafael to start moving.

 

“You’ve no patience have you?” Rafael said jokingly, but gave in and gently rocked in and out of Martin, before lengthening his movements as he realized that Martin was okay with it. He was trying very hard to keep control of himself and go slowly, but it was very difficult. He moved position minutely with each thrust until he got the angle right and hit Martin’s prostate. Martin gasped and clutched Rafael closer and they started moving in sync, with Rafael hitting Martin’s prostate with each down stroke.

 

They speeded up but Rafael made sure to keep in control enough to ensure he didn’t touch Martin’s injured arm, and also to not give in to his desire to thrust hard into him. He didn’t want to risk hurting his arm, or leave him too sore the next day. Just the sensation of being inside of Martin was enough for him, and he knew that he was very close to coming. He didn’t hold back, but gave two more deep thrusts directly at Martin’s prostate before coming with a cry of Martin’s name.

 

Rafael held himself up with shaky arms long enough to remove the condom and wipe most of the lube away, then collapsed on Martin’s right side. He felt Martin stroke his sweaty hair back from his forehead and place a kiss there, and managed to open his eyes to look at Martin. “God, that was even better than I remember. Thank you. But are you okay?”

 

Martin nodded. “Yes, I’m fine. Once the pain went away it just got better and better. I wish I was younger so could have come again.” Rafael nuzzled into his side with his head resting on Martin’s shoulder, feeling the strong heartbeat and warm skin. He wondered how he ever could have considered his career more important than being close to someone like this. He never wanted to give this up.

 

Martin switched off the light by the bed and they went to sleep, without ever letting each other go.

 

***

 

Rafael woke up to feel Martin threading his fingers through his hair, and slowly stretched before lifting himself up so he could give Martin a morning kiss. They pulled apart and Rafael looked at Martin before asking, “How are you feeling today? Do you need some painkillers?”

 

Martin smiled. “I feel great, although I will need a dose of tablets I think. My arm is always stiff in the morning after not moving all night.”

 

“You may feel it when you do move, and I don’t mean in your arm,” he commented, with a glance down towards Martin’s ass.

 

Martin smiled at the reminder of what they had done, and leaned in to get another kiss. “So totally worth it,” he whispered.

 

Rafael pulled away reluctantly and got some tablets, along with juice and set the coffee maker going, then headed back to the bedroom.

 

Martin by this time had moved so he was sitting up in bed, and had realized what Rafael meant. He was definitely sore in the ass, something he wasn’t used to, although nothing he couldn’t take. It had definitely been worth it. He couldn’t believe that after all these years of sexual experiences with only women, he had taken to sex with a man so easily and found it such a turn-on. He suspected that the man himself had something to do with that though, as it was the affection between them just as much as the sex itself that made it so good.

 

Rafael saw the smile on Martin’s face as he passed him the juice and pills, which he took. “Not too sore I hope,” he queried.

 

Martin shook his head with a smile. “No. I may want to recover a bit before we do that again though.”

 

Rafael laughed. “I would definitely advise that. It does get easier though, as you get used to it, and you will find that you don’t get sore at all after practice.”

 

Martin smiled. “I’ll look forward to when we can get that practice.” His smile faded at the reminder that after today they would be staying apart until the trials were over that Martin was involved in.

 

Rafael took his hand. “Me too. I expect that the rose tattoo trial will be over this week, as it shouldn’t take that long. I’m not so sure about the other one though. They are less likely to ask for a speedy trial, and so that could drag on. They are also most likely to try to dig up dirt on anyone involved, so we need to be careful.”

 

Martin sighed. “I know. I’m prepared to wait; I just wish we didn’t have to. So I assume you’ll be in court all week.”

 

Rafael nodded. “Yes. From what Alex said, I am expecting to hear from Olivia and get the third degree about me and you too.” He smiled. “She’s a good interrogator, so I’m not looking forward to that.”

 

Martin looked at him assessingly. “You’re quite good friends with her aren’t you?”

 

“Yeah. We’re closer than the other people I work with. Why?”

 

“Well, if you want to tell her about us, I don’t mind. I know if I was in your position I’d want to tell my friend and not lie or obfuscate, which probably won’t work on her anyway, from what I’ve seen. So be honest. If you are willing to tell her, then I would assume she is trustworthy and also not prejudiced. She’ll find out anyway after the trials are over, so why damage your relationship with her in the meantime?” Martin could see the relief on Rafael’s face as he said this, so knew it was the right decision.

 

Rafael leaned in and gave Martin a lingering kiss. “Thanks, it would be nice if she knew, and I do hate lying to her. You’re right, there is no way she is prejudiced, and I know she wouldn’t say anything to anyone else.”

 

“Good, that’s decided then. Let me know how it goes with her though, please.” Rafael nodded.

 

Martin decided that although lounging in bed was nice, he was really in need of a shower, so suggested that to Rafael. He did notice that the pains in his ass got more noticeable as he got up and moved around more, something Rafael obviously guessed at, seeing the look on Martin’s face. He didn’t comment again though, just smirked.

 

In the shower, the two men got clean then were distracted. Martin had removed his bandage this time, telling Rafael he had been told to change it every few days, so it was the first time Rafael had seen the neat line of black stitches along Martin’s bicep. He kissed the scar, noticing the bruising around it which was starting to turn yellow now, then continued kissing Martin, moving up his shoulder to his neck where he found a sensitive spot that soon had the other man moaning.

 

Their kisses turned passionate, with their tongues tangling and their bodies thrusting against each other. There definitely wasn’t enough room in the shower to do much, but Rafael snaked one hand between them and grabbed both their cocks, using a handful of shower gel as lube to make it easier. The suds built up between them as he jerked them both off, and the shower was soon filled with the sounds of their passion. By the time they both came, the front of their bodies were covered with a mixture of their come and bubbles, which they quickly washed off before making their way out of the steamy bathroom.

 

They got dressed for the day, this time Rafael putting on his suit pants along with one of Martin’s t-shirts, knowing that the sweats he had borrowed the previous day weren’t suitable for him to go home in, and he would need to leave at some point for his own apartment. They changed the bedding and Rafael helped Martin apply a new bandage to his recovering wound before he again made them breakfast.

 

They spent the morning lounging around the apartment, discussing anything that came to mind, and never so far away from each other that they couldn’t touch, or kiss whenever either of them felt the need. But time moved on, and Rafael couldn’t leave it much longer. He had jobs to do at home that he needed to get done that day, and he also had some reading up to do before the trial the following day. He had an early start too, as Olivia had texted him asking him to meet her for coffee at 7.30am, before he had to be in court at 9. He knew what this was about, and so agreed. Reluctantly, he told Martin he needed to go, and after a long goodbye kiss, he finally managed to drag himself away and back to real life.

 

***  

 


	6. Chapter 6

The following morning, Rafael was prepared to face Liv. He felt much better about this meeting as he had Martin’s approval to tell her about them, and to be honest, it would be good to be able to discuss it with her. Alex was great, and had been very supportive, but she wasn’t a close friend like Liv was, although the time they were spending working together for this case had made them much closer than they had ever been before.

 

Rafael had gotten to the coffee shop before Olivia, and had bought her usual drink and was waiting at a corner table. He wanted to make sure they were away from anyone overhearing them considering what they were going to discuss. Liv walked in a couple of minutes later and apologised as she sat down and took off her damp coat.

 

She took a sip of her drink before inspecting the man sat before her, and considering how to approach the subject she wanted to discuss. He watched her, just waiting for her to start. He could see she was about to treat him as a hostile witness, which wasn’t necessary, so he decided to make it easy on her. He laughed, saying “Just ask me, Liv, and I’ll answer your questions.”

 

She relaxed her posture a bit, but looked curiously at him. This relaxed Barba was not what she was used to. Come to think of it, the grouchy and difficult, not to mention usually bad-tempered ADA hadn’t been in evidence for some time. There was obviously some reason for this change in attitude, so maybe she was going to find it out.

 

“You obviously know what I want to know, so why don’t you just tell me?”

 

Rafael smirked at her. “Maybe because it’s so much more fun to make you figure out the right questions to ask.”

 

Olivia sighed. Of course he wasn’t going to make it that easy on her. “I’ve never known Jack to assign two ADAs to a case before, even a big one like this, so there must be a reason. I assume it has something to do with you, as Alex hasn’t worked with us for some time.”

 

Rafael looked at her and answered “Yes.”

 

Olivia glared at him, and then realized he had answered the question she had asked him. Frustrating man! “What is that reason?”

 

Rafael turned more serious. “He wanted to make sure that there could be no questions about my bias in this case or any grounds for appeal or testimony being thrown out. It’s why he’s also asked for extra witnesses to make sure all testimony is backed up by a second source. I think he would have removed me from the case if it wouldn’t have looked bad for the DA’s office and for me.”

 

Olivia continued to look at him, waiting to hear the actual reason for these extra steps being taken. She realized he wasn’t going to tell her without her asking. “So why have these issues come up in this case in particular?”

 

“I disclosed an involvement with one of the witnesses in the case to Jack.” Rafael took a sip of his coffee and then met Olivia’s eyes, wanting to see her reaction.

 

She didn’t need to ask who the witness was. “Martin.” Rafael nodded.

 

“And what is the nature of your involvement?” she asked, although she had already guessed.

 

Rafael smiled. “We had started to see each other before we knew we were both involved in this case. When we did realize, I immediately disclosed to Jack and we stopped seeing each other, for the duration of this case.”

 

Olivia smirked at him. He immediately held up a hand to stop her. “Don’t say it, whatever you were about to say. I’m getting teased enough by Alex without you starting as well.”

 

She laughed. “So this is why ‘bastard Barba’ has taken a vacation and you’ve been so pleasant in the last few weeks. Martin’s obviously good for you. Is it serious, or is it just getting laid that’s making you so agreeable?”

 

Rafael choked on his coffee at that comment then glared at her. “Considering our relationship has been on hold, I haven’t exactly been getting laid as often as you might think. As for us, yes it feels serious to me, although we haven’t really seen enough of each other to say that yet.”

 

“He makes you happy,” she commented, seeing the light in his eyes as he talked about Martin.

 

Rafael smiled; a genuine smile she so rarely saw from him. “God yes, so happy. I haven’t felt like this before about anyone, and although it’s great, it’s also scary too. I’ve been concentrating on my career so much, to the exclusion of everything else, and now I just want to be with him, no matter what that means to my future in the DA’s office. I mean, two months ago I never would have even considered coming out to my boss, or Alex or you, but now I want to be able to be with Martin, in public, and I don’t mind who knows it.”

 

Olivia laughed. “Wow, I never would have believed it if I hadn’t seen this for myself. Rafael Barba in love.”

 

Rafael shook his head. “Don’t say that. Alex did too. But I’m not. It’s way too soon for that.”

 

“It might be soon in terms of time, but it’s how you feel isn’t it? You wouldn’t come out if it were just a crush, so you obviously feel strongly about him. Don’t deny how you feel, just enjoy it.”      

 

Rafael sighed. “Yes it is how I feel. But I’m so scared, Liv. I’m used to being in control of my life, of my emotions, but now it all revolves around him. What if he decides to walk away, rejects me, or something happens to him? I hate feeling so out of control, and knowing he has this power over me. Like you said, I’m a bad tempered bastard most of the time. How could he want to be with me?”

 

Olivia reached over the table and put one hand on his arm. “You’re not like that with him and that’s what’s important. You’re a good man and a good catch for the right person. Hopefully that person is Martin for you. I can imagine it’s difficult for you to feel this vulnerable, especially with someone you don’t know that well yet, but you’ve got to trust him if you want a relationship with him. Don’t forget that if he feels the same way, you have that same power over him, so he will be scared too. Treat him well and trust him, and he will do the same to you. Just give it a chance.”

 

Rafael looked up at her in gratitude. It was great to have a friend he could confide in like this. “Thanks Liv,” he whispered.

 

She could see how vulnerable he was feeling from his face, and realized she needed to get him back on an even keel before he went into court, so changed the subject. She asked him about the trial so she could figure out how to allocate the detectives between testifying in court and also continuing to work on the newer cases they needed to finish the paperwork for. By the time they separated, her to go to the 16th Precinct and him to court, they were both in work mode.

 

***

 

Rafael met Alex inside the court as she was putting out her files ready for the day ahead. The plan was to start with the background to the case, covering TARU techs who could verify the trail that led to the identification of the group, and then move on to the detectives who arrested the men, and finishing with the women to have the maximum impact. They expected the case to take most of the week including the defense.

 

Alex took one look at Rafael and laughed. “I can tell you had a good weekend!”

 

Rafael glared at her but the effect was ruined as he blushed at the same time. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t tell anything from just looking at my face.”

 

“That wasn’t a denial, counselor,” Alex added with a grin. “Come on; admit it, you spent the weekend with Martin after dropping me off at home on Friday night.”

 

Rafael ignored her and got out his papers, not looking at her.

 

“Still not a denial,” Alex added before sitting down behind the prosecution table.

 

Rafael sighed. “I don’t kiss and tell,” he told her.

 

“Oh go on, please do. I spent the weekend with my uncle so it would be great to live vicariously through your love life, as I don’t have one of my own,” Alex coaxed.

 

Rafael looked at her and gave in. “Yes, I spent most of the weekend with Martin, and we got on great. Even just talking and sharing a meal together was really nice after barely being able to even talk to each other in person for weeks. We watched a game on TV and shared our past. It was a lovely weekend, really romantic. And before you ask – no I am not giving you any details about our sex life.”

 

Alex smiled. “I’m glad you had a good weekend. I’ll just have to use my imagination to fill in the gaps!” Rafael rolled his eyes at her but couldn’t keep the grin off his face.

 

Just then the court personnel came in and they got to work.

 

*** 

 

Liv got to the precinct and headed into her office. She saw Martin sat at the desk outside and wasn’t sure whether to say anything to him about her conversation with Barba. She assumed that he would have known that they were meeting up this morning. She decided to play it by ear and see if the opportunity came up. It did later that day.

 

Martin had had no success with the computer records and limited help from the girls; one of them remembered the missing girl, Laura, but didn’t know what happened to her. She did hearing shouting from one of the men around the time Laura was last seen, and the sounds of crying and someone being beaten. She didn’t know which of the men it was though, and wasn’t sure if it was Laura being beaten up or not. So he wanted to go and speak to the men, try and get one of them to talk. They knew from their lawyer that the evidence against them was pretty strong, and it was very likely they would be convicted. He hoped than if they offered to tell the judge that they co-operated, which would potentially reduce their sentence, that it would be enough to get convince them. He really wanted to get an answer for Laura’s family. 

 

He wasn’t sure quite how to go about it though. As the case had gone to trial already, the men were in court all day, so it was difficult to get chance to talk to them. So he went to Olivia and explained his problem. She agreed that it was their best shot at getting the men to cooperate, and decided to contact Rafael and ask him to ring her when he could. He rang back during a break, and they discussed it. Rafael agreed that discussing it with them and their lawyers during the lunch break was worth a shot.

 

When Rafael rung to say they were recessing for lunch, Olivia and Martin set off for the court, and met up with Alex and Rafael in a free office. Rafael had spoken to the lawyers representing the men on trial, and they had agreed to meet up.

 

Rafael did the talking, and pointed out the likelihood of them being convicted, what they were willing to offer in exchange for information to the first man to come forward, and then passed over to Martin who got out the photo of Laura and told them what they wanted to know. Olivia finished off by pointing out that they needed to verify any information they were given before the end of the trial if the men were to benefit from it. Then they left the lawyers to discuss it with their clients. All they could do now was wait. It wasn’t long before they had to be back in court, so Martin and Olivia left so the two ADAs had time to get some food before the recess was over. Olivia had watched Rafael and Martin to see if she could see any sign of their relationship in how they were acting. She couldn’t; they were totally professional.

 

But on the way back to Precinct 16 they got stuck in traffic, so she decided to mention it to Martin. She liked him and he had fitted in with the squad, as well as working very hard while he had been with SVU. He definitely was an asset and she was sorry that he would be going back to the FBI soon. But Rafael she had worked with for two years, and would continue to work with, and he was a friend. So her loyalty was with him.

 

“So, I met up with Rafael for coffee this morning before he was due in court,” she started.

 

Martin looked at her, and decided to be straight and not play ignorant. “I know. He told me that he was going to meet you, and what he was probably going to tell you about us. He also texted me on the way to court after he saw you.” He took a deep breath. “Look, let’s not beat around the bush here. You know that we are in a relationship and why Alex has been brought in, and extra witnesses. I’m sorry that our involvement has caused hassles and potential problems with this case, but I’m not sorry for our relationship. We haven’t had chance to spend enough time with each other yet, but so far it’s going really well, and I want it to continue, very much, once these trials are over.”

 

Olivia looked at Martin and saw the affection in his eyes as he talked about Rafael, and after years of interviewing suspects, she trusted her intuition, which told her that Martin was telling her the truth. He really did care for Rafael. She smiled at him. “I’m glad to hear that. Look, it’s your relationship and none of my business, especially as you are likely to be going back to the FBI soon, so I’m not going to but in. But as a good friend of Rafael’s, I am concerned. He obviously really cares for you and I don’t want to see him hurt. I know there is never any guarantee in relationships, but I want you to promise me that you will be honest with him, and do your best to make it work. He’s spent so much of his time at work that it’s rare for him to get involved with anyone. He’s likely to get very attached, very quickly. I don’t want to see him heart-broken and have to try and put the pieces together if it goes wrong.”

 

Martin realized how serious Olivia was, and that she was just trying to protect her friend. He was glad Rafael had such a good friend on his side, but was sure that it wouldn’t be necessary. He looked her in the eye and replied. “I promise I will do my best to not hurt Rafael. I care about him, a lot, and have gotten very attached to him too. I am planning to do everything I can to make this relationship work. You can trust me.”

 

Olivia met Martin’s eyes again and saw the sincerity there. She smiled. “I do trust you. Thank you for being honest with me. I really do hope it works out between the two of you.”  Just then the traffic cleared so she continued driving, and they went back to work.

 

***

The afternoon in court went well, for the prosecution at least, although the defense team looked rather glum. Rafael was pretty sure that they would get one of the men to give up what happened to Laura when they realized how likely it was that they were all going to jail for a very long time.

 

When they got out of the courtroom, they checked their messages, and found one from Jack, asking them to come to his office. It wasn’t usual for the DA to call them in, mid-trial, so it must be important. They went and didn’t have to wait long outside his office before he called them in.

 

Rafael and Alex sat in front of his desk as he asked them for an update on the day’s proceedings. They filled him in and then waited. They knew this wasn’t why they had been asked to come and see him.

 

“I got a visit from the FBI today,” Jack said. Rafael’s first concern was that it was about Martin, or him and Martin, but it wasn’t. “They have become involved in the case of the abductors, thanks to them abducting teenagers from different states. It made it easier for them to go undetected as the missing children were in different jurisdictions, but it also has meant that it is now a federal case. They want to prosecute the case, and to be honest, they have more resources than we have. Too many of our cases are going to trial this year and taking way too long to resolve. So as they want the case, I’ve agreed. We will get credit for the take-down and also get the buyers cases as they bought the girls and were using them here in New York, but as of now, you’re off the abductors case.

 

Rafael was irritated by this. “So we do all the work, find these guys, take them down and prepare for trial, only for the Feds to swoop down and take over. That’s not on Jack! Let them do all the grunt work if they want the high profile cases, not pinch ours!”

 

Jack looked at him calmly, before smiling. “Frankly I would have thought you would be happier about this Rafael. It reduces your workload and also means that you can get back to enjoying your…private life…that much sooner.”

 

This hadn’t actually occurred to Rafael. If he was off the case, then there was no conflict between him and Martin, so as soon as he had finished this trial, there was nothing to stand in their way. He managed to keep the smile off this face, but Alex saw the spark in his eyes anyway.

 

“I can see where Rafael’s coming from. I understand that it’s a federal case, but still SVU have done all the work on it, and even shed blood to get these men into custody. It’s frustrating for us to have to hand it all over at this point.”

 

“From what I understand it’s Federal blood that was shed, as it was Agent Fitzgerald of the FBI that got shot last week. How is he by the way?” He looked at Rafael to get the answer to that question.

 

Rafael swallowed hard at the memory of Martin in the hospital. “He’s doing well, back at work and should be testifying tomorrow morning.”

 

“I’m glad to hear it. Look, I understand how you feel, as I felt the same way more than once when I was in your position. But the decision is made, and we’ve enough work to do. If I can get rid of some of the workload to the FBI then it makes sense to do so, especially when I wouldn’t win even if I did try to fight it. The main thing is that these guys are going down for what they did.” Jack remembered very well what it felt like when the DA went over his head and re-allocated cases, but it was part of his job to balance the budget, and make sure that they worked well with the FBI. They were both on the same side, after all.

 

Rafael and Alex didn’t have anything else to say, so Jack wished them well for the rest of the trial and they left. They decided to get dinner at a local restaurant that they often went to, and discussed progress with the trial and their game plan for the next day, plus grumbled a bit about Jack’s decision before calling it a night.

 

Rafael got home and changed, then rang Martin to fill him in on Jack’s news. It didn’t bother him so much, not surprisingly, as he worked for the FBI, but hearing that the main thing standing in the way of them getting on with their relationship was now out of the way made him very happy. Rafael could feel his resentment of Jack falling away as he really considered what this decision would mean for him and Martin. He expected this trial to be over by the weekend, so they could be together again, and this time be seen together in public. Rafael couldn’t wait, and neither could Martin. They started making plans as they hadn’t been able to before, not knowing how long it would be before they could spend time together.

 

***

 

The next day Martin spent a few boring hours sat outside the court, waiting to be called as a witness. He had been through this many times before so he wasn’t bothered by it, and had brought a book to read while waiting. He found it difficult to concentrate though, as he was still thinking about Rafael and what they would be able to do together after this trial was over. He was looking forward to seeing him in action in the courtroom too, not having been able to sit in for any of it so far as he hadn’t yet testified. But once he had finished his testimony, he would be able to see some of the rest of it, work permitting.

 

He got called in at 11am and Alex questioned him on how he had made the connections from the missing persons case the FBI had investigated, to the other cases that SVU had looked into. He explained how he had worked with SVU and TARU to find the men on trial, and also the interviews he had conducted. He tried not to look at Rafael, knowing he needed to concentrate and not be distracted, and was glad it was Alex that was questioning him.

 

The defense came next, and they asked him pretty normal questions, nothing he hadn’t expected, and nothing that he had trouble answering. They didn’t manage to trap him into saying anything that would hurt their case, and they never brought up anything to do with his personal life, not his previous drug problem or Rafael. It was a bit anticlimactic really. He was released from the stand and the judge decided that it was time to recess for lunch.

 

Alex was just about to suggest that the three of them got a quick bite to eat when the defence attorney for one of the men, Mark Adler, came forward and told them that her client wanted to co-operate and tell them what he knew about Laura, the girl who was still missing. So instead of lunch, they met with Mark Adler and he told them that it was one of the other men, Gerard Barrett, who had had the argument and beat Laura with a pipe because she had refused to service one of the clients. Mark said that he hadn’t seen what had happened to her, but from what Gerard had said, he had killed her and dumped her body. Mark did say that Gerard had come in later that day with white sediment on his shoes, which he recognized from a deserted factory that they had previously used. He suspected the body had been dumped there. He gave up the address, and Martin took it and headed back to SVU to organize a search team.

 

By 5pm that day, a decomposing body had been discovered locked in one of the basement rooms of the building. It would take time to match her dental records, but they expected it would confirm that the body was that of their missing teenager, Laura. Martin spoke to the ME who was going to rush the dental match, and by 10am the next morning, they had their confirmation. Martin set out with Liv to give the news to her family. This was not a part of the job he liked doing, but he knew in the end it would give them closure. He had seen from his years with missing persons that hope was more destructive than grief, so her family never knowing what had happened to her, and not having a body to bury, was worse in the long run than them dealing with this news.

 

Wednesday afternoon saw the defense starting their case, trying to defend their clients. Unfortunately for them, the evidence was overwhelming, and they hadn’t really been able to shake the testimony of the prosecution team. They had bought some expert witnesses who gave alternate theories of the crimes, but it was pretty weak really. The defense phase only lasted a day and a half, so by Friday morning, both sides had rested their cases, and there were only summations left, and then the jury to make their decision.

 

Martin and most of the SVU team were there for summations, and Martin watched with pride as Rafael summarized their overwhelming evidence. The defense did their best, but it seemed fairly obvious that they would be found guilty. The jury obviously didn’t find it a difficult decision either, as within two hours they had found them all guilty of all charges. The case was over; they had won.

 

It was decided that a celebration was in order, so they piled into one of their regular restaurants for a celebratory meal and drinks. It was also to be a ‘goodbye Martin’ night out, as Jack had called Olivia that day to ask for his agent back. They had struggled that week with a couple of big cases, and as Martin had solved their case by finding Laura, finished testifying, and wasn’t being used for the newest cases they were still investigating, Olivia had no excuse to keep Martin longer. So he would be back to the FBI on Monday.

 

Martin had mixed feelings about this. He knew it was right as his work at SVU was done, but he had enjoyed working with all the team there, as well as seeing Rafael occasionally at work. He knew the break had done him good though, not just in terms of getting over Danny, but getting away from missing persons had reminded him of why he went into it in the first place, and the good they did there. He was enthusiastic to get back, even though he would still be on desk duty until his arm was fully healed.

 

At the restaurant, Martin was again sat next to Rafael, and this time they weren’t making as much effort as they had before to conceal how well they got on, or how well they now knew each other. Liv and Alex were sat further down the table watching them. “Ahh, true love, isn’t it sweet,” Alex commented to her friend.

 

Olivia took a sip of her wine. “They do seem to be happy together. I’ve never seen Rafael like this before. I just hope it works out for them both. They are both good men and deserve to be with someone who makes them happy and understands them. Neither of them have easy jobs, so they need the support.”

 

Alex agreed. “Yes, but how come the nice dishy men always seem to be gay?”

 

Olivia raised her eyebrows. “Are you referring to Martin or Rafael there?”

 

“Martin; Rafael isn’t bad looking but he’s not my type. From what Rafael has said, Martin has only had relationships with women before, so I narrowly missed out there. I’m sure I could have convinced him that he shouldn’t give up on women and turn to men,” Alex said mischievously.  

 

Olivia laughed. “You keep telling yourself that. I agree that they are both nice looking though. You’ve been around them more than me. Ever walk in on them in a clinch in the last few weeks?”

 

Alex shook her head. “No, they’ve been pretty discreet. Rafael was cuddled up to Martin in the hospital though when I interrupted them as Martin’s parents had arrived. They looked cute together. Maybe now they can be more open as the case has closed we might get to see a PDA or two though.”

 

“You really are a voyeur, aren’t you?” Olivia asked, jokingly.

 

“Says the woman who asked me if I’d seen them in a clinch! You’re as bad as me, so don’t try to claim otherwise. ” Alex saw Olivia look sheepish and they both laughed before they went back to spying on the two men sat at the end of the table.

 

***

 

Rafael went to the restroom part way through the evening, having drunk far too much coffee during the day and also scotch that evening. On his way back out to the bar, he bumped into Martin on his way in. 

 

“I couldn’t wait any longer to be able to touch you,” Martin said as he put his arms around Rafael, having checked there was no one in the corridor that could see them.

 

Rafael grinned then pulled Martin in closer for a kiss. When they parted, Rafael commented, “the trial is over now – there is nothing to stop us being seen together, so we don’t need to skulk around bathrooms.”

 

Martin shrugged. “I realize that. But you’ve always kept in the closet at work and you work with these guys every day. I’m not about to out you. If you want to let them know about us, then that’s fine by me, but it’s your decision.”

 

Rafael thought for a minute. “I don’t mind them knowing. I’ve never seen any signs of homophobia from any of them. Let’s face it, Alex and Olivia know already, and the others probably won’t be surprised as we’re not doing a good job of keeping away from each other anyway.”

 

Martin smiled before pulling him in for another kiss. “As long as you’re sure. It’s a big step.”

 

“It’s one I’m prepared to make, for you.” Rafael gave Martin one last kiss before they parted; Martin to go and relieve himself, and Rafael to go to the bar then back to join the others.

 

When both men were back in their seats, they sat closer than they were before, so their thighs brushed each other’s. Rafael swapped his drink to his other hand, so his free hand was next to Martin, and then took his hand, twining their fingers together and resting their joined hands on his thigh. “Okay, let’s see how observant these detectives are when they’re off duty,” he murmured quietly to Martin.

 

Martin laughed. “I give it 5 minutes, but who do you think will the first to say something?”

 

Rafael considered the detectives sat around the table. “Other than Liv and Alex, who are both watching us carefully, I recon Fin will notice first, but won’t say anything. My guess would be Nick to say something, but it could be Amanda. I’m really not sure.”

 

Within a couple of minutes, Olivia spotted they were holding hands, and pointed it out to Alex. They just sat watching the show, waiting to see what would happen next.

 

As predicted by Rafael, Fin spotted they were closer and they saw his eyes drop to see they were holding hands. They saw a smirk on his face, and then he looked both Rafael and Martin in the eye and nodded at them. He didn’t say anything, but looked round to see who else had noticed. He could tell by Olivia’s face that she already knew about them, but Nick and Amanda were deep in conversation and hadn’t spotted anything going on yet.

 

A minute later Nick got up to go to the bar, and when he turned back with drinks, he was facing the two men, and stopped as he saw them together. Fin and Olivia were both watching to see what he would say, and Martin looked up and saw his face. He squeezed Rafael’s hand get his attention and Rafael looked around and saw Nick’s face.

 

Nick continued back to the table and then sat down, all without saying anything. He hadn’t taken his eyes off them though. “So, how long guys? I assume the trial’s why you’ve kept it secret up to now.” He was surprised, not so much that Rafael was gay, but that he had suddenly decided to come out. Martin he didn’t know enough to have been able to make any judgement about.

 

Rafael smiled. “It’s been about 6 weeks, but you’re right, with us both involved with this case, we’ve been trying to stay professional and haven’t spent much time together.”

 

Nick looked round and saw Olivia and Alex were watching. “I assume they knew.”

 

“I told Alex the day she came on board, but Liv only found out on Monday, as she asked me, after spotting we were close last Friday night.” Rafael enjoyed getting in a slight dig by pointing out that Liv had been more observant than he had been. 

 

Amanda had been outside having a cigarette, and came in to see something was happening. She sat down, and looked round quizzically. “What’ve I missed?”

 

Nick waved towards Martin and Rafael, and Amanda saw what the others had. “Well, well, well; that’s a surprise. You kept that very quiet. I thought my gaydar was better than that. I suspected you were gay, Barba, but not Martin.”

 

Martin laughed. “That’s because I’m not. Well, I suppose I must be bi, but my previous relationships have been with women.”

 

“So you decide to try out men and ended up with Barba? I’m sure you can do better than that,” Amanda joked.

 

Rafael glared at her while the others laughed. Martin looked at Rafael fondly then at Amanda. “I’m happy with him and wouldn’t want to change him or swap him for someone else.”

 

“Really? You must see something in him that the rest of us have missed then. Or maybe he’s great in the sack.”

 

Rafael choked on his drink as she said that. Martin slapped him on the back while saying “no comment.” He did blush though, which Amanda thought was charming. She was surprised that Barba hadn’t bitten her head off. Obviously Martin was good for him. Now she thought about it, he hadn’t been as grouchy as normal. It looked like now she knew the reason why.

 

Liv decided now was the time to interject before things got out of hand. “Okay, so now we all know. Personally, I want to thank you both for staying professional throughout this case, and especially Martin for his hard work with us. If he hadn’t spotted that their missing persons case had similarities to one of our investigations, we never would have gotten any of these men off the street, and those girls would still be being abused. You didn’t have to come and work with us either, so thank you for the assistance. If you ever get fed up of the FBI, please let me know, as you will always be welcome at SVU.”

 

Martin blushed more at the praise, but appreciated Olivia changing the subject way from him and Rafael. “Thanks Olivia, and I will remember that when I want another change from missing persons. If I can ever be any assistance with you through my FBI contacts, please let me know. I’ve really enjoyed working with you all, and I hope we can stay in touch.”

 

Olivia replied. “If you continue to see Rafael, I’m sure we will see you again, and I appreciate the offer of help. The FBI does have more resources than NYPD, so we may take you up on that.” 

 

After that, the attention moved away from Martin and Rafael, and the detectives carried on drinking and talking about other things. Fin sidled up to Martin. “I now see why you were so fine when I told you my son was gay. Six weeks huh. That makes it before you started working with SVU. Come to think of it, you did have a strange reaction when you met him at the precinct.”

 

Martin smiled. “I had no idea if any of you would be homophobic, but I was pleased to find out it wasn’t an issue. Not for my own sake, but for Rafael’s. After all, I’m off back to the FBI next week, but you work with him regularly. As for when we met, yes it was a few weeks before I started with SVU, but we hadn’t discussed work, so had no idea who each other were until we met that night.”

 

“No one in the squad has a problem with gays, so Barba will be fine with all of us. We might tease him a bit, but he’s a good man, and no one here will treat him any differently because we know he’s gay.”

 

Barba overheard this. “I didn’t think anyone would have a problem, or else I wouldn’t have let you all know, but it’s nice to have it confirmed. I’ve had enough of hiding after the last few weeks.” He yawned after saying that. It was getting late, and he had been up early to finish his closing statement. Martin saw the yawn and decided it was time to call it a night. He still got tired quickly, probably due to him still recovering from his wound.

 

The two of them getting up and putting their coats on prompted the others to decide to leave too. All the detectives shook hands with Martin as he wouldn’t be working with them again, and Liv, Alex and Amanda all gave him hugs and kisses on the cheek.

 

The group all made their way outside to get cabs, and as it was cold, Martin and Rafael stayed close together as they waited. Fin and Nick were at the curb hailing cabs while the women chatted. Rafael could see Alex watching them closely and knew what she was watching for, remembering that she had been quizzing him about their love life. He wasn’t usually into public displays of affection, but in this case he couldn’t resist. It was dark outside and there were only the detectives and Alex there, and they weren’t all watching him and Martin. So he pulled Martin closer to him and leaned in for a kiss. Martin didn’t resist.

 

Alex saw Rafael look at her before he made a move on Martin, so didn’t hesitate to watch the two men kissing. It was hot, as she had thought it would be and made her feel envious. She nudged Olivia who was looking the other way so she didn’t miss it. By the time the two men pulled away from each other and looked round, all three women were watching them and smiling. Rafael smirked at them and Martin blushed at being the center of attention.

 

Just then, Fin managed caught their attention. They had gotten a few cabs, and so could all leave. Martin and Rafael got in one after a final goodbye to the others, and looked at each other. “Where to?” Martin asked.

 

“How about my place?” Rafael asked.

 

“Yeah, why not. I’ve seen far too much of mine since I got shot. I’d like a change, and to see where you live.”

 

Rafael gave his address to the cab driver, and within 10 minutes they were there. They got the elevator up to his floor and he let them in. Martin walked in and looked round while Rafael put on the lights and took his coat off.

 

“Very nice,” Martin commented.

 

“I like it, although I don’t see enough of it as I spend too much time at work. But maybe now there is more incentive to work shorter hours, and be here more, as long as I’m not here alone.” Rafael walked towards Martin as he said this, and wrapped his arms around him. They kissed, and then Rafael started to take off Martin’s coat, being careful still with his arm, which was still painful if he moved it the wrong way.

 

After they had dispensed with their coats, Rafael took Martin’s hand in his and led the way to his bedroom. Martin looked round at the neat but masculine bedroom, but Rafael distracted him again. “You can look round later. I can think of better things to do right now.” Martin grinned and gave Rafael his full attention again.

 

It didn’t take long for Rafael to get them both naked and in his bed. Their kisses were getting more passionate and they were both hard and rocking against each other by the time Rafael pulled away to look at Martin. “So what do you want to do tonight?” he asked Martin, nibbling down his neck to his collarbone as he waited for a reply.

 

Martin laughed. “Come on. Are you still doing that? I’m hardly a nervous virgin any more who you need to go slow with. I think it’s time you had the choice, and we did what you want to do.” He honestly didn’t mind what they did, and now he had tried most things, he wanted to give his lover the decision to make.

 

Rafael smiled. “In that case, I want you to make love to me. I want to feel you inside me, and be able to feel the reminder of it tomorrow when I move.”

 

Martin met his smile. That was okay with him. He tried to reach around towards the bedside table, where he assumed Rafael kept condoms and lube, but couldn’t reach as he didn’t have full use of his arm yet. Rafael did it for him, and grabbed a condom which he unwrapped while passing Martin the lube. Martin opened it and both men moved to their sides. Rafael propped up one leg to give Martin better access, and caressed his chest and back while Martin let his hand wander downwards, giving Rafael’s cock a few pulls before moving lower and taking his balls in his hand, then further still until he was in the right position to start opening him up.

 

While Martin stretched Rafael’s entrance and stimulated his prostate with his fingers, Rafael put the condom on to Martin and then covered the latex in lube. “Are we best doing this with me on top again, to save your arm?” he asked, and when Martin nodded, he got up and let Martin lie down, before straddling him. Martin pulled him forward before he could sink down on top of him, and then propped himself up on his good arm so he could reach forward and take Rafael’s cock into his mouth. Rafael gasped at the sensation, and tried not to buck forward further into Martin’s mouth when he felt the strong suction and flicking of Martin’s tongue over the head of his cock. After a couple of minutes of this, he pulled out, knowing he wouldn’t last much longer with those sensations. He wanted to come with Martin inside him.

 

Rafael used one hand to steady himself and the other holding Martin’s cock upright as he slowly sank down until he was sat on Martin’s groin, fully impaled on his cock. He groaned. This was what he had wanted all week. He rose slightly then sank back down again slowly, then speeded up as the pleasure soared through him as the head of the cock inside him brushed his prostate.

 

The two men started moving to their own rhythm, thrusting together and never taking their eyes off each other. Martin was using one hand in counterpoint on Rafael’s cock, while enjoying the exquisite sensation of the taut ass muscles contracting over his own. Rafael bent down so he could kiss Martin as they got closer to their peaks, but they had to pull away to breathe, both of them panting now. Rafael came first, with his seed spilling over Martin’s hand and chest as he gasped out Martin’s name. The tightening of his ass muscles was enough to tip Martin over the edge and he came too, deep inside his lover.

 

It took a minute before either of them could move, and then Rafael raised himself off Martin and collapsed on the other side of the bed while Martin removed the condom. They mopped up with tissues before getting under the covers and moving into each other’s arms again.

 

Rafael lay with his head on Martin’s shoulder and they gazed at each other, both recognizing the emotion they saw in each other’s eyes. It might be too soon to speak of it, but they knew that what they felt was love. Neither of them would have guessed this would be the outcome when they had met, with the circumstances and the problems they had encountered making it more likely that their relationship wouldn’t have survived. But instead it was flourishing, and they felt if they could withstand what they had done already, they could cope with anything. Now there was no reason they couldn’t be together, and they didn’t need to keep it a secret either. They could relax and just enjoy each other’s company. Neither of them could wait.

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next 2 chapters are an epilogue. I hadn't planned on continuing this story (and don't expect any more!), but this snuck up on me. 
> 
> They are based back at Missing Persons of the FBI, rather than SVU, and mainly center on Martin as he comes out and reveals his relationship with Rafael.

Martin tried to pace himself and just keep going as he ran through Central Park alongside all the other competitors in the New York City Triathlon. He had trained for this for months and was on target for a good time, with not far to go now. He had spent the time during the race thinking about how happy he was with the way his life was going now. It was really different to what he had expected, but great. No longer did work dominate his time and his thoughts. Yes, he still worked hard and put in a lot of hours, but now he had a personal life as well which was more important to him.

Since he and Rafael had been able to start seeing each other properly following the culmination of the trial of the rose tattoo pedophiles, they had been spending increasing amounts of time together, and now were pretty much living together, with Martin’s apartment relegated to a post collection point and storage area. His lease was up at the end of the month and he had given notice after a serious discussion with Rafael about their future. This time next month they would be living together officially, and he would need to come clean at work as they would need his new address. It was one thing he had put off for far too long.

At first Martin hadn’t wanted to tell anyone in missing persons that he was seeing Rafael as he hadn’t wanted anyone to make the connection his dad had done – that his feelings for Danny who had just gotten married were a catalyst to the changes in his life. He had also wanted to make sure that their relationship was going to last before telling anyone else about them.

When he had gone back to work at the FBI after his stint with SVU, they really hadn’t spent that much time together; two  weekends, a few liaisons in the club, and the times they had met at work wasn’t enough to convince him that their relationship would survive. At that point they had never even been out on a date.

But now, many months later, not only had it survived, but it was flourishing. They had spent more and more time together, actually going out on dates and not only at one of their apartments, but also out for dinners, day trips out, and even had a long weekend away together as their vacation. Martin had accompanied Rafael to various SVU nights out too, and continued his friendship with the members of the SVU squad. With the long hours Rafael worked, Martin being called away for work at random times wasn’t a problem, as they both understood the natures and pressures of each other’s job.  

Today had been the day that Martin had planned to come clean about his relationship with Rafael to his work colleagues from missing persons. Of course Rafael would be there at the finishing line when he finally finished this race, and most of missing persons had declared they would be there to support him too. This would be the ideal time. Except then the DA had ruined their plans by announcing he was holding a brunch that day as part of his re-election bid, and he expected all his ADAs to be in attendance. So Rafael had reluctantly wished Martin good luck that morning before he set off for the race, and then headed off to the DA’s brunch. Martin wasn’t now expecting to see him until he got home, much later that day.

Martin speeded up as he saw the sign indicating they were on the last stretch. He broke into a sprint as he saw the banner indicating the finish line and the cheers of the crowd spurred him on. He made it over the line and then slowed to a jog, looking round to see if he could see any familiar faces in the crowd which thinned as he got further away from the finishing line. He heard his name being called and looked around, to see most of the missing persons squad, plus Olivia and Rafael with big grins on their faces, stood together waiting for him.

***

Rafael had been at the DA’s brunch for an hour and a half, making small-talk and listening to the speeches, before he decided he had had enough. Although his career was important to him, and he wanted to be in Jack’s good books, Martin was much more so. He wanted to get out of here and be there for the end of Martin’s race, and was determined to do that.

Just as Rafael was trying to work out whether it would be best to ask for permission to leave or just sneak out, he spotted Alex Cabot coming towards him. They had been collaborating on the trials of the men who had bought girls who had been abducted, so were still working together, although not so closely as they were working on separate trials. Rafael now considered Alex a good friend, and she had spent time socializing with him and Martin and been round for a meal more than once in the last few months.

“Hi Rafael,” she greeted him with a smile. “I wasn’t sure if you would be here. Isn’t today the triathlon race day?”

“Yes it is,” Rafael replied grumpily. “I couldn’t believe it when Jack picked today to hold this shindig. Why couldn’t he have picked another day? I’m just working out if it’s best to ask permission or seek forgiveness later. I want to be there when Martin finishes, and judging by the time he’s expecting to finish in, I need to get out of here soon if I’m going to make it.”

Alex looked around the room and saw Jack surrounded by benefactors. “I would say to ask, but I doubt you’ll be able to get Jack alone, so sneaking out might be your only option. So how are things going with you and Martin? Still as good as they were last time I saw you?”

Rafael smiled at her. “Things are great. He’s giving up his apartment and moving in with me officially in a few weeks. All he has to do now is tell his work colleagues about us.”

“They still don’t know?” Alex was surprised about this.

Rafael shrugged. “Not yet. He went out with one of the team, and had feelings for another one, so he wanted to wait a bit. He was planning to come out to them today, after the race, but Jack wrecked that plan by insisting I be here.”

Just then, he saw Jack break away from the crowd he was with and head towards the mens room. This was his chance. “Excuse me, Alex, I’m going to corner Jack now.” Rafael grinned at her before rushing off, keeping one eye on Jack as he got gradually closer. He made it to his boss just before he entered the bathroom.

“Jack, sorry to bother you, but I just wondered if it would be okay with you if I left now. Martin’s running the New York Triathlon now, his first one, and I really want to be there when he finishes.” Rafael knew he had a pleading look on his face. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Jack said no, but he had always found him reasonable in the past, so hoped this time wouldn’t be any different.

Jack looked at Rafael and smiled. “You’re still seeing each other? That’s great Rafael. Of course you can go. Thanks for your support in coming today. Congratulate Martin for me, and I’ll see you on Monday.”

Rafael grinned at his boss and muttered his thanks before heading away towards the exit. He had time to get out of his suit and down to the park before Martin was expecting to finish now.

Forty minutes later, he made it to the park, and managed to find Olivia, who had said she was coming to see Martin finish. She was with Martin’s teammates, having recognized Jack Malone as she had met him before. Rafael introduced himself as the ADA for SVU, but didn’t say anything about being Martin’s boyfriend. It was up to Martin to out himself.

He looked at the FBI agents gathered curiously. He knew plenty about them from Martin, and recognized them from the photos Martin had, but this was the first time he had met any of them. He saw that Samantha Spade was beautiful, and could see why Martin had fallen for her. She was with her boyfriend, Brian, and their son Finn.

The person Rafael was most interested in though was Danny Taylor, the man Martin had fallen for and whose marriage had prompted the changes in Martin’s life that led to their relationship. He was with his wife, Elena, and had Sofia, Elena’s daughter on his shoulders so she could see the runners better. Danny had a firm handshake and a welcoming smile, and was obviously very attractive. Rafael had gotten over his initial concern that he was second choice for Martin, as Danny was unavailable. He was much more confident in their relationship now. Still, it would be nice to put any lingering fears to rest when Martin finally came out to his friends from work.

***

Martin’s mind was whirring as he saw Rafael among his work colleagues. He hadn’t expected him to be able to make it, knowing the DA’s brunch was likely to drag on for hours. But here he was, so Martin could finally come out.

Martin slowed to a walk as he got to the group waiting for him. He headed straight for Rafael, with a big smile on his face. Jack passed Martin his bag and Martin got out a towel, and started to wipe sweat off himself, knowing how Rafael felt about embracing him when he was hot and sweaty. It was one thing when they were both naked, and hot and sweaty due to sex, but quite another when they were dressed. Rafael didn’t like his designer clothes messed up. They had had this squabble many times while Martin had been training for this race.

“Congratulations. That was your personal best time, and better than you were expecting.” Rafael smirked at Martin, knowing what his lover was thinking. “The DA says congratulations too.”

“Yes, what are you doing here? I thought you’d be stuck at his place for much longer than you obviously have been.”

Rafael raised his eyebrows at Martin. “What? Aren’t you pleased to see me?”

Martin glared at him. “Of course I am, but I am surprised.”

Rafael shrugged. “I left early, with Jack’s permission. I didn’t want to miss this.”

Martin finished wiping himself down and dropped the towel on top of his bag before stepping forward and enfolding Rafael in his arms. “Thanks,” he said before letting go. He really needed to stop ignoring the others who had turned up for him as well.

Jack passed a bottle of cold water to Martin who looked around at the gathered people. “Thanks for coming guys, I really appreciate it.” He took a long drink of the water and then looked down as he felt a hand on his leg. Noah was stood there looking up at him and holding out a home-made card. Martin crouched down so he was at the young boy’s height and took the card, which showed a childish drawing of a man running and a banner above his head. Inside it said ‘well done Uncle Martin’ in very shaky writing. He loved it.

“Thank you Noah. This is great,” he said, giving the boy a gentle hug. He stood up and smiled at Olivia. “Thanks Liv, for coming and for the card.”

Olivia grinned back at him. “You’re welcome, Martin.” She had seen quite a bit of Martin since he had left SVU and gone back to the FBI, and quite a few times Martin had been training in the park when she and Noah had been there, so the young boy had got to know Martin. Martin was good with children, unlike Rafael, having spent quite a bit of time with his cousins and their offspring, and Noah had taken quite a shine to him. Olivia encouraged it, knowing Noah needed some good male influences in his life, and had invited the two men over a few times for dinner. Even Rafael, with Martin’s help, was getting more comfortable with Noah. 

Sofia had been watching this from her vantage point of Danny’s shoulders, and didn’t want to be left out, so indicated that she wanted to get down. After Danny had gently lowered her to her feet, she walked over to Martin and gave him a hug, telling him she had seen him running when he came round the corner, and when she was grown up, she was going to be able to run like the wind too.

Martin hugged her back, laughing, and thanked her for coming. She then walked back to her mom and told her in a stage whisper that she wanted to go to the toilet.

This was the signal for the group to move. It had been agreed in advance that they would go to a nearby restaurant for some food after the race, and so Martin had booked a table. He suggested the others went ahead while he had a quick shower in the competitors’ area which had been set up, and then he would join them. Rafael and Martin shared a long look before Martin picked up his bag and headed in the opposite direction to his friends and lover.

***

Rafael kept an eye out for Martin and when he saw his boyfriend approaching the restaurant he excused himself and headed out, meeting Martin just outside the door. Martin immediately went into his arms and they shared a close hug and then a kiss before pulling a bit away from each other.

Rafael ran his hand through Martin’s damp hair, not willing to let him go, and smiled at him.

“I’m really pleased you made it,” Martin told Rafael. “This means we can get back to our original plan. It’s time those guys inside knew how much you mean to me.”

“Are you sure? It’s still your decision,” Rafael checked that Martin was still okay with coming out. He knew it was a big step.

“Definitely. I’ve waited too long already. Everyone else knows about us, and I’ve had enough of hiding. I love you, so much.” Martin kissed Rafael tenderly, and then took Rafael’s hand in his, and they headed into the restaurant together.

Olivia saw them coming in together, hand in hand, and knew what was coming. She had known that Martin’s workmates didn’t know about him and Rafael, and although Rafael had assured her that he wasn’t concerned about Martin’s reluctance to come out to them, she was pleased that he finally was going to do it. She just hoped they were as accepting of Martin’s sexuality as the SVU squad had been when finding out about Rafael’s.

The two men sat down together in the spaces that were free at one end of the table, and Martin took a swig of the beer that Rafael had bought for him. He felt the need for a bit of Dutch courage before doing this. Just as he was about to speak, the waitress appeared with menus, so he decided they should order first, then he could make his announcement while they were waiting for their food.

It took a while for everyone to decide on food and order, and then everyone seemed involved in their own conversations. Martin answered Jack’s question about the race times and had another drink, feeling frustrated at his own inability to bring up the subject he most wanted to discuss. He felt Rafael’s hand squeezing his thigh, under the tablecloth, and took in a deep breath.

“Relax, and stop worrying about it. This is your day, you should be enjoying it,” Rafael murmured, quietly enough that no-one other than Martin would be able to hear him.

Martin looked round and saw the love in Rafael’s eyes. He took a deep breath in then looked away, catching Jack’s attention.

“Jack, there’s something I wanted to tell you. Actually it’s something I want everyone to know.” His voice got louder, and gradually, the various conversations around the table stopped, and everyone looked at Martin. He could feel Rafael’s hand on his thigh still, and it gave him the courage he needed.

“I wanted everyone to know that I’m in a relationship, with Rafael, and we’re moving in together.” Martin let out his breath, and put his arm around Rafael, in full view of his work colleagues, and waited for their reaction.

There was silence for a few seconds which felt endless to Martin, before Jack cleared his throat, and looked at him. “Well, I can’t say this isn’t a surprise, Martin, but as long as you’re happy, then I’m pleased for you.”

Martin smiled gratefully at him. He didn’t think any of the missing person’s team was homophobic, but apart from in the context of various cases, the subject had never come up, so he couldn’t be sure. “Thanks Jack, I am, very happy.” He looked around at his other team-mates. Sam looked shocked, and Danny looked hurt, and he couldn’t read any emotion in Elena’s face.

Jack laughed suddenly and looked over at Rafael. “It just occurred to me; usually men have issues with their mother-in-law, but in your case, I think it’s Martin’s dad you’re likely to have problems with,” he said.

Martin groaned and Rafael smirked. “Yes, Victor isn’t my biggest fan, although he seems to be coming round a bit now. Helena and I get on fine, although she is disappointed that I won’t be able to provide her with grandchildren.”

Jack looked surprised. “You’re a brave man, taking on Victor. Has he known about the two of you long?”

Rafael answered. “We met when Martin was in the hospital with the gunshot to his arm when he was working for SVU, and have had dinner when he was here with work. We’ve also spent a weekend in Washington with them.”   

This, more than anything else, told Jack how serious Martin and Rafael were. He looked round and saw the faces of Danny and Sam, and decided he needed to keep the conversation going until they recovered enough from the shock to join in.

“So where are you moving to, Martin?” Jack asked. Martin filled in Jack about where Rafael’s apartment was, and they discussed the area and the hassles of moving.

In the meantime, Liv was looking around at Martin’s friends, and could see the look of shock on Samantha’s face. As she was sat next to the FBI agent, she decided to talk to her. She had been told by Rafael that Martin had previously been in a relationship with her, and suspected the look of shock was due to her not being aware that Martin was interested in men.

“You look quite shocked, Samantha,” Liv said in a low voice.

Sam looked round at her. “Yes, I am. I didn’t know Martin liked men as well as women,” she answered. “You obviously knew about them before today,” she commented.

Olivia smiled. “Yes, I’ve known for a while. They make a good couple and are very happy together. If it makes you feel any better, I know that Rafael is Martin’s only relationship with a man. I know he was nervous of coming out to you guys, so he would appreciate it if you could show him some support.”

Sam looked startled. “I’m not homophobic. I don’t have a problem with gay men. It’s just a shock to see Martin with a man, considering…” she tailed off, not sure she wanted to mention her relationship with Martin.

“Considering he went out with you.” Olivia finished the sentence for Sam. “Yes, I know about that. But you seem very happy with Brian and now have Finn too. You and Martin have both moved on.”

Sam smiled at Liv. “Yes, it’s good that we’re both happy, and that’s the important thing. Don’t worry. Martin has my support.”

Sam leaned forward and caught Martin’s eye. “Good for you. If you need any help in moving, just let me know, and I’ll send Brian to help you.” She gave Martin a grin and a wink, and smiled at the glare her boyfriend gave her.

Martin felt some of his tension drain away at Sam’s comments. He really wasn’t that bothered what Elena thought, as they weren’t that close, but Danny was still not looking at him, and had seemed really hurt when he had made his announcement. That was what was worrying him. He got up and headed to the men’s restroom. He had been drinking pints of water since the race to get hydrated, and he needed to get rid of some of it.

Danny got up too when Martin left the table, and Rafael started to rise, worried that Martin might need his support. Jack caught his arm. “Leave them to sort it out amongst themselves. It’ll be okay.”

Rafael looked at Jack, still concerned, but sat back down. He would have to trust that Martin would be able to handle Danny’s reaction.

Martin came out of the bathroom and found Danny waiting for him in the corridor, out of sight of the table the others were sat at. Martin stopped, knowing he couldn’t put this off. “What’s the matter Danny?” he asked.

Danny looked up at him, and Martin could see the hurt in his eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me, Martin?” he asked. “I thought we were good friends, best friends even, but then I find out you’ve been in a relationship for over 6 months and didn’t tell me anything about it. I thought you trusted me.”

Martin sighed. “I do trust you, Danny, you know that. I didn’t tell anyone at work before today.”

“I thought we were more than just work mates. Obviously your family has known about this for a long time, and so has SVU as you seem pretty tight with Olivia and her son. So why have you kept it from me?”

Martin was quiet. This had been what he was afraid of. He couldn’t really explain why he had kept silent for so long without telling Danny about his feelings for him, which is what he wanted to avoid.

“Olivia and my parents needed to know very early on as there was a conflict of interest because I was a witness on the case that Rafael was prosecuting. We thought that there was a chance the defense could try to use our relationship so it could come up during the trial. I knew if that happened the press would get hold of it and would go straight to my dad to get his reaction. So I had to tell my parents so he could be prepared in case it came out. Otherwise no-one would have known about it. At that point we really hadn’t even started dating properly.”

Martin looked at Danny and could see he wasn’t fully satisfied with the explanation. He wasn’t surprised. He had been working back at missing persons for months and had plenty of opportunity to tell Danny about his relationship, but had avoided doing so. He also knew that if it had been a woman he had been seeing, he would have said something.

“Look Danny, I’ve not done this before; coming out to my friends. It’s taken me a while to get up to guts to speak to you all, so please cut me a little slack. I don’t think you’re homophobic, and I do consider you a very good friend, not just a workmate, so your opinion means a lot to me. But today isn’t really the right time to hash this out. How about you take the time to get used to the idea, and we talk again another day, when we don’t have a table of friends with us and food on the way?”

Danny nodded slowly. He knew it wasn’t the right time for this talk, but he would make sure it happened.

Martin started to walk back towards the others, but was stopped by a hand on his arm. He turned back to look at Danny.

“I’m not homophobic, and you’ll always have my support, Martin. If Rafael makes you happy, then I’m pleased for you.” Danny couldn’t leave their discussion without Martin knowing he didn’t have a problem with him for being gay. He might have a problem with Martin not saying anything earlier, but they could work that out.

The two men got back to the table and sat down just as the waitress brought their food. Rafael looked from one man to the other, trying to read their expressions. Martin squeezed his hand as he sat down, and smiled at him. “Don’t worry. Things will be okay between me and Danny, eventually. He’s not homophobic and says he’s happy for us.”

Rafael relaxed at hearing this. He wasn’t convinced Martin was telling him the whole story, but he had finally come out to his friends. They could deal with any fallout from this.

***

On Monday, Martin got into work a bit later than usual. He was stiff from the race, despite the ibuprofen he had taken and the massages that Rafael had given him. He was taking it easy for a bit now. He got a coffee and sat down, just as Danny arrived at work and sat down. He took off his jacket and looked across the office at Martin, before heading over and perching himself on the edge of the desk.

Martin turned to face Danny, and saw the serious look in his eye.

“Are you free after work tonight? I thought we could get a drink, maybe some dinner, and sort things out between us.”

Martin nodded. He had expected that Danny wouldn’t wait long before cornering him for more of an explanation. “Sure, that’s fine with me. What about Elena?”

“She’s taking Sophia to her sisters for a visit. Rafael?”

Martin shrugged. “He’s in the middle of a big case, so I expect him to be working late.”

“Okay, then. Hopefully we won’t get a case, so we can get out at a reasonable time.” Danny walked back to his desk and got started on the paperwork that had still to be finished from their last case.

By the time they made it away from work and walked to the local bar they often frequented, Martin’s nerves were in shreds. He had spent all day wavering between being honest with Danny and telling him how he had once felt about him, and not saying anything about it. In the end he had decided to just wait and see how the conversation went.

Both men ordered a bar meal and got themselves a drink before settling in at a table away from anyone else.

Danny took a sip of his water and contemplated Martin before starting in on the questions he had been wondering about all weekend, since Martin first made his announcement.

“So how long have you been into men? I’ve only ever heard you mention relationships with women before now.”

Martin shrugged. “I’ve always been attracted to men, although women more. Rafael is my first relationship with a man though.”

Danny looked surprised at that. “What stopped you before?”

Martin took a sip of his drink. “I always liked women too, so it was just easier to find a woman to go out with. Plus with the pressure from my family, it never seemed worth the hassle before now.”

“But with Rafael, it is worth it?” Danny queried.

Martin smiled. “Definitely. We hit it off from the first time we met, and I’ve never regretted my decision to get involved with him. Even with the hassles due to me working with SVU and the conflict of interest that caused, it was worth it.”

“So this is serious, as in a long-term commitment?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t be moving in with him otherwise.” Martin confirmed.     

“I bet your dad doesn’t like it,” Danny commented.

Martin sighed. “Not really, although he’s taken it much better than I ever would have expected. Mom worked on him, and the fact that he found out about us when I was in hospital with a gunshot wound tempered his response, I’m sure. I think he likes Rafael well enough. He just would prefer me to be with a woman, a suitable one to bear the Fitzgerald name, and provide attractive grandchildren.”

“Well you can get married, although grandchildren may be difficult, unless you adopt or find a surrogate,” Danny smirked.

Martin laughed. “Don’t hold your breath. I don’t see children on the cards for us, although marriage, maybe. It’s too soon for that though. But you’re the one who’s tied the knot recently. How’s marriage for you?” Martin decided to turn the conversation away from his relationship.

Danny smiled. “It’s good. Sofia keeps changing her mind what she wants to call me, from Danny to papa. Things are going well between us, and Elena has even suggested we start trying for a baby of our own.”

“Good. You’re a great dad to Sofia, so I’m sure another one would be a lovely addition to your family.” Martin had known that he had gotten over his feelings for Danny a long time ago, and hearing about his great relationship with Elena didn’t even make him feel anything but happiness for his friend. He really was over Danny, and wouldn’t want anything different from his relationship with Rafael.

Just then their food arrived, and they ate in companionable silence. After they finished, Danny sighed.

“So, come on Martin, why did you really wait so long to tell us about Rafael? You’ve been seeing each other quite a while now and have had plenty of opportunities to tell us, to tell me, so why didn’t you?”

Martin took a drink. “I didn’t know how any of you would react, and it was just easier not to say anything. It’s not as if we have spent that much time together since you got married. We’ve drifted apart over the last year or so and don’t see much of each other outside work.”

Danny thought about this. “I know I’ve been spending more time with Elena and Sofia, but you seriously didn’t think I was homophobic did you?”

Martin shook his head. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t think Sam would react well after our past though. She seems okay though, and Jack’s fine too. Elena hasn’t said anything to me though.”

Danny looked at him sharply. “Elena doesn’t have a problem with it. She isn’t homophobic either.” He decided to change tack as he could see Martin wasn’t going to give him any more explanation as to why he had hidden his relationship.  “I was surprised when I got back from our honeymoon to find you had started working for SVU. What prompted that?”

Martin could feel himself tensing up further at the turn Danny’s questioning had taken. “One of the cases we had led me to a case SVU had investigated, and the higher ups said that we had to drop it and SVU take the lead. Jack offered to let me work with them to solve the case.”

Danny was watching Martin carefully. “So is that the only reason you went to work there? We’ve had cases which linked to other departments before, and Jack’s never suggested one of us go work elsewhere in the past. Why this time?”

Martin sighed. “I told him I wanted a change. Seven years working in missing persons without a break was getting to me. I wasn’t in his good books anyway after the fiasco with Kim, so it seemed a good opportunity.”

Danny nodded. “And how did Rafael fit into this? You couldn’t have met when you first started working with SVU as that wouldn’t have caused a conflict of interest, but if you were together before that, you would have known not to work on it because of the conflict.”

Martin took a swig of his drink. “We had met a few times before I went to work there, but neither of us had discussed work or knew what each other did. It was a shock when we found out we were both working the same case.”

Danny looked confused. “Do you usually keep what you do a secret when you are going out with someone? It seems strange you didn’t talk about work.”

Martin flushed. “Look, we met at a discrete men’s club. We didn’t talk about work, but met there a few times.”

Danny smirked. “Ahh. A club to meet to hook up, and have sex only. I get it. Did you often do that?”

“No. I met Rafael the first time I went there.”

“So what prompted you to go there? Where did you meet guys before that?” Danny quizzed him.

Martin sighed and gave in. “I didn’t meet guys before that. Rafael’s the only man I’ve been with. I went to the club to explore that side of myself and was lucky enough to meet him and we hit it off. We arranged to meet up again, and continued for a few weeks until we decided to take it outside the club and actually have a proper relationship. At that point we discovered we were both working on the same case and had to wait until after the trial was over before seeing each other. Any more questions, or are you planning to ask about my sex life next?”

Danny laughed. “Are you going to answer if I ask about that?”

Martin smiled. “Definitely not.”

“So to recap: you decided you needed a change at work and asked Jack for a temporary transfer, and decided to explore your sexuality at a club for men, all around the same time, which was when Elena and I got married. Are you going to try and tell me that’s a coincidence?” Danny was watching Martin’s face as he said this, and saw the wince that gave away that he was right, and that it was all connected.

Martin didn’t answer, but had a long drink of his beer, while he avoided Danny’s gaze.

“Come on Martin, talk to me. You can tell me anything, you know. Why did me marrying Elena have such an effect on you?” Danny kept his voice gentle, suspecting he knew the answer. It would explain why Martin had avoided telling him about the relationship.

Martin decided he needed to be honest. “It affected me because I was attracted to you, and had wanted a relationship with you. When you got married I knew I needed to move on and find something else in my life. I also decided I needed to figure out if I really liked men and wanted a relationship with one.” Martin was looking away from Danny at this point, not having the guts to see his reaction.

Danny sighed. This is what he had thought. “Why did you never say anything to me, tell me how you felt?”

Martin shrugged. “I was going to, after the shooting, but then I got addicted to the painkillers. I knew I had to get clean first, and by the time I was, you were seeing Elena. There was never a good time to say anything. Plus, you’ve never given any indication that you liked men, only women, so there didn’t seem to be much point.”

“It’s true I’ve never mentioned any men I’ve gone out with, but I consider myself bisexual and I have been with men.”

Martin glared at Danny. “So you’ve given me a hard time about not telling you I like men when you do yourself, and haven’t said anything in the 8 years we’ve known each other.”

Danny looked a bit sheepish at that. “I haven’t had a serious relationship with a man since I’ve known you though. Only casual ones, or one night stands.”

Now his secret was out, and Danny seemed to not have a problem with it, Martin wanted the answer to a question he’d wondered about for years. “So if I had told you I was interested in you, when you were single, what would your response have been?”

Danny smirked at him. “I think it’s safe to say your introduction to gay sex would have been a lot sooner. I’d have enjoyed initiating you.”

Martin flushed. “But would it have just been about sex to you, or would you have wanted more?”

Danny looked seriously at him. “Martin, if you had told me how you felt about me a couple of years ago, before I was seeing Elena, I would definitely have wanted a relationship with you. It’s a shame we never got the chance.”

Martin nodded. “Yes it is, but things have worked out well for both of us. You’re happy with Elena, and I’m definitely very happy with Rafael. I love him, and if we had gotten together, I probably would never have met him. I can’t regret that.”

Danny smiled. “Good. So was that the real reason that you didn’t tell anyone at work about Rafael?”

“Yes. My dad made the connection as soon as he found out about Rafael and I didn’t want you or Jack to figure it out, so I decided to keep quiet.”

Danny’s eyebrows shot up at that, and he choked on his drink. “Your dad figured it out? I didn’t realize he knew anything about me.”

“Yeah, it surprised me too. He knew you had just married Elena and asked me if Rafael was a rebound relationship. It’s not by the way.”

“As you’ve been together this long, I know it’s not. Does Rafael know how you felt about me?” Danny was curious to know what Martin had told his partner.

“Yes he does. I told him about Sam too. We’ve both been honest about our past. What I feel for him is so much more than I ever felt for anyone else.” Martin wanted to make sure Danny knew he was over him.

“So now you’ve finally introduced him to us, are you going to be bringing him to social events again?”

“Yes,” Martin confirmed. “I’ve been going to his work events since I worked with SVU so it’ll be nice to bring him along to mine now. He’s been very patient, waiting for me to finally get round to telling you guys about us.”

“Good. I look forward to getting to know him better. And if you need any help with moving, let me know. I’m happy to help. No matter what relationships we are both in, I’ll always consider you a good friend Martin, and I’ll always be here for you.” Danny smiled at Martin, and saw the answering smile back. Their friendship was back on track. Martin’s relationship and his past feelings for Danny wouldn’t change that.   


	8. Chapter 8

One month later, Martin was waiting to testify again, in federal court against the abductors who had captured the teenaged girls and sold them into sexual slavery. The defense team had been working hard to discredit the witnesses, and had paid for very good attorneys. The members of SVU had all testified, and Martin had heard from them what a hard time they had had on cross-examination. Now it was his turn. He had practiced with the federal prosecutor and also with Rafael, coming up with answers to potential questions he could be asked, but Martin was still worried.

The previous afternoon he had given his evidence, but the judge had decided to adjourn for the night before cross-examination. That was this morning.

John Buchanan was the lead defense attorney, and he got up to question Martin. “So, Agent Fitzgerald, I believe that four years ago you became addicted to prescription painkillers, is that true?”

Martin breathed in deeply. It was the first time he had been asked about this on the stand, and it just showed how deeply they had investigated him. “Yes. I’m in Narcotics Anonymous, and have been clean for 3 years 8 months and 5 days.”

 “And during this case, you were shot and underwent surgery, is that true?”

“Yes. One of your clients, George Allenby, shot me whilst trying to escape. I believe he is being charged with attempted murder as a result.”

“Gunshots are painful. I imagine it must be difficult to cope without adequate analgesia. How can we be sure that you didn’t give in to your addiction at that time, which was while you were working this case?”

“I was treated with non-addictive medications. I had no narcotics at any time during my recovery, and I asked my doctor to do blood tests which prove that. Plus all the work I did on this case was before my injury.” Martin was very glad he had gotten the blood tests done.

“So the prosecution felt they needed to ask for blood tests to prove you were clean, and still removed you from the case. Very interesting.” Buchanan smiled at the jury.

“Objection,” called out Mark Berrenger, the federal prosecutor.  

“Sustained,” decided the judge, and then told the jury to ignore the last remarks from Buchanan.

Martin started to relax as Buchanan walked away from him to the prosecution table, thinking the worst was over. But the large attorney just picked up a piece of paper from the desk and approached him again. He put the page in front of Martin, and he could see it was a copy of his change of address form to the FBI. His heart sank. He knew where this line of questioning was heading.

“You have recently moved, isn’t that correct, Agent Fitzgerald?”

“Yes it is,” Martin answered.

 “And who is it that you now live with?”

“Rafael Barba.” Martin said. He knew not to give any more information than necessary.

“Objection; what has Agent Fitzgerald’s personal life got to do with his testimony?” Berrenger asked the judge, despite knowing full well where Buchanan was going. He and Martin had discussed this possibility.

The judge looked at Buchanan, who commented “a little latitude here please, your honor. The link will be clear very soon.”

The judge overruled the objection and Buchanan continued.

“Rafael Barba, Assistant District Attorney for Manhattan SVU, who was prosecutor on this case before it was moved to federal court. Isn’t that correct?”

“Yes. He was one of the prosecutors on this case, along with ADA Alexandra Cabot.” Martin answered.

“So how do we know that your boyfriend, the ADA, didn’t influence your investigation of this case, or indeed your testimony? Tell me, Agent Fitzgerald, when did you and ADA Barba start dating each other?”

Martin tried to look relaxed, but suspected he failed. “He was not my boyfriend at the time I was working this case. My first actual date with ADA Barba wasn’t until after I finished working with SVU and was back working at missing persons at the FBI.” Although what he had said was strictly true, as he wasn’t prepared to lie on the stand, it was definitely a thin line he was trying not to cross. He just had to hope that Buchanan wouldn’t probe deeper.

Berrenger stood up again. “Your honor, unless the defense can prove that ADA Barba and Agent Fitzgerald were in a relationship at the time of this investigation, and that it has influenced the way that investigation was performed, I don’t believe questioning this witness on his private life any further has relevance to this case.”

The judge looked at Buchanan, and asked “Do you have any proof to offer this court of ADA Barba interfering with this investigation?”

Buchanan looked down at his notes. He didn’t have any, and had just hoped that by bringing it up, it may shed some doubt onto Agent Fitzgerald’s testimony. “No your honor,” he replied.

“Do you have any further questions for this witness?” the judge asked.

Buchanan shook his head. “No your honor.”

Mark Berrenger stood up. “Redirect?” he asked the judge, who nodded. He then turned his gaze to Martin.

“Were you asked to get drug tests by anyone following your injury?”

Martin smiled. “No, I wasn’t. I decided to get them done myself so I had a record in case of it ever being brought up, like it has been today.”

“And why didn’t you work on this case after you were shot? Were you taken off the case?”

Martin shook his head. “No. I was off work recovering from the shooting for nearly a week, and by that time the investigation had been completed. I was never taken off the case.”

Mark Berrenger smiled at Martin. “No further questions.” He sat down as the judge excused Martin.

Martin let out his breath. It was over. Now he just had to deal with the consequences. He gave Berrenger a smile as he walked out of the court, already turning his phone off silent and sending out a text to his dad and Rafael to let them both know that he had been outed on the stand. He wanted to warn them both as soon as possible.

Within 5 minutes, Rafael rang Martin, who was on his way back to the FBI offices. Martin filled him in on what Buchanan had asked and his replies, just so Rafael would know what had been revealed.

Rafael swore. “I might have known that Buchanan would use any dirty trick he could. It won’t work though, as you have proof that you are clean and he can’t prove we were seeing each other before you went back to the FBI. But I’m sorry that you’ve been outed on the stand not only as a drug addict but as a man in a gay relationship.”

Martin laughed.” Well, we suspected both things might come out, and they are true. I’m just glad he didn’t probe any deeper.” 

Rafael agreed, although he knew that he hadn’t done anything wrong. His relationship with Martin had had no bearing on the investigation, and he had been upfront about it to the DA from the start.

“Have you warned your dad?” Rafael asked Martin.

Martin sighed. “I sent him the same text I sent you. I’m expecting to hear from him soon. I’m sure he won’t be happy, but at least he’s had time to prepare a politically correct response.”

“I’d better go as I’m on my way to a deposition. I’ll speak to you after it finishes. I love you.” Rafael finished the call after listening to Martin’s declaration of love, and tried to get back into work mode. He was worried about the backlash the testimony would have. Buchanan had better hope he didn’t come near him any time soon.

***

Martin got back to the FBI offices and was immediately called into Jack’s office.

“Your testimony has made the news already. Your dad is on his way out to make a statement.” Jack had his computer on the live news channel, and Martin could see his dad walking out of the Washington FBI office and surrounded by a throng of reporters, questioning him about his gay, drug-addicted son.

“Damn. I texted him the second I got out of court, but I haven’t spoken to him,” Martin said. “He was aware this was a possibility though.”

Martin saw his dad stop walking and hold up his hand for quiet. He waited with baited breath to hear what his dad would say.

“My son, Martin was shot in the line of duty, and nearly died. During his recovery from his nearly fatal injuries, he became addicted to narcotic painkillers, as has happened to many good men and women. He was courageous enough to not only recover and go back to serving our country as an FBI agent, but also to recognize his addiction and overcome it, with the help of Narcotics Anonymous. He has been clean of drugs for over three and a half years now. I am proud of his bravery and strength.”

Martin smiled. It was the first time he had ever heard his dad say he was proud of him, and typically, it wasn’t in person, but through the press.

“As for Martin’s personal life; yes he is in a relationship with a man, ADA Rafael Barba. He is another good man who works hard to keep our country safe and see justice done. I don’t believe any person should have to justify their sexuality or have to face any discrimination due to it. My son’s personal life should be private and not subject to press scrutiny.”

Martin heard a reporter ask a question about discrimination in the FBI.

“The FBI does not discriminate against a person's sexual orientation. We have openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender employees. There is an active LGBT employee advisory committee and employee organization - FBI Pride. The FBI welcomes and appreciates the contributions of its LGBT employees.” Victor Fitzgerald had been prepared for this question, and recited the official FBI policy, which he had looked up, particularly in case this question was asked.

The next question was about Rafael, and if Victor would welcome him into the Fitzgerald family, should he and Martin get married.

“Martin’s mother and I have met Rafael on a number of occasions and like him very much. What is more important is that he makes Martin happy. As long as he continues to do so, we will be pleased to consider him part of the family, just as we would any woman that Martin was involved with. As for marriage, I think that is a question reserved for the two of them, not me. But I am pleased that the change in legislation means that this is now an option they can consider.” This was another question he had prepared an answer for. He quickly made his way to his waiting car, and made his escape.

Martin had a smile on his face as he finished watching his dad drive away. He couldn’t have hoped for a better response. A few seconds later, his cell started ringing. He took it out of his pocket and saw who it was. “Hi dad,” he said as he answered. Jack left the room, giving Martin time to talk to his dad in private.

“Yeah I just saw it. It was very politically correct and well-rehearsed. Thanks for the support though. I suppose we can expect questions about when we’re getting married now.” 

“Did you really think I wouldn’t support you, Martin?” Victor answered. “I hope you don’t get any hassle but if you do, just remember it will die down soon.”

“I know it won’t last long, and yes, I did think you would be publically supportive. It wouldn’t do for you to say anything negative about my drug problem or sexuality.”

There was silence for a few seconds as Victor took this in, and realized that Martin believed he had said what he had to the press because it was the politically correct response.

“Martin, my responses today weren’t only given because they were the right things to say politically. I know I haven’t always been supportive of your choices in life, but what I said out there is all true. I am proud of you for overcoming your addiction and for your bravery. As for Rafael, he is not who I would have picked as a partner for you, but I can see he makes you happy, and I have no problem considering him part of the family. Should you ever decide you are going to get married, I will be very pleased to welcome him officially as a member of the family.”

Martin could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He had never expected to hear these words from his dad. “Thanks dad, that means the world to me,” he whispered into the phone. He could hear the beeping which indicated a waiting call, and wasn’t surprised when his dad told him he had to go. They both put down the phone, promising to talk later.

Martin took in a deep breath and then sent a quick text to Rafael, letting him know his dad had been caught by the press and given a supportive statement. He then left Jack’s office to find the rest of the missing person’s squad sat around the conference table, obviously discussing the latest developments in Martin’s life.

“Are you okay, Martin? Was your dad okay about your testimony?” Danny asked. Jack had told them what Victor had said, but they all knew that what he said to the press and what he said to Martin privately could be very different.

“Yeah, he told me what he said to the press was the truth. I think it’s the first time he’s ever told me he is proud of me. He says he likes Rafael and considers him part of the family. I felt like asking where my real dad had gone, as he’s obviously been taken over by a pod-person.”

Despite Martin’s joking, they could all tell that he was quite touched by his dad’s support. It wasn’t anything he had been able to count on before now. 

***

Rafael finally got out of the deposition, thankful it had been the defense asking the questions, not him. His mind was not on his job at the moment, but on Martin. He turned his phone on and saw the text from Martin, then went into an empty room so he could watch the press coverage for himself in private. He quickly found it online, and watched Victor giving his statement and answering the questions posed to him. He was pleased that he had been so supportive, as Martin had indicated. He knew the press would probably try to get him and Martin to speak to them though. Sure enough, Rafael had also had a message from his secretary telling him that his office was getting calls from the press. He checked with one of his neighbors, and heard that some reporters were waiting outside their building also.

He rang Martin and spoke to him, and was amazed to hear that Victor had finally told his son he was proud of him, and had admitted what he said to the press was true. Rafael had always felt unsure of Victor’s opinion of him, and it had made some of their encounters a bit tense. One thing they did have in common though was their love for Martin.

He told Martin that reporters were trying to get to them, and suggested he and Martin faced the press together, rather than separately. Martin agreed, so they arranged to meet at a bar around the corner for a drink before heading home when they finally finished work for the day.

After a drink and discussion of strategy, Martin and Rafael walked back to their home, hand in hand. It didn’t take long for them to be spotted, and they stopped outside to answer questions. They had agreed to get this over with and answer all the questions at once, so they wouldn’t be hounded for weeks. It would look as if they had something to hide if they avoided it.

The first questions were pretty predictable.

“How long have you been a couple?”

“About 6 months now,” Rafael answered. “We went out on our first date just after Martin went back to the FBI, after working at SVU.”

“Did you meet while working together?” was the next question.

“We had met a couple of times before I started working at SVU, but working together helped us get to know each other a bit better, and as a result of that we decided we wanted to start dating.”

“Have you always known you were gay?” was asked by another reporter.

Martin looked at Rafael to answer first. “Yes, pretty much. When I was younger there wasn’t much acceptance of gay relationships, so I’m pleased that this has changed now, although I’m sure Martin’s relationship wouldn’t have made the news today if it had been a woman he had been seeing.” Rafael couldn’t resist getting in a dig about the press only being there because Martin was involved with a man.

The reporter ignored the comment but thrust the microphone at Martin to get his response. “I’m not gay. I consider myself bisexual, and have had relationships with women before I started dating Rafael.”

“Are you planning to get married?”

Martin laughed. “Hold on a minute. We’ve only been dating about 6 months, and we’ve just moved in together. I think we need a bit longer together before we consider that step. But I certainly wouldn’t rule it out at some point in the future.”

The next question was aimed at Rafael. “Are you aiming to be the first gay District Attorney in New York?”

Rafael smiled. “We have a splendid DA now, in Jack McCoy. I support his re-election and hope to work for him for a long time to come. As for me, as long as I can continue to do good work and fight for justice in the courts I’m happy. Despite the improvements in their lives and the changes in legislation, too many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are victimized. I see this in my job as ADA for the Special Victims unit all the time.”

“Do you believe there is discrimination in the workplace, and have you faced it yourself?”

Rafael looked at Martin to answer this one. “I haven’t had this problem myself and neither has Rafael. Our bosses and work colleagues all know we are involved, and we have received nothing but support from those we work with. But I do believe there are a lot of people who feel they can’t come out because they are worried about their jobs. This is especially true for those in the public eye. After all, who would voluntarily come out and face you guys?” Martin joked, indicating the group of reporters in front of them. He heard laughter at that comment.

“Come on guys, surely you have more newsworthy stories than us being in a gay relationship,” said Rafael.

“Martin, how did get addicted to drugs?” a reporter at the back of the group shouted out.

Martin looked at Rafael. “Thanks, that was a great change of subject.” To the reporters he answered; “I sustained two gunshot wounds to my abdomen, and nearly died. I was put on heavy duty painkillers during my recovery, and after I got re-injured at work, I ended up taking more just to keep going. Two friends got me help and I started attending NA meetings. That enabled me to get clean and stay clean. It is a truly wonderful organization, and I fully support it, and the other 12 step programs which help those of us with addictions to overcome them.”

The reporter turned to Rafael next. “Do you have a problem with Martin being addicted to narcotics?”

Rafael smiled at Martin. “No I don’t. Addiction is a treatable disease which can be managed successfully, like it has been with Martin. I’ve known many people with an addiction, and have great admiration for anyone who has the strength to overcome it.”

“Would you be supportive if he took drugs again?” one daring reporter asked. Martin glared at him.

Rafael was also looking daggers at him. “Yes I would be. As it says on the NA website, addiction is a chronic disease, with physiological and behavioral components, and has relapse rates similar to other chronic medical illnesses such as diabetes, hypertension and asthma. So I am well aware that relapse is very possible. I don’t believe it will happen in Martin’s case, but I would definitely support him and make sure he got the treatment he needed.”

“Any other questions or can we go home now?” Martin asked.

There was silence for a couple of seconds, but just as the two men turned to go in the building, one reporter called out “How about a kiss?”

Both men stopped and looked at each other before turning round again. “Come on,” Rafael said, “you wouldn’t ask that of a straight couple.”

“Course we would, and do all the time,” was the response.

“We’ve been stood here holding hands for the last 20 minutes - surely you’ve managed to get a good enough picture of us by now?” Martin asked.

“Not as good as a kissing photo would be,” was the reply.

Martin rolled his eyes as he heard Rafael swearing under his breath next to him. But both men knew if they didn’t give the reporters what they wanted, that they would be trying to sneak photos of them another time. They would have to guard against any PDA for weeks.

Martin made a decision and quickly moved in and gave Rafael a chaste kiss on the lips before pulling away again. Both men saw the flash of cameras and heard the shutters going off. They grinned before heading into the building, this time without any final comments.

They got into the elevator and looked at each other. “Well that went better than I thought it would,” Rafael commented.

“Yeah, hopefully we’ve been through the worst of it now. I’m definitely looking forward to having this weekend off. Can I suggest we stay here, preferably in bed all day tomorrow?” Martin grinned at Rafael. They had both been working hard all week, and it had been a couple of weeks since they had had quality time together.

“That sounds good to me,” Rafael replied, before pulling Martin into his arms for a decidedly more passionate and lengthy kiss than the one they had given the reporters outside, only interrupted when the elevator stopped at their floor. They got out and headed into their apartment. They were home at last.

Finally they were alone, and everyone knew about their relationship and had supported them. Martin’s part in the trial of the abductors was over, and his dad had even come round and admitted he was proud of Martin and liked Rafael.

Now they could really relax and look forward to their future together.    


End file.
